A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right
behind the driver and starts yelling, ''If my dad was
a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.''
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who
continues with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom
a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.''
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus
driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ''What if your
dad was a drunk and your mom was a prostitute?!''
The kid smiles and says, ''I would be a bus
driver!''
Feyi "Mi Rei" Daring - 16 years, 2 months, 16 days ago

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice in reviving her husband's libido. 'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor. 'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin.' 'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an 'Irish Viagra'. It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.' It wasn't a week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to her progress. The poor dear exclaimed, 'Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!' 'Really? What happened?' asked the doctor. 'Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent me cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!' 'Why so terrible?' asked the doctor, 'Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good?' 'Twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again
Feyi "Mi Rei" Daring - 16 years, 3 months, 9 days ago

There was a chicken and a horse playing together on a farm one day. The horse fell into a mud pit and yelled to the chicken to run to the house and get the farmer. The chicken ran to the house and the farmer was nowhere to be found. So, it got into the farmer's BMW and pulled the horse out with it.
The next day the chicken and the horse were playing on the farm again. This time the chicken fell into the mud pit and yelled to the horse to get help. So, the horse stood over the mud pit and told the chicken to grab on to his penis and he'd pull him out. The chicken grabbed on and, indeed, the horse pulled him out.

The moral of the story: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.
Feyi "Mi Rei" Daring - 16 years, 3 months, 18 days ago

One day, Little Red Riding Hood is walking through the forest when she sees a wolf sitting under a tree with its ears erect and his mouth stretched in a big toothy grin. She says to the wolf, "My, what big ears you have!"
The wolf just grins and looks a bit wild about the eyes.

She says, "My, what big eyes you have!"

The wolf grins a bit wider and looks slightly harassed.

She says, "My, what big teeth you have!"

The wolf pulls himself together, looks her in the eye and says, "Fuck off! I'm trying to take a dump!"
Feyi "Mi Rei" Daring - 16 years, 3 months, 18 days ago

What does J.Lo and a doorknobs have in common?
Everyone gets a turn.
Feyi "Mi Rei" Daring - 16 years, 3 months, 18 days ago