Illusion

Sometimes the hardest thing is to let go of what your heart longs for
Letting reality sink in and shatter the sweet illusion of love
Rationalizing what would normally would be the sweetest daydream
Knowing it will never be real
Knowing you will never know the truth
Numb and bound by the lies told
Cold and angry at the wounds inflicted
Broken and bleeding I lay down
My life useless and done
My eyes find the sky as I lay there
The lines on my arms turning to blood
The drops soaking the ground beneath me
Will someone save me
I close my eyes
Dreaming of days long past
Hearing songs we once loved
Songs that bring pain
Bitterness and sorrow
Bathing my soul with broken pieces
Shattering my soul
Leaving nothing behind
Knowing he will never love me
Knowing it will never be
Liesel Herrmann "Vampyress Flame" Content - 15 years, 9 months, 22 days ago

Rambling Emotions


Sitting in my chair
Listening to the patter of rain on my window
Staring at the gray skies
My feelings matching that gray
Do I sit here alone?
Or do I find a way to go on with my life?
Will I ever hear his voice again?
Will he ever return to me?
Did he ever love me?
All these questions race through my busy mind
The pathways of my mind have been flooded with memories
Warmth and love
Bitterness and pain
Tears of sorrow flow down my pale cheeks
Showing the pain I felt inside
Would they even know how badly it was pressing on me
The weight of my emotions drowning me
Wouldn't it be simpler to just fade away
Let myself go into that deep abyss of nothingness
Let my body burn and float away on an angry wind
How am I still here
How did I find the strength
The urge to end it is overwhelming
The urge to fight just the same
I want to be numb
I want my wounds to heal
To smile a smile that went all the way through
To take off the mask
Show the world my true self
No longer afraid
No longer living in shame
Can you still see me
Am I worth anything anymore
Fading away seems to be occuring more frequently
Sinking deeper beneath the surface of those emotions
I no longer want to feel for anyone
To feel their pain
Their happiness
It's more then I can bear
Save me
Before I find a way
To leave this world behind
To go to a place where I will feel no pain
Liesel Herrmann "Vampyress Flame" Content - 15 years, 9 months, 26 days ago

Being without you
Feels like an eternal emptiness
Seeing you so happy
Breaks any semblence of calm I've come to feel
Knowing it's time to move on is hard
Knowing what I've lost is agony

But I live with the knowledge that I'm worth something
Sitting around and waiting
Seems like such a waste now
I deserve to feel love
To feel safe

I only need time alone to heal the pieces of my shattered heart
Hoping they will mend enough for me to offer to someone...someday

Every moment it becomes easier to let you go
As the days pass by I know I am okay
Even though you let me go

I never know what the future will bring
But I'm sure that someday I will find happiness
I will find peace
Liesel Herrmann "Vampyress Flame" Content - 15 years, 9 months, 27 days ago

Locking myself up inside my mind.
Thinking of a love that was once mine.
Wondering how I let this happen again.
Wondering if the love I crave will ever really stay.
Do I really need anybody.
Do they really need me.
Should I have given up long ago.
When he left me.
To think I derserve happiness.
I now realize is nothing more then a childish fantasy.

Flesh and bone.
Pain and sorrow.

My blood pools on the floor beneath me.
I see it but nothing registers.

I am numb.
Unfeeling.

It makes a stain.
As the sadness flows from me.
Was I ever even considered worthy.
So here I sit.
Ready to let him take me.
I smile because I know.
He will never forget me.
The pain seeps out.
Like the blood on the floor.
And I close my eyes.
And I feel no more.
Forever locked in his cold embrace.
Funny that it would be with death that I finally feel safe.
He kisses my brow and tells me it'll be okay.
That he loves me.
That there will be no more pain.
As I fade into icy nothingness.
I dream of him one last time.
Was I ever worthy enough to love him.
Will he forget me in time.
My world fades to black.
As the last drop falls.
Spilling my worthless life bare for them all to see.
For them to judge.
Was she worthy?
Liesel Herrmann "Vampyress Flame" Content - 15 years, 10 months, 6 days ago

'Let me rest in Peace' [Buffy the Vampire Slayer]

SPIKE:
I died
So many years ago
But you can make me feel
Like it isn't so
And why you come to be with me
I think I finally know
Mhhh

You're scared
Ashamed of what you feel
And you can't tell the ones you love
You know they couldn't deal
Whisper in a dead man's ear,
That doesn't make him real

That's great -
But I don't wanna play
'cause being with you touches me
More than I can say
But since I'm only dead to you
I'm saying stay away
And let me rest in peace

Let me rest in peace
Let me get some sleep
Let me take my love and bury it
In a hole six foot deep
I can lay my body down
But I can't find my sweet release
So let me rest in peace

You know
You got a willing slave
And you just love to play the thought
That you might misbehave
But 'till you do
I'm telling you
Stop visiting my grave
And let me rest in peace

I know I should go
But I follow you like a man possessed
There's a traitor here beneath my breast
And it hurts me more than you've ever guessed
If my heart could beat, it would break my chest
But I can see you aren't impressed
So leave me be

And let me rest in peace
Let me get some sleep
Let me take my love and bury it
In a hole six foot deep
I can lay my body down
But I can't find my sweet release
Let me rest in peace
Why won't you let me rest in peace?

(spoken)
So...you're not staying then?


Liesel Herrmann "Vampyress Flame" Content - 15 years, 10 months, 21 days ago