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Max | HumanPets.com - Free online hangout and friends
http://humanpets.com/maximus666
Moontan
Moontan owns this human at 1762 points.
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Thirsty
Max
Max
"my beast 666"



Name:
Max , 58/Male
Last login: 7 hours, 59 minutes ago
Local time:8:26 PM
Join date:9 years, 10 months, 7 days ago
Location: Canada

"Maximus 666 "
About me:
About you:
Looking for: Friendship
Orientation: Straight
Herds (lead): Vampires Journal, Vampire Nights
Herds: Vampire Erotica Rules!, HP Café, Adult humour!!, Wench Fest, CHAT CAFEEEE, Gorean Chamber, OTTER'S FUN HOUSE, The Side Show

Moon Shadow
Moon Shadow
"Moon Shadow"
190 pts
Max's tales
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Max

The Vanilla Queen
Chapter One

You know you've made a wrong turn, when you're gaping at something that is not suppose to exist. I shook my head vigorously, trying to dispel the confusion among the voices discussing the logistics of this surreal coincidence. However, I am in control of my own personal asylum. I eased my Sighauser into my palm, like a casino dealer slipping out that hidden ace, and a hole suddenly appeared between the beady eyes of, and l swear l actually was positive, this was definitely a demon. The last time I had seen one was when Dracul had discovered Earths alter-dimensions.
These portals were anomalies that appeared at random throughout the galaxies. For many centuries most scientists and astronomers thought there was only one endless galaxy. Soon after the first portal was discovered It was discovered that there were seemingly an endless abundance of separate galaxies. They were spread throughout the universe, consisting of there own sequence of planets much like our own, many were deserted and some were just dead planets like the rest in our own galaxy. Dracul gathered a selected few vampires and by chance I happened to be one of them. The first passage through the portal was an experience I'll never forget nor will ever be able to fully explain, I sit at night staring off into space, into this spectral wonder trying to fathom the immensity of it all. Countless nights just trying to make sense of this endless blackness with scattered sparkling stars which are planets just like our own, and is there just one universe or many, so many possibilities.

We stepped into the portal and were suddenly sucked into what I can only describe as a blue vacuum that spun continuously and we slowly began to move like we were being sucked in and then accelerated very quickly. It felt like an eternity but was only a few minutes in which we were catapulted through space to suddenly come to an abrupt halt in front of a door. Dracul was the first to step out onto what seemed like a desert, no, more of a wasteland. Our small group of discoverers travelled for hours until we came upon a camp inhabited by demons getting ready to attack through the portal. Dracul had acquired a map of portals throughout the Universe, which he has told no one how he had acquired it., and by just sheer luck, he aborted the takeover attempt and transported them to a dimension we earthlings like to call Hell. I know this is a vague account of how this all transpired, but trust me, it would bore you to death to hear the full account and take me far to long to explain. Earth actually owes Dracul a big one, and doesn't even have one iota of knowledge about it.
Guarding the portal had become a burden I had to pay for, lets say a punishment for saying inappropriate things to our fearless leader. Days felt like centuries of tedious hours of doing absolutely nothing but standing in front of a door looking important. Countless hours of contemplating the meaning of life or the meaningless of life, defending on the kind of day I was having. It was actually a relief to have these voices in my head, at least I wasn't alone, well I was, but at least it didn't feel that way. On this particular day I was listening to the debate going on between the voices about Quantum physics, which was just boring me to no end, when I caught the hint of an odor that started to grow stronger, an odor that I had dispelled from my memory, but was quickly remembering. I could smell him as he rounded the church.

It was even worse than I expected, it was a Nephlim (half human half demon), you cannot tell them apart from the humans, except for the smell. You know they are close by when you detect the cloying sensation in the back of your throat. I had a cure for that which I had carried for centuries, just in case, its a little blue pill, so I quickly took four. Next thing I knew I'm standing there in shock looking down at this now deceased demon. The only thing I could think of was to report to the mayor, he must inform Dracul and I had to do it quickly, I stepped into the portal and blasted myself back to Transylvania.




