Some not too smart gangsters decide to rob a bank. After several days of planning they agree on the best plan. The next day they get to work and are able to get into the bank relatively easy thanks to their planning.

Once inside the main vault they discover one wall is full of safety deposit boxes and start to work on them immediately. They drill and pry open the first box only to find a small container of vanilla pudding inside.

The Head Gangster says:
"Okay, well, at least we can eat it."

So they eat the pudding. They drill and pry open up the second Safety deposit box and there sits another pudding. They decide to devour it too.

Determined to find the goods, the process continues for the rest of the night until all the safety deposit boxes have been opened. They didn't find any money or jewelry in any of the boxes.

Disappointed the head gangster said:
"Well, at least they left something for us to eat"

The next day, while listening to the news they hear:
"Yesterday the largest sp-erm bank in the USA was robbed by an unknown group of people."
Unknown "beloved" Hungry - 16 years, 5 months, 13 days ago

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan? (anyone)
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.


Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!


Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?


Caller: I'm Sam Wan (someone) And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.


Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's
this urgent matter about?


Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noel Wan ( no one ) was
involved in an accident. Noel Wan got injured and now Noel Wan is being

sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.


Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then
the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't

have time for this!


Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?


Operator: I'm Saw Lee. (sorry)


Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!
Unknown "beloved" Hungry - 16 years, 5 months, 13 days ago

A Primary School teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The
teacher asked, "Harry, what is your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the Primary 1. My sister is in Primary 3
and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in Primary 3 too!"

The teacher took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the
outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.
The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed
to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the Primary 1, and
behave. The teacher agreed. Harry was brought in. The conditions were
explained, and Harry agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9"

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
H! arry: "36"

And so it went with every question the principal thought a Primary 1
student should know.

The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Harry can go to Primary 3."

The teacher says to the principal, "May I ask him some tougher questions?"
The principal and Harry both agree.

Teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two?"
Harry: "Legs."

Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" (The
principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!)
Harry: "Pockets."

Teacher: "What does a dog do when a man steps in?"
Harry: "Pants."

Teacher: "What starts with a C and ends with a T, and it is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?" (The principal's eyes open
really wide and before he could stop the answer...)
Harry: "Coconut."

Teacher: "What goes in hard ! and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
Harry: "Bubblegum."

Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and
dog do
on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."

Teacher: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?"

Teacher: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up.
I get wet before you do." Who am I?
Harry: "A Tent."

Teacher: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The
best man always has me first." What am I? (Principal was looking restless
and a bit tense)
Harry: "A Wedding Ring."

Teacher: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow
me, I feel good." What am I?
Harry: "A Nose."

Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a
quiver." What am I?
Harry: "An Arrow."

Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot
of excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put this
*** in Primary 6! I got the last 10 questions all wrong myself."
Unknown "beloved" Hungry - 16 years, 5 months, 13 days ago

A Japanese man was in a hurry to go to the KLIA airport, so he took a Proton taxi. The taxi driver took his sweet time driving within the speed limit but the Jap was getting impatient.

The following is their conversation on the way to the airport.

A Toyota Camry overtook t he taxi.....zoom....

Jap: Look ...look ...Toyota!! ...very fast!!!.... made in Japan!
Proton...no good.... made in Malaysia .

Driver: yah....

After a few minutes a Nissan overtook the taxi....zoom.

Jap: look.... look.... Nissan!!!..... very good!! very fast! made in Japan! Proton.... no good.... made in Malaysia

Driver: yah....yah...

After a few minutes a Honda overtook the taxi...zooom. !

Jap: look.... look... Honda!!.... very GOOD!!....very fast!!....made
in Japan! Proton...no good...made in Malaysia

Driver: yah...yah...yah....!

Arriving at the airport,the Jap is about to pay the taxi driver.

Jap: How much?

Driver: RM150/-

Jap: Oh... very expensive..... you overcharge ! !

Driver: Noooo .... look .... look .... Sony meter!!....very good!!....
very fast!.... Made in Japan!
Unknown "beloved" Hungry - 16 years, 5 months, 13 days ago

The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge. Each organ took a turn to speak up:

Brain........ I should be in charge because I run all body functions.
Blood........ I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain.
Stomach... I should be in charge because I process food to the brain.
Legs......... I should be in charge because I take the brain where it wants to go.
Eyes......... I should be in charge because I let the brain see where it's going.
Arsehole.....I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste.

All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the arsehole very mad. To prove his point, the arsehole immediately slammed tightly closed and stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.

Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief
Day 2 - Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly
Day 3 - Legs got cramps and became unstable
Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred
Day 5 - Blood became toxic and poisoned the body
Day 6 - The other organs agreed to let the arse be in charge.

*MORAL OF THE STORY: NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE ARSEHOLE THAT IS IN CHARGE*
Unknown "beloved" Hungry - 16 years, 5 months, 13 days ago