Two nuns are in the bathtub.
"Where's the soap?" says one.
"Yes, it does." says the other.

:)
Unknown "Gilgamesh" Frisky - 16 years, 9 months, 20 days ago

A penguin is driving down the road on a hot summer day, and notices that his car isn't running very well. It starts to get worse, so he pulls off the road at the next town, and drives to a garage.

The mechanic tells him that it will take an hour or so for him to look over the car, so the penguin waddles off to do some sightseeing. After doing some shopping at the mall, he gets hungry. He buys himself a coke, a fish-burger, and french-fries for lunch, and a drippy vanilla ice-cream cone for dessert.

When the penguin returns to the garage, the mechanic lifts his head from under the hood of the car, looks at the penguin, and says, "It looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin looks startled and says, "Oh no, it's just ice cream!"
Unknown "Gilgamesh" Frisky - 16 years, 9 months, 20 days ago

A man appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked.

'Well, I can think of one thing', the man offered.
'Once, on a trip to the Black Hills of South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.
I yelled', ˜Now, back off, or I'll kick the crap out of all of you!'

St. Peter was very impressed.
'When did this happen'?

'Just a couple of minutes ago.'
Unknown "Gilgamesh" Frisky - 16 years, 9 months, 21 days ago

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

Unknown "Gilgamesh" Frisky - 16 years, 9 months, 21 days ago

One day a man was reading Sports Illustrated when he came across another article about some large, dull-looking, muscle-bound athlete who had a fantastically beautiful wife.
Having read one too many of this type of article, he asked to his wife, "Why in the world do the biggest, ugliest, stupidest-looking men always end up with the most beautiful women?!"
His wife replied with a smile, "Why, thank you, dear. That's very nice."

Unknown "Gilgamesh" Frisky - 16 years, 9 months, 21 days ago