Max
Max "my beast 666" Thirsty - 2 years, 9 months, 28 days ago
Max


It was a deperate situation, so I headed for Shullys, I needed a drink. As I rounded Chapman street, the drugs began to kick in. I had to be careful, this was bat country and I couldn't smell a thing. I hate bats. I needed more drugs. I also needed a car. I crossed Chapman and low and behold, a Caddilac, not just any Caddilac, a Caddilac Eldorado. One of the really old ones with the cool fins and the red diamond tail lights. I opened the trunk and it was full of drugs and booze. It looked like this was my lucky day. A hat, not just any hat but one of those thirties hats. My very own detective hat sitting curled up between a pound of hash and a six pack of Coors, so I grabbed the six pack too. In situations like this, you don't fool around.

I cruised through the West End District, sipping on a Coors, and holding on to my hat. Cockeyed glasses hanging off my nose as I hung a quick right and headed over the bypass crossing the stinking Thames, I can't believe they have one here too. A stinking cesspool full of stinking crap is what it is. Dracul built this place so it reminded him of London. Well as far as I was l was concerned, he had the stink down to a science.

I pondered this puzzle for a moment, and the voices decided to join in, Abe as I call him wanted to do more drugs, but I talked him out of it. If I had to put up with the smell, so did he. "As far as l know demons have been extinct on Earth and Transylvania for the past 8 centuries." I said, and the other two started into a three stooges routine that would make Curly proud. Seeing one in the 21st Century, really gave the voices something to talk about. "The alerts are obviously being set off more frequently for some apparent reason, this is not good!" I proclaimed, and shifted into ultra glide.
This was the third time this week somebody has tried to breach the portal. Usually its just fellow vampires out for a little vacation time on Earth. Snacking on mortals is considered a no no these days, but some still find the temptation hard to resist. Our diet mostly consists of the Fae provided by Dracul, they have always had a desire for us, as we them. I was in the mood for a transfusion.
They have a much larger capacity of delectable vitae, known as blood, twice as much as humans, and can't be killed. A more humane choice as a vampire diet I suppose, plus there was an overabundance of Fae here on Transylvania. Transylvania had been discovered back during the 13th Century by Dracul, he was the first to discover the portals between the two dimensions. Dracul decided to make this our home, as vampires were despised on Earth for snacking on mortals, it was considered murder just because of a gluttonous few. Personally, I don't see what the fuss was all about, but Dracul had decided he had had enough, I can imagine its not very much fun, being chased down and having a stake plunge through your heart. Beheading must be a tad uncomfortable too. I myself had been hunted after I was created in my birthplace of Scotland and was more than happy to escape the murderous mobs. Now back to the task at hand, I must think of a way to discover how these demons are coming through the portals. But first I think I need more of those blue pills, things are about to get even more stinky.

The voices cheer at my brilliant observation. Perhaps I should explain these voices a tad before my readers write me off for a lunatic. As you know, us vampires have telepathic abilities, and are able to read the thoughts of humans and fellow vampires. Well in my case, an unfortunate incident occurred while in my first days as a newborn undead. I accidently became overzealous in my newfound hunger and drained three not so very pleasant peers. Unaware of my consequences, I suddenly had sucked out their souls and had them trapped in my mind. So much for the vampires don't have souls theory. I am not exactly sure of the fundamentals of this strange occurrence, but unfortunately I am stuck with them. Its a minor inconvenience and I am learning to acquire understanding of this phenomenon, but for now lets just leave it that, I hear voices. At least I am never alone, haven't decided if that's a bad or good thing yet. They argue amongst themselves mostly, but I'm the one who has to listen to their continuous babble. It drives me insane, which is probably what you think I am. But I am a totally sane individual, at least that's what I keep telling myself as I am standing at the bar drinking Scotch at Shullys, my favorite bar.

