Courtroom Quotations
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity.
◦Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
◦Witness: "By death."
◦Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
◦Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
◦Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
◦Witness: "Yes."
◦Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
◦Witness: "I forget."
◦Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten
◦Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
◦Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
◦Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
◦Witness: "Forty-five years."
◦Lawyer: "Sir, what is your IQ?"
◦Witness: "Well, I can see pretty well, I think."
Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
Lawyer: "Do you have any children or anything of that kind?"
Lawyer: "You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?"
◦Lawyer: "How many times have you committed suicide?"
◦Witness: "Four times."
Unknown "Weekend Paradise" Carefree
- 16 years, 1 month, 17 days ago
