Coca-Cola has reported a huge fourth quarter profit of 79%.
[Management issued a thank you letter to all the company's hardworking
employees and a very special thank you to Amy Winehouse for finishing
off so many rum and cokes.]

In central England authorities are looking for a would-be copper thief
who got the shock of his life when he tried to hacksaw his way through
a live 11,000 volt power cable. [He has the same look on his face as
Hillary Clinton after the last round of primaries.]

Researchers now say that contrary to popular belief reaching 100 years
of age is easier than you would think. [Unless you forget to buy
something for Valentine's.]

Four people, including a US defense official, have been arrested for
spying for China. [One of the suspects includes the same guy who used
to steal signals for the New England Patriots.]
Unknown "MeinKumpel" Sexy - 17 years, 20 days ago

Paul McCartney and Heather Mills returned to court on Monday in an
attempt to agree on terms for their divorce. [They finally decided it
wasn't really fair that Paul got to keep Heather's prosthetic leg.]
Unknown "MeinKumpel" Sexy - 17 years, 20 days ago

American Idol has trimmed the competition to 24 semifinalists. [That's
potential dates for Paula, not contestants.]

In Mexico the world's fattest man announced that he's dropped 570
pounds. Of course, he still weighs 600. [What do you say to a guy who
still weighs 600 pounds? "You look fantastic! I Hardly recognized you
now that you can almost fit on the couch."]
Unknown "MeinKumpel" Sexy - 17 years, 20 days ago

A West Virginia robbery suspect tried to hide his face with a pair of
underwear. Witnesses still figured out who he was. [See, sewing your name on the elastic really does work]
Unknown "MeinKumpel" Sexy - 17 years, 20 days ago

LOVE VOTE 2008

For the second year in a row, Citytv's morning man Andrew Schultz and the Love Vote have officially taken the city's singles scene by storm.

Yesterday marked Day 2 of Breakfast Television's week-long match-making extravaganza, and the competition is heating up.

Five single women and five single men were slated to show up at Kane's Harley Diner bright and early Monday morning.

But one bachelor bailed and left bachelorette No. 5 -- Miss Carrie Eastman -- devastatingly dateless.

But fear not, romance-loving reader, because at the Chinook Bowladrome on Day 2, not one but TWO bachelors showed up to win Carrie's heart and take her for a ride on the love boat.

Scott Greer of L.A. (Lethbridge, Alta.) showed up in his best "Playboy Mansion Bouncer" T-shirt, while a strapping Brad Caldwell just brought his winning grin.

A bowl-off ensued, with the king of the five pins earning the right to carry on and escort Carrie on the week-long BT Valentine adventure.

Alas, it was Brad who came out on top, and poor Scott who was sent packing.But it doesn't stop there. All five couples are competing for your votes. Elimination begins today. Watch the Love Vote all morning on BT, then go to www.citytv.com/calgary and vote for your favourite couple.\
Unknown "MeinKumpel" Sexy - 17 years, 22 days ago