The rest of the world cannot understand how, after bitter election campaigns, American politicians can return to reality.

For instance, Sarah Palin has invited to her great state of Alaska the men who defeated her, Barack Obama and Joe Biden. She has provided a moose hunting trip for their enjoyment and has hired two other prominent men to assist them. Dick Cheney will instruct them in safe gun handling and Ted Kennedy will drive them back to their cabins in the evening.

WHAT A GAL.
That Sarah is such a sport and thinks of everything.


Unknown "SultryGirl (NFS)" Ecstatic - 15 years, 11 months, 13 days ago

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life. Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear fender of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse! Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals. A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hang-e-down thingy and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life. The moral of the story? (yep, you betcha, there is a moral!)

'When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks'


Unknown "SultryGirl (NFS)" Ecstatic - 16 years, 1 month, 26 days ago

NO SPEAKAH DE ENGLISH

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

'Emma come First. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more! Two asses, They come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one Lasta Time.'

The lady can't take this any more, 'You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig.' She Retorted indignantly. 'In this country, we don't speak aloud on Public Places about our sex lives.'

'Hey, coola down lady, ' said the man. 'Who talkin'abouta sex? I'm a Justa Tellin my frienda how to spell ' Mississippi ','

$5.00 says you're gonna read this again!

Unknown "SultryGirl (NFS)" Ecstatic - 16 years, 1 month, 26 days ago

Flat Stomach
A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him.. The son sees his mom and asks, 'What were you and Dad doing?' The mother replies, 'Well, you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it and help flatten it..' 'Your wasting your time,' said the boy. 'Why is that?' the mom asked puzzled. 'Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up.'
Unknown "SultryGirl (NFS)" Ecstatic - 16 years, 1 month, 26 days ago

As a woman passes her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within.

Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked: "What in the world are you doing?" The daughter replied: "mom, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. please, go away and leave me alone."

The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator. To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said: "Dad I'm thirty-five, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. please, go away and leave me alone."

A couple days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the living room. She entered that area and observed her husband sitting on the couch, downing a cold beer, and staring at the tv. The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy.

The wife asked: "What the hell are you doing?"

The husband replied: "I'm watching football with my son-in-law."
Unknown "SultryGirl (NFS)" Ecstatic - 16 years, 7 months, 21 days ago