mwahahahahaha, someone has foolishly provided me with a space in which to ramble (this is usually a bad plan) and not only that but they called it a tale - which is obviously asking me to write a story.....

before i begin i would like to add this disclaimer:
by reading futher than this line you are accepting that most words ending with ing shall from now on be spelt ign, also other words may have the letters in not quite the correct order i.e like may be spelt liek, this is due to the nature of keyboards and the fact that some of my fingers type faster than the others and is in no way the responsibility of the author (apart from that they're my fingers, but lets just brush over that).

Once upon a time (all good stories should start liek this) that time being 21.00 on a sunday afternoon, a man whom for the purposes of this story shall be known only as Jeff (his name was also Jeff but thats just a coincidence) was watchign the television.

The television was also watchign Jeff, in a bizzare game of cat and mouse, the tv was currently lurkign behind a small panda, and jeff was crouched behind the couch, occasionally glancing out to check on what the tv was up to now.

Jeff sneaked his head out from behind the cushions and tried to look casual as he eyed up his enemy, the tv shared none of this subtly and growled menacingly (scarign the panda and causing it to jump out of the window into a helpfully placed swimming pool, i'm not sure if pandas can swim generally but this particular one was wearign armbands/ waterwings so he was ok - no need to worry about him).

This standoff had been goign for 3 days now, since a week last tuesday, and the both participants were gettign a little tense. As the tv growled, jeff quickly retraced his head, he knew that he was goign to have to do soemthign and soon. He looked around for a weapon, over the past couple of days he'd been developign quite a cache of arms, maybe one of those would do....

The tv seemed to grow suspcious, static flickered across its screen and it edged backwards towards the cabinet, still growling, low and monotone....

Jeff knew that he had to act soon, for one thign he was hungry and for another he had missed the last 4 episodes of coronation street and it was makign him kind of twitchy. He picked up a nearby arm - this particular arm had once belonged to a bellydancer and was ladened with gold bracelets, which added to its suitability as a weapon - and he charged!!!

......

(i have deemed the line above to be too violent and so have placed only dot's there, you'll need to use your imagination about the combat. It basically consists of a hungry man beatign a tv about the screen and connectors with the arm of a (possibly) dead belldancer...)

At last, it was over, tired and bleeding Jeff sat atop the crumpled ruins of the tv, shattered glass littering the floor around him, the stench of phospher and photons in the air. He knew that he would have to miss Corrie again at least for today, but tomorrow he could nip to Dixons and get himself a new television and sky + then never again would he miss an episode.

First thign first though, Jeff was hungry, he set off to the kitchen to make himself a tv dinner - a fitting feast after his epic battle.

The microwave eyed Jeff suspiciously........

to be continued?
Unknown Curious - 15 years, 9 months, 6 days ago