Three Vampires


Three vampires were on a tree, each bragging about being the best vampire of the three. All of the sudden, Vampire A flew away and came back within 10 seconds. His mouth was so full with fresh blood, excess of the blood were dripping from his mouth.

Vampire A : "You see that house?"

Vampire B : "Ya I saw."

Vampire C : "Ya I saw."

Vampire A : "I sucked all their blood."

Vampire B then flew out of the tree, and came back in 5 seconds. Blood dripped from his mouth too.

Vampire B : "You see that village?"

Vampire A : "Ya I saw."

Vampire C : "Ya I saw."

Vampire B : "I sucked all their blood."

Vampire C then flew out of the tree, and came back in 2 seconds. Blood dripped not only from his mouth too, but was also all over his face.

Vampire C : "You see that tree there?"

Vampire A : "Ya I saw."

Vampire B : "Ya I saw."

Vampire C : "I didn't."

Unknown "My kevin♥" Wild - 15 years, 4 months, 28 days ago

A couple had been married for 50 years.

They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when
the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here
at this breakfast table together.'

'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked
as a jaybird fifty years ago.'

'Well,' Granny snickered. 'Let's relive some old times.'

Whereupon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.

'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied,
'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.'

'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps.
'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal.'

Unknown "My kevin♥" Wild - 15 years, 4 months, 28 days ago

hmmm...read about this joke in an article, so decided to post it. well, i think most or some of you might have read about this joke, or this joke have been posted here before. but heck. XD

One day, a man died and went to hell. He met with the devil, and the devil said that he would bring him around hell and the man gotta choose which torture he wanna go through for a thousand years. Terrified, the man had no choice but to follow. The devil brought him to places like the lake of fire, where souls are being thrown into, demons using pitch forks to stab souls, souls having their tongue ripped out by demons. The man is so scared as the more he see, the more gross the station becomes. Until the devil brought him into a room where a hot young blonde is performing a hot blowjob to a fat, smelly and beer drinking man. He thought: 'wow, i wouldnt mind being the guy!' So he told the devil that he wanted to stay in that station. Stunned, the devil looked at him and said: 'You sure?' The man replied: 'Well of course!' Thus, the devil and the man went in, and the devil told the hot blonde: 'alright, you may go now. I've found a replacement fer you.'

i really feel sorry fer that guy...RIP.

Unknown "My kevin♥" Wild - 15 years, 4 months, 28 days ago

His name is Charles...... Charles Sng....

Unknown "My kevin♥" Wild - 15 years, 4 months, 28 days ago

A social worker was visiting one of his elderly clients,Mrs Smith,at her

house.While sitting at the coffee table,the social worker notices a bowl of

almonds on the table."Mind if I have some?"asks the social worker.

"Not at all.Have as many as you like."

After a few hours the social worker looks at his watch and was alarmed at

how long he has been visiting.

He says to Mrs Smith,"Oh my goodness,look at the time.I must be going.Oh,but

dear me,I've eaten all your almonds.I'll have to replace them next time I

visit."

To which Mrs Smith replied,"Oh don't bother.Ever since I lost all my

teeth,all i can do is just lick the chocolate off them."

Unknown "My kevin♥" Wild - 15 years, 4 months, 28 days ago