Happy Holidays to all! :)
Unknown "la gata" Content - 15 years, 4 months, 12 days ago

A Mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting = married within = a
short time = period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life
would get = started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the
honeymoon with a = few words on how marital sex felt.

The first daughter sent a card from Hawaii = two days after the wedding.
The card said nothing but "Nescafe". Mom was = puzzled at first, but then
went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe = jar. It said: "Good till the
last drop." Mom blushed, but was pleased for = her daughter.

The second daughter sent = the card from Vermont a week after the wedding
and the card read: "Benson & Hedges". Mom = now knew to go straight to her
husband's cigarettes, and she read from the = Benson & Hedges package
"Extra
Long. King Size". She was again slightly = embarrassed but still happy for
her daughter.

The third daughter left for her honeymoon in = the Caribbean. Mom waited
for a week......... Nothing. Another week = went by and still nothing. Then
after a whole month, a card finally arrived. = Written on it with shaky
handwriting were the words "BWIA".

Mom took out her latest Guardian magazine, = flipped through the pages
fearing the worst, and finally found the ad = for BWIA. The ad said: "Three
times a day, seven days a week, both = ways."

Mom fainted.
Unknown "la gata" Content - 15 years, 4 months, 12 days ago

Apparently this is a standard procedure all paramedics follow at the scene of an accident when they come across your cell phone.

ICE - 'In Case of Emergency'

We all carry our mobile phones with names & numbers stored in its memory but nobody, other than ourselves, knows which of these numbers belong to our closest family or friends.

If we were to be involved in an accident or were taken ill, the people attending us would have our mobile phone but wouldn't know who to call. Yes, there are hundreds of numbers stored but which one is the contact person in case of an emergency? Hence the 'ICE' (In Case of Emergency) Campaign.
The concept of 'ICE' is catching on quickly. It is a method of contact during emergency situations. As cell(mobile)phones are carried by the majority of the population, all you need to do is store the number of a contact person or persons who should be contacted during emergency under the name 'ICE' ( In Case Of Emergency).
The idea was thought up by a paramedic who found that when he went to the scenes of accidents, there were always mobile phones with patients, but they didn't know which number to call.. He therefore thought that it would be a good idea if there was a nationally recognized name for this purpose. In an emergency situation, Emergency Service personnel and hospital Staff would be able to quickly contact the right person by simply dialing the number you have stored as 'ICE.'
For more than one contact name simply enter ICE1, ICE2 and ICE3 etc.

A great idea that will make a difference!

Let's spread the concept of ICE by storing an ICE number in our Mobile phones today!

Please forward this. It won't take too many 'forwards' before everybody will know about this. It really could save your life, or put a loved one's mind at rest.

ICE will speak for you when you are not able to.

Unknown "la gata" Content - 15 years, 5 months, 8 days ago

While walking through Golden Gate Park in San Francisco , a man came upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree. Seeing this he inquired, "Just out of curiosity, what are you doing?"

"I'm listening to the music of the tree," the other man replied.

"You've gotta be kiddin' me."

"No, would you like to give it a try?"

Understandably curious, the man says, "Well, OK..." So he wrapped his arms around the tree and pressed his ear up against it. With this, the other guy slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his wallet, watch, car keys, then stripped him naked and left.

Two hours later another nature lover strolled by, saw this guy handcuffed to the tree stark naked, and asked, "What happened to you?"

He told the guy the whole terrible story about how he got there. When he finished his story, the other guy shook his head in sympathy, walked around behind him, kissed him gently behind the ear and said, "This just ain't gonna be your day, cupcake..."
Unknown "la gata" Content - 15 years, 5 months, 12 days ago

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.
They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, 'Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building.'

The Mexican opened his lunch box and Exclaimed,' Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too.'

The blonde opened his lunch and said, ' Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too.'


The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, 'If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!'

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, 'I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much.'

(Oh this is GOOD)?

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,

'Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch.'

Unknown "la gata" Content - 15 years, 5 months, 15 days ago