THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes everything you are not.
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss, But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.
I thought that I could love no other -- that is until I met your brother.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
I want to feel your sweet embrace; But don't take that paper bag off your face.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for you no words can tell, Except for maybe "Go to hell."
What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime. Unknown"Nats Sweety(NFS)"Naughty
- 10 years, 9 months, 23 days ago
Repost in your tales with your answers......
Yes or No 1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No! 2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages or comments you and Asks!
Now, here's what you're supposed to do... And please do not spoil the Fun. Copy and paste this into your tales, delete my answers and type in your answers. Then see what happens.
Kissed anyone one of your HP friends? No Been arrested? No Kissed someone you didn't like? Yes Slept in until 5 PM? No Fallen asleep at work/school? Yes Held a snake?Yes Ran a red light? No Been suspended from school? No Totaled your car/motorbike in an accident? No Been fired from a job? No Sang karaoke? No Done something you told yourself you wouldn*t? Yes Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Yes Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes Kissed in the rain? Yes Sang in the shower? Yes Sat on a rooftop? Yes Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? Yes Broken a bone? No Shaved your head? No Blacked out from drinking? No Played a prank on someone? Yes Felt like killing someone? Yes Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? Yes Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? No Been in a band? No Shot a gun? Yes Tripped on mushrooms? No Donated Blood? No Eaten alligator meat? Yes Eaten cheesecake? Yes Still love someone you shouldn't? No Think about the future? Yes Believe in love? Yes Sleep on a certain side of the bed? Yes Unknown"Nats Sweety(NFS)"Naughty
- 10 years, 9 months, 24 days ago
STOP CHOKING - AUSSIE STYLE
A woman sitting in an Adelaide Pub suddenly began to cough.
After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress and two locals, Bluey and Bazza sitting at the next table turned to look at her.
Ken ya swaller? asked Bluey
The woman signalled 'No!', desperately shaking her head.
Kin ya breathe?' asked Bazza. The woman shook her head No!!!
With that, Bluey walked behind her, lifted up the back of her dress, yanked down her knickers and ran his tongue up and down the crack of her butt.
This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again.
Bluey swaggered back to his table and took a deep swig of his beer.
Bazza said in admiration 'Ya know Bluey, I'd heard of that bloody Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but that's the first time I ever seen somebody do it.' Unknown"Nats Sweety(NFS)"Naughty
- 10 years, 10 months, 7 days ago