******** BReak time **********

Ok, some of you may have noticed I havent written for a few days... the end of the story will come eventually... just need to piece it together in my mind....

whilst you wait, here are a couple of Laws that govern our universe!

ZYMURGY'S FIRST LAW OF EVOLVING SYSTEMS DYNAMICS
Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a larger can.

ETORRE'S OBSERVATION
The other line moves faster.

THE UNSPEAKABLE LAW
As soon as you mention something ....
... if it's good, it goes away
... if it's bad, it happens.

NONRECIPROCAL LAWS OF EXPECTATIONS
Negative expectations yield negative results. Positive expectations yield negative results.

HOWE'S LAW
Every man has a scheme that will not work.

SKINNER'S CONSTANT (FLANAGAN'S FINAGLING FACTOR)
That quantity which, when multiplied by, divided by, added to, or subtracted from the answer you get, gives you the answer you should have got.

MURPHY'S LAW OF SELECTIVE GRAVITY
An object will fall so as to do the most damage.

JENNING'S COROLLARY TO MURPHY'S LAW OF SELECTIVE GRAVITY
The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

GORDON'S FIRST LAW
If a research project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing well.

MAIER'S LAW
If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.

HOARE'S LAW OF LARGE PROBLEMS
Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.

BOREN'S FIRST LAW
When in doubt, mumble.

BARTH'S DISTINCTION
There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don't.

SEGAL'S LAW
A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.

THE NINETY-NINETY RULE OF PROJECT SCHEDULES
The first 90 % of the task takes 90 % of the time, and the last 10 % takes the other 90 %

FARBER'S FOURTH LAW
Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.

Imbesi's Law
In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty.

Freeman's Extension
...but you can get everything dirty without getting anything clean.

Law of the Search
The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it.

Maryann's Law
You can always find what you're not looking for.

The Cardinal Conundrum
An optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds. A pessimist fears this is true.

Etorre's Observation
The other line moves faster.

Witten's Law
Whenever you cut your fingernails you will find a need for them an hour later.

The Law of the Letter
The best way to inspire fresh thoughts is to seal the letter.

Matz's Maxim
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Hlade's Law
If you have a difficult task give it to a lazy man - he will find an easier way to do it.

Laws of Class Scheduling
1.If the course you wanted most has room for N number of students, you will be the N+1 student to apply.
2.Class schedules are designed so every student will waste the maximum time between classes.
Corallary: When you are occasionally able to schedule two classes in a row, they will be held in classrooms at opposite ends of the campus.
3.A prerequisite for a desired course will be offered only during the semester following the desired course.

Seits' Law
The one course you must take to graduate will not be offered during your last semester.

Principles for Patients
1.Just because your doctor has a name for your condition don't mean he knows what it is.
2.The more boring and out-of-date the magazines in the waiting room , the longer you will have to wait for your scheduled appointment.

Sinteto's First Law
A 60-day warranty guarantees that the product will self-destruct on the 61st day.

Hamilton's Rule for Cleaning Glassware
The spot you are scrubbning is always on the other side.

Witzling's Laws
1.Any child who chatters nonstop at home will adamantly refuse to utter a word when requested to demonstrate for an audience.
2. Any shy, introverted child will choose a crowded public area to loudly demonstraet newly acquired vocabulary (damn, penis, etc.).

Ballance's Law
How long a minute is depends on which sides of the bathroom door you're on.

Law of Returns
If you have watched a TV series only once, and you watch it again, it will be a rerun of the same episode.


Gregg "Kovac" Tired - 15 years, 7 months, 25 days ago

The travelled together for days and the wolf introduced herself as Liern. Adventuring throughout the forest they enjoyed each others company for many days.

Thoon had never been so happy before in his life. The enigmatic Liern was the perfect friend, always there to help him out in sticky situations and explain the ways of the deeper woods to him.

They continued their journey for many months, until one day they came upon the edge of the great forests. Here the leafy expanse ended and the horizon stretched out into a burning wasteland of dry brush.

Not wanting to end their journey together, they decided to continue onwards regardless, out into the burning sun.
Gregg "Kovac" Tired - 15 years, 8 months, 5 days ago

Slowly moving his legs and arms, the Sloth begins his journey to the forest edge.
After a few painfully slow minutes pass, the green eyed wolf gives a yelp in exasperation

"You haven't even made it halfway yet! At this rate we're going to be in this clearing till nightfall!"

stopping in his tracks, Thoon turns his head slowly back to regard the wolf.
"Can't you be patient?" He begins “The two most powerful warriors are patience and time. If you fail to wield them well all will fall apart”

Snorting, the wolf trots over to the to Thoon and simply adds as she pulls the smaller sloth onto her back with her massive jaws “Action makes more fortune than caution”

She breaks into a sprint, quickly reaching the forest barrier and diving through.

All that the poor bewildered Thoon can think of as he's plunged head first into the thicket, is how strange this wolf is now that he knows her.

Gregg "Kovac" Tired - 15 years, 8 months, 6 days ago

Taken back by the wolf's clearly passive attitude, Thoon raise a furry eyebrow

"I came down to see the world" He says simply but slowly after a few seconds thought, "I got tired of being lonely in my tree."

"Well then why are you still hanging around here?" The wolf adds with a grin, her eyes sparkling once more. "Your not going to see anything interesting sitting about here all day!"

and with that she nuzzled Thoon in the side, causing the sloth to jerk back in fright and begin moving toward the edge of the woods.

"I was getting there!"
He adds, refusing to be shown up by the wolf. "I just needed to make sure I was ready...."
Gregg "Kovac" Tired - 15 years, 8 months, 7 days ago

Reaching the base of his tree after a good amount of time (as he was slow moving, as most sloths are) Thoon suddenly rethought his desire for adventure.
The base of the gnarly old deeply rooted tree had a good 50 meters before it opened out into the forest. That was far to difficult a journey for the slow moving Thoon.

about to turn around, Thoon suddenly heard a rustling on the edge of the woods.
There stood a slightly ragged grey wolf. Her cold green eyes piercing Thoon.
Thoon had seen this wolf moving past before, but had always been high up safe in his leafy abode glancing down as the wolf went through the forest clearing.

Frozen in panic, the Sloth didn't know what to do. He knew that wolves, if hungry, would eat sloths. So he sat there at the base of the tree, hoping the wolf would move away.

The wolf didn't move away however, and instead she moved closer, a toothy grin on her face.

Thoon raised his long sloth claws up in front of his face. Hoping to ward off the vicious wolfs jaws.

Instead however, the wolf just gave a chuckle and said
"Tell me you great big gangly Sloth, why have you finally come down from your tree?"
Gregg "Kovac" Tired - 15 years, 8 months, 8 days ago