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Christopher's tales
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Christopher
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
Christopher Loving - 12 years, 7 months, 12 days ago
Christopher
This is a Jung-Myers-Brigg Typology Test. I took this particular version at here, but if your google-fu is strong you may be able to find another. Enjoy the read. I tested as an ISTP (Introverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving)

Like their fellow SPs, ISTPs are fundamentally Performers (note the capital 'P' :-)), but as Ts their areas of interest tend to be mechanical rather than artistic like those of ISFPs, and unlike most ESPs they do not present an impression of constant activity. On the contrary, they lie dormant, saving their energy until a project or an adventure worthy of their time comes along--and then they launch themselves at it. The apparently frenzied state that inevitably ensues is actually much more controlled than it appears--ISTPs always seem to know what they're doing when it comes to physical or mechanical obstacles--but the whole chain of events presents a confusing and paradoxical picture to an outsider.

ISTPs are equally difficult to understand in their need for personal space, which in turn has an impact on their relationships with others. They need to be able to "spread out"--both physically and psychologically--which generally implies encroaching to some degree on others, especially if they decide that something of someone else's is going to become their next project. (They are generally quite comfortable, however, with being treated the same way they treat others--at least in this respect.) But because they need such a lot of flexibility to be as spontaneous as they feel they must be, they tend to become as inflexible as the most rigid J when someone seems to be threatening their lifestyle (although they usually respond with a classic SP rage which is yet another vivid contrast to their "dormant," impassive, detached mode). These territorial considerations are usually critical in relationships with ISTPs; communication also tends to be a key issue, since they generally express themselves non-verbally. When they do actually verbalize, ISTPs are masters of the one-liner, often showing flashes of humor in the most tense situations; this can result in their being seen as thick-skinned or tasteless.

Like most SPs, ISTPs may have trouble with rote and abstract classroom learning, which tend not to be good measures of their actual intelligence. They tend, sometimes with good reason, to be highly skeptical of its practical value, and often gravitate towards classes in industrial arts; part-time vocational/ technical programs can be useful to even the college-bound ISTP. In terms of careers, mechanics and any of the skilled trades are traditional choices, and those ISTPs with strong numerical as well mechanical gifts tend to do extremely well in most areas of engineering. Working as paramedics or firefighters can fulfill the ISTP need to live on the edge; they are at their best in a crisis, where their natural disregard for rules and authority structures allows them to focus on and tackle the emergency at hand in the most effective way.

ISTPs with more sedate careers usually take on high-risk avocations like racing, skydiving, and motorcycling. While aware of the dangers involved, they are so in touch with the physical world that they know they can get away with much smaller safety margins than other types.
Christopher Loving - 12 years, 7 months, 13 days ago
Christopher
Your dating personality profile:

Shy - You are often timid around others, though you will open up when the right person comes along.
Practical - You are a down-to-earth individual who is not impressed with material excess. You care about the stuff of like that really matters.
Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love.
Your Top Ten Traits

1. Shy
2. Practical
3. Big-Hearted
4. Athletic
5. Liberal
6. Sensual
7. Adventurous
8. Romantic
9. Traditional
10. Stylish
Your date match profile:

Outgoing - Shy and timid people are not who you are after. You need someone with a vibrant personality to breathe life into a relationship.
Sensual - You aren't looking for someone who is sexually repressed. You want someone who is adventurous under the covers.
Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.
Your Top Ten Match Traits

1. Outgoing
2. Sensual
3. Practical
4. Big-Hearted
5. Adventurous
6. Athletic
7. Romantic
8. Wealthy/Ambitious
9. Conservative
10. Stylish

Take the Dating Profile Quiz at Would I Date You

Christopher Loving - 12 years, 7 months, 14 days ago
Christopher
I stole this from Miss Echo who stole it from Shazz who stole it from Utterly :) Dunno where she got it but it rocks.
(PS: Kell--doesn't count for you. hahaha)

It's just so simple.