Max "my beast 666" Thirsty - 2 years, 9 months, 28 days ago
Max

In actuality, l'm not even suppose to be here, I'm supposed to be guarding the portal in Scotland that links Earths present dimension to Transylvania. I needed help, so I desperately needed to find Scorpious. I had last seen him run off down the alley behind Shullys, So after much confusion and vigorous arguing with my uncooperative egocentric mind pals, I decided Shullys was the best choice to begin my investigation. At first I thought I would find him at his usual table, he wasn't there. Instead of listening to my better judgements; I am sitting at Shullys, drinking watered down Scotch and putting up with his pathetic Zombie jokes. I asked Shully if he had seen him, but he hadn't been seen in weeks. Even his latest romantic endeavor, and I am using the term loosely. lets just say his latest squeeze had not seen him either. So here I am drowning my sorrows, and the Scotch just wasn't solving anything.

The truth be told, l am afraid Scorpious has become a rogue vampire, who at one time was my mentor, sadly, l feel he has been acting at odds with his usual intellectual genius, in other words, he's been chasing ghosts. I have been privy to his usual haunt, so l have become the shadow, and wait. Actually I am just sitting on the curb in front of Shullys, with my head between my hands fighting the urge to cry.

Since l may have a little time, l should formally introduce myself. Not an easy introduction, for l have had many different aliases over the years. So for now, refer to me as Oz. In a way I am like the Wizard of Oz, hiding behind the curtain of time. I feel most at home in the shadows of the night, lurking in the dark passages of Transylvania, not as a predator but more as an observer, placating my insatiable curiosity. I became very efficient and eventually proclaimed myself a detective. I placed an advertisement in the Transylvania Depositer, besides a few jealous Witches wanting to me to hunt down their pandering Warlocks, business was a little non existant. so I took the job presented to me by the illustrious mayor to guard the Portal. The last guard had disappeared, at first I just assumed that the Werewolf had become distracted, you know how they love to chase shiny things. After a little consideration I was starting to think I may have jumped to conclusions. So I hunted down another Werewolf and talked him into taking my place for a few hours, shiny things are abundant so it wasn't all that hard.


Max "my beast 666" Thirsty - 2 years, 9 months, 28 days ago
Max

To be totally honest, my favorite companion Scorpious has just not been himself, his magic had totally gone awry. His disappearances are what concern me most. l feel this may possibly be connected with the disturbance in the dimensions. What kind of detective would l be if l just turned my head the other way, besides he's my best friend. The last time I was with him, he was definitely not himself. he was nervously agitated, and kept babbling something about a Vanilla Queen. I know better than to get sucked into the Scorpious vortex, every time I team up with the fool, it's a disaster , just waiting to happen. Now I'm feeling extremely guilty that I didn't catch on, and take the situation more seriously.

I did what any self absorbed Vampire Detective would do, I walked back into the bar. "Hey Shully, give me another Scotch, l've got a puzzle to solve" I shouted down the bar., Instantly another shot glass flew past me and smashed against the face of this three foot midget Zombie. I did the only thing l could do. I doubled over in laughter.
Looking around the room I could tell the usual crowd was not as amused as l was, something about midgets just make me chuckle, what can l say?

Shully hollered for the payment of the pissy scotch, "Charge the Zombie"
I replied as l turned, and who am I facing, none other than Mayor Velocini. He's this funny looking vampire, who likes to dress as a clown. Its really hard to take him serious when he's making balloon animals. Its actually quite hilarious, because his fangs sometimes pierce the balloon and he just keeps blowing, but to no avail. It sounds like an elephant trumpeting with a lisp. The problem is, he's my direct Superior, and I'm suppose to be guarding the portal. He looked like he was about to have a coronary , and I am remembering the sound he makes blowing up balloons. I think now is a good time to act crazy and apply for disability. " Relax Mayor, I have a really good excuse, and I didn't abandon the portal. I have a werewolf standing guard. " I said while actually realizing, maybe it wasn't a good idea after all to leave a werewolf guarding a portal again, since they have a tendency to disappear. It might have been the look of rage that clued me in. " You left a Werewolf guarding the portal, " he screamed while his eyes bulged profusely. Again reminding me of the elephant noise. Now the voices were even laughing
Max "my beast 666" Thirsty - 2 years, 9 months, 28 days ago
Max

Excuse, excuse, my kingdom for an excuse, I need to get away from the Mayor and I'm coming up blank." Your excellency, I am most fortuitous in my search for your advice, how did you ever find me so fast. " I said with a facetious grin as the light bulb moment appeared out of thin vapour. His stammerous reply confirmed my resolve, I had confused him, and now was the moment to make my escape.

