Speeding ticket-- $180.17
Seat Belt ticket-- $78.50
Breaking Curfew at home-- 2 weeks of extra chores

Cop not realizing you're inebriated AND underage-- PRICELESS

In memory of Memorial Day '08.
FUCK YOU, PASCO COUNTY SHERRIFF'S DEPARTMENT.



For Everything Else.....

Speeding ticket-- $180.17
Seat Belt ticket-- $78.50
Breaking Curfew at home-- 2 weeks of extra chores

Cop not realizing you're inebreated AND underage-- PRICELESS

In memory of Memorial Day '08.
FUCK YOU, PASCO COUNTY SHERRIFF'S DEPARTMENT.



In other news, I've decided to just get an XL 880 Sportster as my bike, (Because I want the Mag wheels standard, and it's a couple grand cheaper than the Crossbones. Plus, it's cheaper to insure, apparently! 770/year vs 890/year Ugh.. gimme my extra 15 bucks a month back. I need my cigarettes, thanks. ) but I'm getting it after my birthday so I can get the diamond Harley ring available free for all purchases of '08 bikes after June 1st.

Oh, and I need to get laid. Seriously. -_-''
Unknown "Scarlet Tigress" Bold - 16 years, 4 months, 1 day ago

Everybody's been in my face, tellin' me I gotta make a change
All I ever hear day and night is "you better hurry up and get a life"
I need some direction - 'cause the clock is ticking away
Then a friend of a friend of mine
says I've really been on his mind
Wants to go out and check out what the feeling's about
He says we have a deep connection - well it sure is news to me
and all can I say
Intuition tells me how to live my day
Intuition tells me when to walk away
could have turned left
could haven turned right
but I ended up here
BANG! in the middle of real life

then another one always says - she'd do anything to get ahead
she doesn't care if she has to scratch and claw to get in the door
she wants her 15 minutes of fame-- and 20 would be nice
but I guess it's her life
'cause intuition tells me that I'm doing' fine
intuition tells me when to draw the line
could have turned left
could have turned right
but I ended up here
bang in the middle of real life

should have turned left but I turned right
and I ended up here

and I feel alright

you make it hard for me
can't find the real you
you really think that I can't see
what it is that you're going to do


should have turned left but I turned right
and I ended up here

and I feel alright
Unknown "Scarlet Tigress" Bold - 16 years, 5 months, 20 days ago

You used to love me,
I know I still love you,
But recent events have made me fear,
That maybe your feelings were untrue.

You used to make me laugh,
You used to wipe away my tears,
You used to hold me close,
Made me forget all the bad years.

But now things are different,
Sometimes you treat me like shit,
The way you act around me,
Makes me think you don't care one bit.

I know that I've changed a lot,
But the truth is so have you,
You do a lot of things to me now,
That in the past you would never do.

I used to be special to you,
Someone you said you could NEVER replace,
But within a month you did just that,
You should have seen the look on my face...

You once told me you could walk the earth a million times,
And never find someone just like me,
I really believed you meant what you said,
I believed so many stupid things...

If I could go back in time,
To before we were apart,
I would give up the entire world,
I would even cut out my own heart.

You still make me happy,
Like you always used to do,
I wish it weren't so,
But you've made it clear I mean nothing to you.

I think about you all the time,
You're always on my mind,
To be honest if it weren't for you,
Then a long time ago I would have died.

Justin, I would give up the world for you,
The world and so very much more,
But some of the things you say really kill me,
Like when you called me names and an attention whore.
You're so different to me now than you were back then,
That I wonder if things with me were even real,
I wonder if you were just faking everything,
Simply because I was temporarily to your appeal.

You constantly confuse the holy shit out of me,
What's worse you really don't seem to care,
I believed you when you said "Part of me will always love you.",
But now I know those feelings are no longer there.

You make me feel like such a fool,
For still loving you so dear,
Everytime I see you my heart breaks a little,
It'll shatter sometime soon I fear.

I'm writing while I think of you,
Because this is the only healthy way to cope,
Lately you've been so hostile, when not using me,
That I label myself a dope.

But even so I still love you,
It's a part of me I can never change,
I truly want to be with you again,
I know I only have myself to blame.

No one in the world is as wonderful as you Justin...
No one can ever take your place in my heart,
But my place in your heart has been taken already huh?
And that fact completely tears me apart.

I keep telling myself to end things with you,
Because everytime I think something of you it blows up in my face,
But I can't seem to quit you,
Much too addicted, an angel fallen from grace.

Do I mean anything at all to you anymore?
Or do you truly care only for yourself.
I was so shocked when you told me that...
So much damage has been dealt.

You hate me don't you?
If you do that's okay...
I'll tell you I hate you too,
But in reality I love you anyways.

I can't forget you,
I'm still broken inside,
I want to run from my heartbreak,
But there's nowhere to hide.