After browsing many a profile, I can't help but be slightly irritated. Okay really irritated. I found this and thought it was indeed, something to share.
Everyone makes mistakes, that's understandable. There are just some things that have to be said...
Perhaps, someone will learn something.


lose - the opposite of win, to misplace something. ONE FUCKING O
loose - the opposite of tight, your mother/wife/sister. TWO FUCKING O's
How can so many people get these two confused? Idiots.

your - a possessive, similar to mine, his, hers as in, "your loose slut of a sister loses her mind every time she gets railroaded by your whole inbred, shitbag excuse of a family". NO FUCKING APOSTROPHE
you're - a contraction of "you are", as in "you're a dipshit". A FUCKING APOSTROPHE

its - another possessive, similar to your. NO FUCKING APOSTROPHE
it's - a contraction of "it is", as in 'it's fucking simple'. A FUCKING APOSTROPHE

Need a trick? Fine - when using it's or you're, expand the contraction.
If "you're head is full of shit" it becomes "you are head is full of shit" and doesn't make any sense... (maybe it will to you if you're a fucking idiot), then you are using the wrong word. Queef.

to - a preposition, as in "turn to the right" or "it's time to go back to school". ONE FUCKING O
too - an adverb (know what that is?), synonymous with "also", "as well" as in "Really? I went to college too. I actually read a FUCKING BOOK." It can also be used to mean "to a regrettable degree" as in "It's too late for you, moron". TWO FUCKING O's
two - is a number, it comes after one.

there - an adverb, similar to here as in "your tiny bus is over there".
their - yet another possessive, similar to 'your' as in, "it's not their fault that you're a fucking retard. It's YOUR fault."
they're - a contraction of "they are" as in, "they're not responsible for your complete fucking ignorance." GO READ A BOOK!

It's not that hard, douche bags.

By the way, grammar is spelled with TWO FUCKING A's. So next time you want to flame someone for bad "grammer", at least spell it right.

That's our lesson for today.

Fucks.
Christopher Loving - 13 years, 11 months, 28 days ago
Christopher
1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No!
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages or comments you and Asks!

Now, here's what you're supposed to do... And please do not spoil the Fun. Copy and paste this into your tales, delete my answers and type in your answers.

Kissed anyone one of your HP friends IRL? no
Kissed any of your FB friends IRL? Yes
Been arrested? No
Kissed someone you didn't like? no
Slept in until 5 PM? Yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? yes
Held a snake? Yes
Ran a red light? Yes
Been suspended from school? No
Totaled your car/motorbike in an accident? No
Been fired from a job? No
Sang karaoke? No
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes
Kissed in the rain? Yes
Sang in the shower? Yes
Sat on a rooftop? Yes
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? Yes
Broken a bone? No
Shaved your head? No
Blacked out from drinking? No
Played a prank on someone? Yes
Felt like killing someone? Yes
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? Yes
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? No
Been in a band? No
Shot a gun? Yes
Tripped on mushrooms? No
Donated Blood? No
Eaten alligator meat? No
Eaten cheesecake? Yes
Still love someone you shouldn't? Yes
Not in love with someone you should be? No
Think about the future? Yes
Believe in love? Yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? Yes
Christopher Loving - 14 years, 28 days ago
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Comments

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Emma
I don't want to escape from you, hun, so could you please sell me if you come on at all?

Take care, and I wish you luck in your life.
Emma "Babygirl" Cheeky - 11 years, 11 months, 26 days ago
Bye HP

Tenderly loved You have been given Tenderly loved.
Crafted by Wolf Queen
Bye HP "Lil one" Sparkling - 12 years, 2 days ago
Bye HP
whosss my lil subbie bear?! You are!!! Yes you are!!!
So sweet You have been given So sweet.
Crafted by Pimpmunk
Bye HP "Lil one" Sparkling - 12 years, 10 days ago
lyl

thanks for shopping You have been given thanks for shopping.
Crafted by lyl
lyl "ColoUrBlind ♥" sitting nearby the broken tree - 12 years, 10 days ago
Susanna
Thanks for shopping, Christopher!!
Bunnies You have been given Bunnies.
Crafted by Susanna
Susanna "AB FAB" Dazed - 12 years, 10 days ago
was shena

a dick in a box You have been given a dick in a box.
Crafted by Unknown
was shena Neglected - 12 years, 10 days ago
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