Vampire Jokes :

Why did the vampire attack the clown? He wanted the circus to be in his blood.

Did you hear about the vampire who had an eye for the ladies? He used to keep it in his back pocket.

What is Dracula''s favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.

When the picture of the vampire''s grandmother crashed to the floor in the middle of the night what did it mean? That the nail had come out of the wall.

What is a vampire''s favourite soup ?Scream of mushroom !
Unknown Playful - 16 years, 4 months, 27 days ago

Blonde Jokes :

Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?
A: Shine a torch in her ears.

Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.

Q1 How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.

Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's writing on the white-out.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.

Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?
A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9.

Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!

Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.

Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
Unknown Playful - 16 years, 4 months, 27 days ago

Burger Jokes :

Are hamburgers male?Yes, because they''re boygers, not girlgers!
Can a hamburger marry a hot dog?Only if they have a very frank relationship!

Burger jokes', 'Can you name two burgers who are royalty?Sir Loin and Burger King!

Do hamburgers make good vampires? No, because they always find themselves in ghoulash situations!

Do they really serve burgers in Transylvania?Very rare-ly.
Unknown Playful - 16 years, 4 months, 27 days ago

Angry Gamer -

http://www.jibjab.com/view/199688
Unknown Playful - 16 years, 4 months, 27 days ago

Microsoft Heaven

Bill Gates died in a car accident. He found himself in Purgatory
being sized up by God...

"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure
whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously
helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the
world and yet you created that ghastly Windows 95. I'm going to do
something I've never done before. In your case, I'm going to let
you decide where you want to go!"

Bill replied, "Well, thanks, God. What's the difference between
the two?"

God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly if it
will help you make a decision."

"Fine, but where should I go first?"

God said, "I'm going to leave that up to you."

Bill said, "OK, then, let's try Hell first." So Bill went to Hell.

It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters.

There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in
the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and
the temperature was perfect.

Bill was very pleased. "This is great!" he told God, "If this is
Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!"

"Fine," said God and off they went.

Heaven was a high place in the clouds, with angels drifting about
playing harps and singing. It was nice but not as enticing as
Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute and rendered his decision.
"Hmm, I think I prefer Hell," he told God.

"Fine," retorted God, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell.

Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire
to see how he was doing in Hell. When God arrived in Hell, he
found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in
a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons. "How's
everything going, Bill?" God asked.

Bill responded - his voice full of anguish and disappointment,
"This is awful, this is not what I expected. I can't believe this
happened. What happened to that other place with the beaches and
the beautiful women playing in the water?"

God says, "Ah! That was the screen saver."
Unknown Playful - 16 years, 4 months, 27 days ago