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Unknown
Unknown
"Dave?!?"



Name:
Unknown
Last login: over 3 weeks ago
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Herds: Enter the Matrix, THE SWARM
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Unknown's tales
Unknown
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule here in
heaven: don't step on the ducks!'

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the
place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they
try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.

St. Peter chains them together and says, 'Your punishment for stepping
on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along
comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely
ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the
first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for
all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St.
Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes
on . very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, 'I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to
you for all of eternity?'

The guy says, 'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!'
Unknown "Dave?!?" Playful - 15 years, 7 months, 6 days ago
Unknown
A Short tale......
Unknown
Unknown "Dave?!?" Playful - 15 years, 8 months, 28 days ago
Unknown

"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?
I think that is how dogs spend their lives." ~ Sue Murphy

Unknown "Dave?!?" Playful - 15 years, 9 months, 7 days ago
Unknown
"If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans" ~ James Herriot






Unknown "Dave?!?" Playful - 15 years, 9 months, 7 days ago
Unknown

Never Argue with a Woman

One morning the husband returns to the bank of a lake after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'For reading a book,' she replies,

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again,

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with Sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.


MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.
Unknown "Dave?!?" Playful - 15 years, 10 months, 4 days ago
Comments

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Lightwizard
hello
Lightwizard "Light☆Wiz" Playful - 15 years, 3 months, 8 days ago

You have been given A Day At The Beach.
Crafted by Chris Jeffries
Chris Jeffries "Rascal" Tip-top! - 15 years, 6 months, 16 days ago
Kevin

You have been given Rarrrrr.
Crafted by Millie Marmite
Kevin "AWOL " Frisky - 15 years, 6 months, 17 days ago

You have been given Am I A-Door-A-Bull?.
Crafted by Al aka Da Bull
Chris Jeffries "Rascal" Tip-top! - 15 years, 6 months, 17 days ago
Liked your tales, they made me chuckle!! x
You have been given A Day At The Beach.
Crafted by Chris Jeffries
Chris Jeffries "Rascal" Tip-top! - 15 years, 6 months, 18 days ago
Roger Jon Morris
do you want to ?
You were taken on a trip! You have dined in Paris.
Roger Jon Morris "Educator" Naughty - 15 years, 6 months, 29 days ago
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the simple things....



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