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Strange Paul | HumanPets.com - Free online hangout and friends
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Deathly Dita
Deathly Dita owns this human at 50 points.
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strangely wonderful
Strange Paul
Strange Paul
"Strange beats"



Name:
Strange Paul, 53/Male
Last login: over 3 weeks ago
Local time:7:21 PM
Join date:11 years, 9 months, 10 days ago
Location: Taunton United Kingdom

"Slicker than Oiled Ice........!"
About me:
About you:
I would like to meet other interesting people. I Dj a bit so any new tunes/ mixes send them my way and I promise to listen and comment on them. I am always looking to meet individuals who are a little bit different. People who enjoy the wind in their hair, the power of a wave, the rush of excitment on the dancefloor, people who have already discovered who/what they are and wan't to add to the community in a nice way and are prepared to help and share their wisdom with the rest of the world. If you fit this profile, message me, leave a comment, whatever. Thats it. Have a super day and a good life. Respect and good Karma to you all. lol Strange Paul. Looking for:
Friendship
Orientation: Straight
Herds: Sex Kittens, The King's Love Shack, Shop Advertisments, SHOPAHOLICS ANONYMOUS, ♥ ♥ Cindy's Spam~a~rama ♥ ♥, Have You, HP Moderators, HPs Hottest, Customization Organization, The Herd of Fabulous Shops, XXX ADULTS ONLY, Best Chests!
Here there and everywhere
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Strange's tales
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Strange Paul



A man wakes up one morning and goes downstairs to see his wife over the cooker with a frying pan in her hand. When he gets closer he see's one of his socks in the pan.
"What are you doing"? asks the man, his wife replies "exactly what you asked me to do when you rolled in drunk last night"
How strange thought the man, I don't remember asking her to cook my sock.
Strange Paul "Strange beats" strangely wonderful - 5 years, 12 months, 2 days ago
Strange Paul




1) You can't count your hair.


2) You can't wash your eyes with soap.


3) You can't breathe when your tongue is out.


Put your tongue back in your mouth, you silly person.


Ten (10) Things I know about you.


1) You are reading this.


2) You are human.


3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your
Lips.


4) You just attempted to do it.


6) You are laughing at yourself.


7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.


8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.


9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person and everyone like that laughs at it too.


10) You are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it.


You have received this e-mail because I didn't want to be alone in the idiot category.


"Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many."




Strange Paul "Strange beats" strangely wonderful - 6 years, 7 months, 24 days ago
Strange Paul



My thoughts are with the bastard deer that jumped in front of my friends car causing him to swerve off the road wrecking the car (just now).....(he's ok..phew) look all you woodland creatures.. we are trying to help you....for goodness fxxcking sake at least use the highway code or don't keep blaming us for running over you.....get a fxxking wildlife you hairy xxxxxxxx and stop looking so cute and bloody innocent like its our fault your in the middle of a fxxking road...nuff said!!!!
Strange Paul "Strange beats" strangely wonderful - 7 years, 7 months, 18 days ago
Strange Paul


read this and thought it was worth sharing....
Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!! A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer. The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...?? WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another. The directions said that: a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily controland a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best. I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and... HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!! I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was
#T????c??; _???_?_?/?: making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room. Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution: There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. - The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. - My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. - My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. - I had no control over the drooling. - Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone. - I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair. - I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return! PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it.

Top class...........

Strange Paul "Strange beats" strangely wonderful - 7 years, 11 months, 23 days ago
Strange Paul



A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice,

God said, 'because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'

God replied, 'Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific

and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.

Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'

The biker thought about it for a long time.

Finally, he said, 'God, I wish that I, and all men, could understand women;

I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries,

what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.

God replied: 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge...?"
Strange Paul "Strange beats" strangely wonderful - 8 years, 10 days ago
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