you don't know....
somebody's aching.. keeping it all in...
somebody won't let go of his heart but the truth is...
its painless.. letting your love show....
break down...give me sometime..
i don't want the fear to confuse ya...
rightnow,its so wrong.. but maybe its all in the future with...
someone like you..
stand still.. breath in...
maybe truth...maybe lies... made me want you..
maybe dumb, maybe wise..?? i don't know..
somebodys hurting...holding it all in...
letting your love show, love show...
Unknown Loving - 16 years, 1 month, 8 days ago

ah, starting to stressin up, next whole week is holiday, for raya. and we wasted 1week of class. we need to push ourself more to do our final collection. i hope i can do it better than the previous one. ah. it just too much expectation. and need alot of patience.

i used to think that, i doesnt wana start to work, workin life its so not fun, while im studying, if i got chance,of course gonna choose further studies, but things changed, it just because environment... surrounding... thingsss..... around me.... like.... everyone change,i don know im the one who changed, or .... all of them.. or just cycle of life....? ppl grow up,thgs will change...

for now, i feel like money is really matter, without money i really cant do anything, i donwana be useless, i mean not to say without money is useless, it just.. u cant get what u wan and u need something, u just cant have the "power" to get it... and u have to earn byurself, and i cant wait to earn by myself.. andi wanted to start to work.. btu then my dream i wanted to continue studyin oversaes, but it just.. ahh... its presurin from my family,financial , bla bla bla.. i just sick of it... everythg about money...

to be honest, money really matters in everything.. even thou love...money can really buy happiness. maybe some of u don agree,when u really been thru soemthing, i guess its diff, it just what i think, because been thru my previous relationship,it just somehow we have to be realistic, u wan to be stronger and tougher, u have to think realistic abit,solve the prob, all related to money... money money... work work work.... lovel ove love...ahh cycle of life.....
Unknown Loving - 16 years, 2 months, 1 day ago

ahh,im kinda depress,sad for my friend... seriously,appreciate all your friends right now... you will nvr know what will happen to them, i have one of my friend who have cancer.. she have it since last year, she's really strong, really stronger than i thought.

last time before the cancer thing happen, she used to be dam diva, ... like princess, wear very glamour,acting like diva... but after so much thg happpen, i can see changes in her, she become like.. mature... she appreciate,she grow stronger,she doesnt act like diva anymore, she realy.. yeah change alot... all this while im kinda close to her, but well, recently (since last semester) she trying to distant from our group (i have another 2 friends, we always hang out)

now final semester, the most stressful semester.. we have to really push ourselve erally really hard..... and yet,she still determine to continue her semester,she doesnt wana defer her semester or nvr even thought of stopping, yeah, she once told me she doesnt wana be left out, that one of the reason, and she doesnt wana waste her time.. we all did convince her not to continue her semester since she's havin chemo.. and she have to skip most of the classes and rush her assignment,stress up wif her assignment....

last few week,she have her last treatment,was hopin the result will be good... but turn out,she have to do extra chemo again,the stronger one and have to do transplant after 2 chemo.. i was so surprise, after 8 treatment, the doctor said she have to take 2 stronger treatment because her lung spread too fast.. and havent reduce the cancer cell... so okie, last 2 month she took the strogner, she even cry to me, she doesnt wana do anymore, she say she's tired everyday have to go hospital,see the ppl and patience,have different type of cancer, its like she always tell me,how lucky we are, how pity those who have cancer at the mouth,breast cancer, some even die afterstaying in hospital for like 3 weeks... i can see she's scared, i know... she even say sorry for distant and not talking to us(our group) .. because she said even thou she tell what she facin,we wont even understand because we havent been thru what she is now...

it just sad, bein as friend, u wana help but u cant, u wana change it but u cant, its destiny... all u can do, have to face it.. and live it... for now i appreciate eevry moment wif her,i try to help her assignment as much as i cud, and so is all my classmate, all of them realyl care for her,but soemtiem im kidna angry at them,because all my classmate will gonna ask "hows ur treatment..? how many tratment u have to do ??? are you going to skip class again??" ... its not suppose to ask... everytime they ask,she'll cry.... it just.. make thgs harder for her, if she doesnt bring up her condition,then dun ask,why some ppl just cant think wisely,even thou u tryign to concern,but ask those who are close to her but not HER....

last thursday the result announce that, her condition not really good...and she have to do another 2 more chemo and then do transplant... her cancer cell kinda aggresive,so from the 8th treatment to 12th treatment is only reduce 1cm.. from 4cm to 3cm... still big tumour in her lung... she told me ,she don know whether wana continue study,since its so stersful, and she said she wana do it finish as soon as possible,she doesnt wana go hospital anymore.. she donwana face this kinda situation..

i guess in her thought, even thou i have cancer,doesnt mean anythg can stop me doin what im happy... end up she still decide to continue her studies... one of my friend otld me that now her condition is really bad, and i dont even know about this... she just told me she have to do more treatment,but nvr tell me her condition... cause i didnt wana ask ,i wan her to tell her own willin.... and i donwan her to cry... its not that i don care about her.. so my friend told me that her condition is on stage 4... the last time was stage 2... it just 1 year...... im kinda shock.... so fast stage 4..??????? u know how worse it is... how slim chance???????

no wonder she keep crying whenever she talk about it.... and she told 2 of my friend that she might be dyin.... makes me more even sad..........

Unknown Loving - 16 years, 2 months, 5 days ago

im just sad... so sad...
Unknown Loving - 16 years, 3 months, 11 days ago

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Unknown Loving - 16 years, 4 months, 6 days ago