A boy and his father were playing ball in the front yard when the boy saw a honeybee. He ran over and stomped it.

"Don't do that, that was a honeybee," his father said, "he wasn't doing anything to you. For killing him you will do without honey for a week."

Later the boy saw a butterfly, so he ran over and stomped on it.

"That was a butterfly," his father said, "he wasn't doing anything to you, and for killing him you will do without butter for a week."

The next morning the family sat down for breakfast. The boy eating his toast plain with no honey or butter.

Suddenly a cockroach ran out from under the stove. His mother stomped on it.

The boy looked at his father and said, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or should I?"

Unknown "Alex!" Content - 16 years, 6 months, 3 days ago

One day a college professor was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and asked if anyone in the class was a moron, and if they were, they should stand.

After a minute a young man stood up. The professor then asked the kid if he actually thought he was a moron. The kid replied, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."

Unknown "Alex!" Content - 16 years, 6 months, 3 days ago

The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weary Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues, or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises. Take two good friends to the nearest grocery store and purchase one or both of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system. You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.
Unknown "Alex!" Content - 16 years, 6 months, 3 days ago

A man walks out of a bar totally hammered, only to be greeted by a snobby woman. She takes one look at him.

"You, sir, are drunk!"

"And you ma'am, are ugly. But when I wake up, I will be sober!"
Unknown "Alex!" Content - 16 years, 10 months, 28 days ago

Teacher: "Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"

Little Johnny: "None."

Teacher: "Listen carefully: Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"

Little Johnny: "None."

Teacher: "Can you explain that answer?"

Little Johnny: "One is shot, the others fly away. There are none left."

Teacher: "Well, that isn't the correct answer, but I like the way you think"

Little Johnny: "Teacher, can I ask a question?"

Teacher: "Sure."

Little Johnny: "There are three women at the ice cream parlor. One is licking, one is biting and one is sucking her ice cream cone. Which one is married?"

Teacher: "The one sucking the cone."

Little Johnny; "No. The one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you think."

Unknown "Alex!" Content - 16 years, 10 months, 28 days ago