I'm only happy when I sleep,
Because when I sleep I dream of you,
But it's very bittersweet,
Cause I know my dreams won't come true.
Unknown "Scarlet Tigress" Bold - 16 years, 5 months, 26 days ago

Serious Ranting Ahead.. feel free to comment with your thoughts on the matter.

Isn't it funny how the people that make one believe in the concepts of love and friendship the same people that make one doubt those very concepts? It's disconcerting and almost depressing, yet it always happens to be the case. It's difficult to remember how to feel at times.

Perhaps the wisest decision to be made would be to discount the belief in love and affection altogether - to discount the natural human urge for companionship. Scientists say that compainionship is as necessary to health as any physical treatment to the body. But perhaps, due to the natural inclination of human beings to hurt each other, the tendency toward solitude would be a much healthier alternative.

I've been pondering this concept all day and I haven't been able to come up with anything but more doubts and questions. If anything is unhealthy, it is obviously my tendency to overthink things. And what of my facade? That I couldn't even stand to discuss. Lust, promises... oh, how they intertwine... onto the next rant.

Promises are founded on ephemeral ideas and brittle lies. Promises are something people only put faith in for the sense of security�to think that a person will always be truthful and keep their word. Promises are ugly, fake lies that we put our minds through for the childish belief that perhaps one day someone will keep them.

No one has ever truly kept their promise to me. I hold no faith in them anymore�and I hold very little faith in friendship and the integrity of human beings. And the second that the seed of doubt is planted in my mind, a sabotage plan is formed. I get stretched too thin and there is no anodyne at the end. Beliefs are lost and trust broken every day.

I don�t know what to have faith in anymore � certainly not people and certainly not myself. I have no faith in my own judgment, surely. Suppose that my newfound boldness concerning dating is a mistake as well... I certainly can�t trust my good sense in these matters, as it is failed me every single time before. I don�t know what to trust anymore, but it seems as doomed to fail as everything else in my life. School... home... work. All failures. I'm not going to even bring up my relationships. That would just be putting salt on already sore wounds that will NEVER HEAL.

But... honestly... what is constant anymore? What can I count on? Surely not the childish jibes and gossamer threads of that which once was�that which I once believed in. The fact that I ever believed in anything astounds me.

But it is equally comforting and distressing to have people that you can not speak to for months and yet still trust implicitly with the details of your life. Maybe it's just because that person is so disconnected with everything that their knowlege of your thoughts and feelings aren't able to bring you inevitable pain like the people involved directly in your life.

Either way, I'm glad to have at least one of those people. It's easier to have someone to be able to talk to when it's so difficult to remember who to trust - or whether or not to trust at all.
Unknown "Scarlet Tigress" Bold - 16 years, 5 months, 27 days ago

I was listening to Alanis Morisette, the acoustic Jagged Little Pill and I got to thinking...

What exactly constitutes a lasting union? "Intellectual intercourse-- a soul to dig the hole much deeper" Or is it? The prospect scares me because I really am a romantic at heart. I believe in Love-with-a-capital-L and monogamy and growing old with someone.

I was talking to a friend about co-habitation. I found myself saying in retort "Well, I wouldn't mind moving somewhere foreign to me, in order to be with someone I love" and I stopped to think about this statement. Would I really? Why? Picking my own statements and thoughts apart is an expertise of mine, and I thought about this statement for about an hour.

I went online for a second to clear my brain and an interesting statistic was brought up on MSN. Mathematically speaking.. one in every 8-12 people you meet is someone that you can tolerate in marriage. Mathematicians have been slaving over this conundrum for decades, and found that 1 in every 12 people could form an adequate, passable, content couple in marriage.

It makes me wonder if our feelings (Not specifically mine, I mean "our" as the collective human race) towards someone of the preferred gender is made up of pre and postcoital anxieties.

Yeah, that's right. I, the romantic Kelly, have a theory that Freud would adore. Perhaps all feelings of belonging to someone, the feeling of tenderness and "home" in another is just a side-effect of copula.

Going back to the 1/12 statistic, I am saddened. One out of every twelve people I meet and I could make a decent union? Now, I don't believe in love at first sight--but I do believe in close friendships, and that is just too harsh for my tastes. I don't buy into the "searching my whole life for The One" bullshit-- I know that there's got to be at least ten people on this damn planet that I'd be happy to build a life with-- I just have to find/choose them and get the deed done. But 1/12?

It makes one think as to whom the 1/12 people are.

List 36 of your closest friends and exes.

According to mathematics, three of those people would be suited to you for marriage.

Now, this scares me on so many levels that it isn't funny. But for some reason I believe it-- it's absurd. I can't imagine marrying and growing old with any of the people on my list!

At any rate...

I'm still toying with the theory that love is based on pre-coital elation that one will eventually get to intercourse, and then ultimately, the act of sex itself as well as the experiences post-copulation.

This is just a momentary lapse into cynicism, so don't be alarmed, but it is worth thinking about, or at least pondering. I'll be back to myself soon... hopefully...
Unknown "Scarlet Tigress" Bold - 16 years, 5 months, 27 days ago