Lately I have been debating on trying another biking trip...
Matthew Walker "*Knighteous**" Lazy - 15 years, 4 months, 2 days ago

So my former owner dropped me as a pet, and then blocked me....what the hell gives?
Matthew Walker "*Knighteous**" Lazy - 15 years, 8 months, 27 days ago

Is it sad that the only song I have ever managed to identify with is "Creep"?
Matthew Walker "*Knighteous**" Lazy - 15 years, 10 months, 13 days ago

I know I barely get on this anymore, but, as I am for sale, please, buy me! I sell for fairly cheap here!
Matthew Walker "*Knighteous**" Lazy - 15 years, 10 months, 26 days ago

Beauty is a character trait that truly bothers me. Why is this? Look at it's track record. It breeds violence, hate, misery, death. Yet in of itself, beauty is good. There is nothing but purity within the trait itself, it is people who corrupt it. So the idea, is both attraction and anathema to me.

But it means everything to the rest of the world. Take Twilight, for example. I just recently saw this movie, and will likely read the books. The main theme in it is the romance between two characters, Bella & Edward. Yet the idea has a superficial draw. Edward is regarded as this beautiful vampire, a trait that all vampires share in this particular fiction. This is the draw for too many people (mainly girls) to it. Because for most of society, the emphasis of having this amazing lover that is as hot as he is devoted is great. I watched this movie and listened afterwards to the girls I was with wax on about how gorgeous the main character was (as was needed for the film).

I brood endlessly about this particular theme because it surrounds me, eclipses me. No matter where I turn, I can't escape it, no matter how badly I want to. Even within my own heart, it stirs its malcontent and forces me to fight myself. Although I abandoned hatred for anyone years ago, I have a seething malevolence boiling for most beauty that is a black stain upon my personality.

Which leads me to an important note on why I am spilling all of this out. For this matter, I have an incredible aberrance girls that are hot, sexy, whatever the society term for them might be at the time. I realize there are always exceptions to rules, but almost every girl I have ever met that is beautiful follows the same path in the end (and there are oh so many from my history). They are corrupt, or dumb, or conceit owns them, or at the very least, they waltz in my life expecting me to bow down like most men do, and in the end, are just as easily distracted by the next male that comes around.

Admittedly, it isn't fair for me to saying this, but in a way, isn't it? We all live by the personal experiences that shape us, I am no exception. The only girls that ever remain anything loyal to me or care for me are the ones whose inner beauty overshadows their physical being. The rules of attraction remain though, no matter how many times I want it to go away. I am bound by the price of flesh just as much as anyone else, and this war is tiresome. For this reason, frequently, I just do not care to be around the company of people. This game is destructive, and I would rather smash the pieces, the board, and the rules can be damned to hell.
Matthew Walker "*Knighteous**" Lazy - 16 years, 2 days ago