" Where in hades have you been" came a familiar voice through the swinging door. I turned and instantly forgot everything. I am always at a loss for words around Maggie. Ever since we were children she could make me forget my own name in her presence. I still think back to the day when I first met her in the Square at Hermitage castle. Her long black hair and her briliant smile that lights up a room no matter where she goes. Her olive complexion and shapely curves, still leave me tongue tied. So much for my escape, now I'm really screwed. I can't even lie my way out of this one, I have never been able to lie to Maggie. So I do what comes most naturally, I stand there with a blank look on my face and pick my nose. It worked for Jack Sparrow. " You can speak to me again when you can act like a man, " she said as she wheeled and stormed out the door. I did the only thing I could think of, I followed her, and quickly exited stage left to escape from both of them. The mayor just stood there stunned by Maggies sudden out burst, his jaw hanging slack and a traill of drool dripped off of his chin. By the time Maggie had turned to see if I was following, I had slipped into the alley where I had last talked to Scorpious.Upon reaching the back door of Skullys, a glint of shiny caught my eye, I quickly snatched it up without looking, and booked it back to the Cadillac.

Max "my beast 666" Thirsty - 2 years, 9 months, 28 days ago
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Madame Otter
Thank you Max and Moontan for joining my herd! What fun to play word scramble today!
 The beauty within, a Black Rose You have been given The beauty within, a Black Rose.
Crafted by Max
Madame Otter "CandyApple Otter" quiet - 2 days, 20 hrs ago
Moontan
We must start having fun in a new Madamme Otters FUNHOUSE herd HAH :)
A Fun Ride You have been given A Fun Ride.
Crafted by Not so Anonymous
Moontan "Demons wife" Noita-Kallio ROCK - 3 days, 9 hrs ago
Moontan
I have prepared the mysterious colorful Holi powder magical flour for upcoming photoshoots.
It is been like a kind of a bat broth mixing, when I can´t get those ready from here Finland.
I just wonder what a sort of a mess I will get with those??? HAH ;)
I want to learn to use well my flash devices, but I will have to maybe wait when the weather is more dry for that.
I need more high quality pictures for my upcoming website.

Powders of fairy You have been given Powders of fairy.
Crafted by Unknown
Moontan "Demons wife" Noita-Kallio ROCK - 3 days, 9 hrs ago
Moontan
Here, Finland has now published a new book about the phantoms of Finnish hotels, and this Halloween night in Glo Hotel, a dark afraid ghost made calls to a hotel employee who did not believe in ghosts before.
It would be interesting to read that book!
https://www.adlibris.com/fi/kirja/hotellien-henget-9789527100394

A night in the Shining Hotel You have been given A night in the Shining Hotel.
Crafted by Unknown
Moontan "Demons wife" Noita-Kallio ROCK - 3 days, 9 hrs ago
Moontan
I was prepared for the two week-end drama's basics II course by Pete Europa, but he fell ill ( I´m a BIG fan of him) PÖH :(

Maybe it would be a good idea instead of that to visit my Metusalem's dad ????
Coming to See You! You have been given Coming to See You!.
Crafted by Margaret Wilson Sweet bum
Moontan "Demons wife" Noita-Kallio ROCK - 3 days, 9 hrs ago
Moontan
Relaxed Thanksgiving for you! :)
Happy Thanksgiving! You have been given Happy Thanksgiving!.
Crafted by Sevannah
Moontan "Demons wife" Noita-Kallio ROCK - 3 days, 9 hrs ago
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