Today is my 10th year on HumanPets, it's been an amazing 10 years here and I've made some very good friends from all around the world. Thank you all for making it so much fun! Max "האביר"Thirsty
- 1 year, 9 months, 11 days ago
The Vanilla Queen Chapter One
You know you've made a wrong turn, when you're gaping at something that is not suppose to exist. I shook my head vigorously, trying to dispel the confusion among the voices discussing the logistics of this surreal coincidence. However, I am in control of my own personal asylum. I eased my Sighauser into my palm, like a casino dealer slipping out that hidden ace, and a hole suddenly appeared between the beady eyes of, and l swear l actually was positive, this was definitely a demon. The last time I had seen one was when Dracul had discovered Earths alter-dimensions. These portals were anomalies that appeared at random throughout the galaxies. For many centuries most scientists and astronomers thought there was only one endless galaxy. Soon after the first portal was discovered It was discovered that there were seemingly an endless abundance of separate galaxies. They were spread throughout the universe, consisting of there own sequence of planets much like our own, many were deserted and some were just dead planets like the rest in our own galaxy. Dracul gathered a selected few vampires and by chance I happened to be one of them. The first passage through the portal was an experience I'll never forget nor will ever be able to fully explain, I sit at night staring off into space, into this spectral wonder trying to fathom the immensity of it all. Countless nights just trying to make sense of this endless blackness with scattered sparkling stars which are planets just like our own, and is there just one universe or many, so many possibilities.
We stepped into the portal and were suddenly sucked into what I can only describe as a blue vacuum that spun continuously and we slowly began to move like we were being sucked in and then accelerated very quickly. It felt like an eternity but was only a few minutes in which we were catapulted through space to suddenly come to an abrupt halt in front of a door. Dracul was the first to step out onto what seemed like a desert, no, more of a wasteland. Our small group of discoverers travelled for hours until we came upon a camp inhabited by demons getting ready to attack through the portal. Dracul had acquired a map of portals throughout the Universe, which he has told no one how he had acquired it., and by just sheer luck, he aborted the takeover attempt and transported them to a dimension we earthlings like to call Hell. I know this is a vague account of how this all transpired, but trust me, it would bore you to death to hear the full account and take me far to long to explain. Earth actually owes Dracul a big one, and doesn't even have one iota of knowledge about it. Guarding the portal had become a burden I had to pay for, lets say a punishment for saying inappropriate things to our fearless leader. Days felt like centuries of tedious hours of doing absolutely nothing but standing in front of a door looking important. Countless hours of contemplating the meaning of life or the meaningless of life, defending on the kind of day I was having. It was actually a relief to have these voices in my head, at least I wasn't alone, well I was, but at least it didn't feel that way. On this particular day I was listening to the debate going on between the voices about Quantum physics, which was just boring me to no end, when I caught the hint of an odor that started to grow stronger, an odor that I had dispelled from my memory, but was quickly remembering. I could smell him as he rounded the church.
It was even worse than I expected, it was a Nephlim (half human half demon), you cannot tell them apart from the humans, except for the smell. You know they are close by when you detect the cloying sensation in the back of your throat. I had a cure for that which I had carried for centuries, just in case, its a little blue pill, so I quickly took four. Next thing I knew I'm standing there in shock looking down at this now deceased demon. The only thing I could think of was to report to the mayor, he must inform Dracul and I had to do it quickly, I stepped into the portal and blasted myself back to Transylvania.
- 4 years, 8 months, 27 days ago
It was a deperate situation, so I headed for Shullys, I needed a drink. As I rounded Chapman street, the drugs began to kick in. I had to be careful, this was bat country and I couldn't smell a thing. I hate bats. I needed more drugs. I also needed a car. I crossed Chapman and low and behold, a Caddilac, not just any Caddilac, a Caddilac Eldorado. One of the really old ones with the cool fins and the red diamond tail lights. I opened the trunk and it was full of drugs and booze. It looked like this was my lucky day. A hat, not just any hat but one of those thirties hats. My very own detective hat sitting curled up between a pound of hash and a six pack of Coors, so I grabbed the six pack too. In situations like this, you don't fool around.
I cruised through the West End District, sipping on a Coors, and holding on to my hat. Cockeyed glasses hanging off my nose as I hung a quick right and headed over the bypass crossing the stinking Thames, I can't believe they have one here too. A stinking cesspool full of stinking crap is what it is. Dracul built this place so it reminded him of London. Well as far as I was l was concerned, he had the stink down to a science.
I pondered this puzzle for a moment, and the voices decided to join in, Abe as I call him wanted to do more drugs, but I talked him out of it. If I had to put up with the smell, so did he. "As far as l know demons have been extinct on Earth and Transylvania for the past 8 centuries." I said, and the other two started into a three stooges routine that would make Curly proud. Seeing one in the 21st Century, really gave the voices something to talk about. "The alerts are obviously being set off more frequently for some apparent reason, this is not good!" I proclaimed, and shifted into ultra glide. This was the third time this week somebody has tried to breach the portal. Usually its just fellow vampires out for a little vacation time on Earth. Snacking on mortals is considered a no no these days, but some still find the temptation hard to resist. Our diet mostly consists of the Fae provided by Dracul, they have always had a desire for us, as we them. I was in the mood for a transfusion. They have a much larger capacity of delectable vitae, known as blood, twice as much as humans, and can't be killed. A more humane choice as a vampire diet I suppose, plus there was an overabundance of Fae here on Transylvania. Transylvania had been discovered back during the 13th Century by Dracul, he was the first to discover the portals between the two dimensions. Dracul decided to make this our home, as vampires were despised on Earth for snacking on mortals, it was considered murder just because of a gluttonous few. Personally, I don't see what the fuss was all about, but Dracul had decided he had had enough, I can imagine its not very much fun, being chased down and having a stake plunge through your heart. Beheading must be a tad uncomfortable too. I myself had been hunted after I was created in my birthplace of Scotland and was more than happy to escape the murderous mobs. Now back to the task at hand, I must think of a way to discover how these demons are coming through the portals. But first I think I need more of those blue pills, things are about to get even more stinky.
The voices cheer at my brilliant observation. Perhaps I should explain these voices a tad before my readers write me off for a lunatic. As you know, us vampires have telepathic abilities, and are able to read the thoughts of humans and fellow vampires. Well in my case, an unfortunate incident occurred while in my first days as a newborn undead. I accidently became overzealous in my newfound hunger and drained three not so very pleasant peers. Unaware of my consequences, I suddenly had sucked out their souls and had them trapped in my mind. So much for the vampires don't have souls theory. I am not exactly sure of the fundamentals of this strange occurrence, but unfortunately I am stuck with them. Its a minor inconvenience and I am learning to acquire understanding of this phenomenon, but for now lets just leave it that, I hear voices. At least I am never alone, haven't decided if that's a bad or good thing yet. They argue amongst themselves mostly, but I'm the one who has to listen to their continuous babble. It drives me insane, which is probably what you think I am. But I am a totally sane individual, at least that's what I keep telling myself as I am standing at the bar drinking Scotch at Shullys, my favorite bar.
- 4 years, 8 months, 27 days ago