Ukrainian Wife's Poem







He didn't like my holubtsi



And he didn't like my cake,



He said my perogies were too hard


Not like his mother used to make.


I didn't perk the coffee right


He didn't like the borscht,


I didn't mend his socks


The way his mother used to do


I pondered for an answer


I was looking for a clue.


Then I turned around and

Smacked the shit out of him

Like his mother use to do!

…………………………..

I love a good poem; don’t you?

Lindsay "Linds NFS" Frisky - 12 years, 5 months, 12 days ago

The Banana Test


There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals,
Lion , Chimp , Giraffe , Squirrel

They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree.
Who do you guess will win?
Your answer will reflect your personality.
So think carefully . . ..
Try and answer within 30 seconds. Got your answer?
Now scroll down to see the analysis.
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If your answer is:
Liondisable= you're dull.
Chimpanzee = you're dense.
Giraffe = you're a complete moron.
Squirrel = you're hopeless.
A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS.



Obviously you're stressed and overworked.
You should take some time off and relax

Lindsay "Linds NFS" Frisky - 12 years, 5 months, 12 days ago

The Funeral
A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 Feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.
The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said:



"I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"


"My wife's."


''What happened to her?"
"She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her."

He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"

The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."

A very poignant and touching moment of brotherhood and silence passed between the two men.

"Can I borrow the dog?"

The man replied, "Get in line."










Lindsay "Linds NFS" Frisky - 12 years, 5 months, 27 days ago

It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from your mouth to your stomach.A human hair can hold 3 kg.The length of a penis is 3x the length of the thumb.The femur is as hard as concrete.A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.Women blink 2x as much as men.We use 300 muscles just to keep our balance when we stand.A woman has read this entire e mail.The men are still looking at their thumbs!



Lindsay "Linds NFS" Frisky - 12 years, 9 months, 4 days ago

Rubber Gloves

Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves, you're going to smile when you think of this:
A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old woman, was nervous, so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.
'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked.
'No, I don't,' she replied.
'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex, and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, Then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size.'
She didn't crack a smile.
'Oh, well.. I tried,' he thought.
But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.
'What's so funny?' he asked.
'I was just envisioning how condoms are made!'
(Gotta watch those little old women! Their minds are always working!)

Be afraid of old women! Be very afraid! They have been there and done that!







Lindsay "Linds NFS" Frisky - 12 years, 9 months, 17 days ago