The Acid story a.k.a. The Sausage Monster
Ok. You're about to read a real incident that happened a long time ago in a little town called Hamilton.
I had this friend, Derek, my acid buddy. We used to drop hits and go clubbing, walk the streets of Hamilton, or just sit and veg.(sometimes that was enough). One particular Friday night we decide to go to the Kingdom. So we drop some 'cid and hop into Derek's Fiero. We get to the club, it's live-to-air with 102.1(when they played really good music, remember I said it was a long time ago), I go up and say Hi to Martin and proceed to dance and boogy for a couple of hours. I sit down at one of the marble tables by the dance floor and observe Derek with his arms wrapped around the beam that runs up to the ceiling, which is also attached to the table I'm sitting at. It seems that Derek is having a "bad trip" and every time a good looking girl walks by(Derek was single at the time), he would glare at them like they were going to steal his beam. Weird.... I say, "Derek, you're supposed to be picking up chicks, not scaring them away." So I shake my head and look on.
Now, the Kingdom has something very cool that happens every friday night. They fill the top of the beams (there's four of them) with gunpowder and other various pyrotechnic stuff and let them go off during a good beat in a song and usually towards the end of the night. Obviously, I'm at that part of the story where exactly that happens. *KABOOM!* I THOUGHT I WAS DEAD!! Or at least dying. The whole room turns red, it gets really hot and I believed I was in HELL. Then the blast wears off... Just as I'm checking myself to make sure I'm alright, well.. doesn't it just start showering down crud from the explosion. Black soot-stuff starts falling on top of me, and I'm wiping it off as fast as I can (Still visibly freaking), yelling for someone to help me because I really wasn't sure what it would do to me if it got on me. Of course, that passes and I'm left looking dumbfoundedly at myself and realizing it wasn't real. Derek was all the way on the other side of the room (I found him later). But my girlfriend Angela was at the end of the table staring at me, I look at her and she proceeds to burst out in huge laughter as I try to explain that I thought it was real. She responds with, "You're weird."
It doesn't end there folks...
Derek and I get to my place, he wants to crash over. Ok, fine... But now he want's to order pizza.
Derek: "Do you think they deliver just slices?"
Debi: "What?"
Derek: "I only have a couple of bucks.."
Debi: "Just order a small pizza, I'll cover you."
Derek: "Ok." (dials Pizza, Pizza)
Young Girl: "Hello. Pizza, Pizza?"
Derek: "Uh, hello?"
Girl: "What can I get you?"
Derek: "Do you guys deliver slices?"
Girl: "No we don't, sir."
Derek: (covering up the phone, looks at Debi) "I think she likes me!"
Debi: "Give me that!" (talks into phone) "I'm sorry about my friend, he's not really with it right now.." "Can I just get a small pizza with pineapple, mushrooms and sausage? Thanks." (hangs up)
Now the pizza shows up and we proceed to eat. I've got the box beside me and I'm trying to eat over the box as not to get pizza and sausage balls(they always come in little balls, they're so cute!) onto the couch. So, a sausage ball falls into the box. tick, tick, tick... The sound is amazing! When you're on acid, everything sounds like it's turned up to the max on yer stereo. So again, I take a bite and... tick, tick, tick... I start to laugh, Derek starts to laugh. I take another bite...tick, tick, .....nothing. Where is the third tick? Oh no, the sausage went down between the cushions of the couch. I better get that...
Can't...seem...to...find...sausage...
And Debi goes into an Acid Tangent, and speaking VERY fast.. says...
"Oh no, Derek! If I don't find that sausage, it'll turn into something terrible. A monster perhaps.... yes, YES, a SAUSAGE MONSTER!! I'll be afraid to have friends over! They'll come and sit on my couch and then, and then... Arising from between two cushions will be this giant grotesque beast of sausage that will eat my friends in ONE GULP!! Of course, then next, the police will come over to investigate the deaths of my friends because I was the last one to see them. So I ask them to come in, please have a seat on my couch. "Would you like some coffee?" I would ask the two officers. "Yes", they would say(of course). So I go into the kitchen brew some coffee, take out three mugs from the cupboard..."GULP!!!"...I put two cups back...
Debi Wong-Brennen Daring
- 15 years, 9 months, 23 days ago
