A man walked into a restaurant in a strange town. The waiter came over and
asked him for his order.

I'm feeling lonely, he replied, "so what I'd really like is some meat loaf
and a kind word."

The waiter returned with the meat loaf, set it down on the table and began
to walk away.

The man asked, "Where's the kind word?"

The waiter stopped, sighed, bent down, and whispered, "Don't eat the meat
loaf."


Laurie "sweetness" Purring - 12 years, 11 months, 16 days ago

A boy awoke and wanted breakfast so he told his mother. She said, "Not until you feed the animals."
The boy went outside and said to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicked the chicken. He did the same with the cow and the pig. The boy then went back into the house and told his mother he was hungry. His mother said, "I saw you kick the chicken so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow so you're not getting any milk and I saw kick the pig so you're not getting any bacon."

Just then the boy's father walked down the steps and tripped over and kicked the cat and the boy said, "Mom should I tell him?"


Laurie "sweetness" Purring - 12 years, 11 months, 19 days ago

A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face.

"Maybe all I need is some fresh air," thought the man as he crawled outside.

He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud.

"Screw it," he thought. "I'll just crawl home."

The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep asleep.

"You went out drinking last night, didn't you?" she said.

"Uh, yes," he said sheepishly. "How did you know?"

"You left your wheelchair at the bar again
Laurie "sweetness" Purring - 12 years, 11 months, 20 days ago