look im sorry to those i know and hold dear and those that have held me the same here, but life does tend to get in the way sometimes..... and as such it has made me come back here in turn to look in on a side of me ive neglected and wish i hadnt..... i'll likely be coming in a lil more now as i need a lil solace and comfort from some dear friends i know and i can draw upon... some fam issues have come up that well i really dont know how to deal with ...... how can i be ready for such a loss? im not ready to say goodbye, he's not gone yet but the end is near..... how do i say goodbye Dad?
PiMpStA aka Calvin "MINE" Adored - 14 years, 5 months, 18 days ago

52 things you would love to say out loud at work


If only......


This is brill....enjoy

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

10. Ahhhh. I see the f ***-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a sh*t.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any resemblance between your reality and mine are purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your cry-baby whiny-arsed opinion would be?

24. Do I look like a f****** people person to you?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.

31. Oh I get it. Like humour, but different.........

32. An office is just a mental institute without the padded walls. Could be changed to wet/dry area!

33. Can I swap this job for what's behind door .........1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume (or aftershave). Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career; it turns out I just needed the money.

39. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent.

40. Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

41. Aren't you a black hole of need.

42. I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?

43. Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?

44. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.

45. If you have something to say raise your hand.........then place it over your mouth.

46. I'm too busy, can I ignore you some other time?

47. Don't let your mind wander, its too small to be let out on its own.

48. Have a nice day, somewhere else.

49. You're not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight away.

50. You are as pretty as a picture, I'd really like to hang you.

51. Don't believe everything you think.

52. Do you hear that? That's the sound of no-one caring.
PiMpStA aka Calvin "MINE" Adored - 15 years, 20 days ago

LOL another to add to my joke collection...... some may not find this as funny as i did.... i will admit it does lack in taste lol

Couple drivin home ran over a fox, they get out & find it's stil breathin but freezing cold.

He says "Put it between ur legs 2 warm it up", she complains "But it's all wet and it stinks",

he replies "Well hold the foxes fuckin nose then!"
PiMpStA aka Calvin "MINE" Adored - 15 years, 28 days ago

A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

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The surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been operated: "I'm afraid we're going to have to operate you again. Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves inside you."

"Well, if it's just because of them, I'd rather pay for them if you just leave me alone."

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Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! Thats terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

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Doctor: "I've got very bad news - you've got cancer and Alzheimer's"
Patient: "Well, at least I don't have cancer"

PiMpStA aka Calvin "MINE" Adored - 15 years, 1 month, 5 days ago

=( my lil bro just found out a few hours ago on fb that my gramps is in Uof A hospital had a heart attack on Friday ..... my cousin had it on his status.... damn my list is too big lol i didnt see it in fact i dont see anything past 5min old on my homepage.. =(
PiMpStA aka Calvin "MINE" Adored - 15 years, 1 month, 7 days ago