The first love is precious for everyone, isn't it?

Umm....In my case, it's hard to remove the memory about him...:(


We were in the same class of math private institute,
where we went to prepare for the Foreign Language High school.

After I started to like him, I REALLY studied hard
to be in the same class of the English private institute as well! :)
Eventually, I constantly leveled up three times and got in his class!

I also started to make me look better.
Do my hairs, pierced both ears and so on...lol

But, I recognized that he had a girlfriend.
I didn't know the truth, and hurted a lot...

But I couldn't stop the emotion toward him. (who can do that?)
So after the pass for my current school,
I decided to say my love to him.

I called him to be in front of my house the day before the house-moving.
(I had to move to Seoul, because my school is in Seoul...)
So,
I said I love him.
And I told him to forget all about me, 'cause I decided not to meet him anymore...
I cried, and told everything to him, the true emotion of myself,
which has been hiden for a long time.
(I pretend I was just a good friend of him.)

Then, I suddenly asked,
"Can I hug you just for a one time?"
He nodded.
I hugged him, and tried to run away from him.
But,
he grabbed my wrist and hugged me again...

I ran away from him this time,
and did not contact with him for several months..

But I changed my mind, and sent a text message to him after several months! lol
From then, we were just good friends (maybe nearly best friends) until now.

And we met each other 2 years from the 'hug day' (the day before my house-moving).
We laughed, and felt something subtle...
(It was March 14th, 2009)

And we met each other again for about several minutes on April!
He ran out from the private institute during the class to see me! lol

Then, we met again on July 31th with classmates and the teachers
of the private institute we had gone for the Foreign Language High school exam. :)

From then, July 31th,
I think I started to love him again.
He said "Do you want to hear something good? You are so pretty."
Hmmm....I know he didn't say this with some emotion.
He's just saying what he sees, and I know he doesn't think me as a girl who can be his girl friend, because we have been just good friends...
But I don't know, I think I'm starting to love him again....

HAHA!
What can I do for this situation now?
Hmmmm...
I just think this happens because I'm going to a girls' high school.
And since he's the only boy I can contact,
I think I'm simply misunderstanding that I like him.
('cause I just want to love someone DESPERATELY these days!)

Do I just have to wait till I become a university student?
Yoonjin "good girl" Sparkling - 14 years, 8 months, 12 days ago