The next time someone asks you a dumb question, wouldn't you like to respond
like this?
Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog
at Wal-Mart and was about to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant?
So since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I
didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. Although I
probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd
lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming
out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or
two every time you feel hungry and that the f ood is nutritionally complete so I
was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in
the line was by now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food
poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt
and a car hit us both!
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing
so hard! The lady behind him was crying as she laughed. WAL-MART won't let me
shop there anymore.
Joseph Renard "Shiro Kuma" Ecstatic
- 16 years, 9 months, 1 day ago
