A few years ago my family went to las vegas. My parents went to the casino and I sat by the dolphin pond for hours. They swam around in circles, and I saw my sadness mirrored in their eyes. They were trapped. I knew how they felt. I was trapped too. I can't help but feel trapped still. It's as if my decisions aren't really my own. Who I am and what I'm going to do with my life doesn't seem my choice to decide anymore.

Things get complicated and my perception of the world continues to grow more jaded. Love once seeming so obtainable is something I don't know if I even understand anymore. It seems to have become a mess of broken thoughts and tainted dreams. What do you say to those who have broken your heart and moved on without a second thought?

I wish I could justify to myself why I have such a hard time trusting others. I want the past to be in the past instead of inadvertently causing those in the future to suffer from the mistakes someone else has made. I always seem to wreck the good relationships or potential good relationships because of my insecurities. Pushing away the people I want to love and who could love me.

Looking into the mirror is like a slow mental suicide. A girl stares back at me and it's like someone I don't know. Lip gloss to paint on a fake smile; mascara brightens up the eyes, and inside I scream that I want to somehow be better...prettier...someone who isn't me. My insecurities pray on my mind, and I let them.

I've been told the sun makes you happy, but I've always felt better in the rain.
Taya Maria "Little Angel" Seductive - 16 years, 9 months, 2 days ago

this is amazing.

Taya Maria "Little Angel" Seductive - 16 years, 10 months, 26 days ago

<3the fiction we live<3
You might be just what I need
No I would not change a thing
Been dreaming of this so long
But we only exist in this song
The thing is, I'm not worth the sorrow
And if you come and meet me tomorrow
I will hold you down, fold you in
Deep, deep, deep in the fiction we live
I break in two over you
I break in two
And if a piece of you dies
Autumn, I will bring you back to life
Of course I see you
I do.
Taya Maria "Little Angel" Seductive - 16 years, 11 months, 25 days ago

*I like this song by Tila Tequila...it's so pretty:)*

Everytime you messed with my head
All the things you did and you said
see my scars spell out your name and...you're paralyzing me.
Everytime you left me behind
All these tears are no longer mine
because you took it all away and...you're paralyzing me.

Memories they fall apart whenever you're inside my head.
Take my tears they say alot since you're the one who put them there
When I needed you the most you were, nowhere to be found.
But I still hung on just hoping for my love to come around.
Taya Maria "Little Angel" Seductive - 16 years, 12 months, 4 days ago

It's Taya Bitch!!

I'm not even going to lie...I like Britney Spears. I'm listening to her right now.
Taya Maria "Little Angel" Seductive - 17 years, 6 days ago