Don't focus on raising your voice ... focus on improving your argument.
Unknown "tease..." Feisty - 15 years, 5 months, 20 days ago

Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation.
They were determined to make this a real vacation
by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.
As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store
and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses,etc.
The next morning they went to the beach
dressed in their "tourist" garb.
They were sitting on beach chairs,
enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a
"drop dead gorgeous" blonde in a topless bikini
came walking straight towards them.
They couldn't help but stare.
As the blonde passed them she smiled and said
"Good Morning, Father ~ Good Morning, Father,"
nodding and addressing each of them individually,
then she passed on by.
They were both stunned.
How in the world did she know they were priests?
So the next day, they went back to the store
and bought even more outrageous outfits.
These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them!
Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to
enjoy the sunshine.
After a little while, the same gorgeous blonde,
wearing a different colored topless bikini, taking her sweet time,
came walking toward them.
Again she nodded at each of them, said
"Good morning, Father ~ Good morning, Father,"
and started to walk away.
One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said,
"Just a minute, young lady." "Yes, Father?"
"We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know,
how in the world do you know we are priests, dressed as we are?"
She replied,
"Father, it's me, Sister Kathleen."
Unknown "tease..." Feisty - 15 years, 6 months, 4 days ago

George Carlin's New Rules For 2008

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: Do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out of a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Caviar?

New Rule: If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job that pays better than minimum wage, then for God's sake don't pierce or tattoo every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around saying' Do you want fries with that?'

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it, it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to 'chicken with broccoli.' The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.
Unknown "tease..." Feisty - 15 years, 6 months, 9 days ago

For attractive lips ... speak words of kindness...
For lovely eyes ... seek out the good in people.
For poise ... walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone...
People, even more than things, have to be restored,
renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed;
never throw out anyone.

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.

Unknown "tease..." Feisty - 15 years, 6 months, 9 days ago

Has just experianced parasailing for the first time in CUBA - it was the most amazing experiance ever ... WOW !!!!!!!!!
Unknown "tease..." Feisty - 16 years ago