We got to the courthouse early this morning and the court hearing started late. I didn't know if Samantha and Joshua needed to be with me seeing as they gave their statements to the police, so I brought them along anyway just in case. Tom was with us as well but he had to leave the courthouse and wait outside in the car before the hearing even started. He said something about not being able to stand everyone in there... whatever that meant... *shrugs* T.J. was happy to see all of us. He kept talking and talking to me and his siblings about what all has transpired at home since he's been gone. He was even leaning on me and hugging me... hugging me as best as he could in shackles. Once we got into court the judge read the list of charges to T.J. T.J. then plead guilty to all charges. The probabtion officer read their recommendation to the court as to what T.J.'s punishment should be (boot camp). T.J.'s public defender stated that T.J. would comply to the fullest extent with the punishment set forth by the court. The judge asked me if I had anything to say on behalf of my son. I did. I said, Terry has payed lip service to many different treatments and programs such as the Philhaven inpatient and outpatient programs. He does and says just enough to get him through the programs. However, once he returns home, nothing about his behavior changes. If anything it has only gotten worse. I'm afraid that he will pay lip service in this boot camp, come home and he'll be exactly the same. Only next time he comes into this court for a crime, he'll be tried as an adult. He can do the boot camp, however, the true test will be when he comes home. The judge agreed wholeheartedly with me. However, he he directed the following mostly towards T.J. He said that the people who run this boot camp will know when kids are just paying lip service just to get out and when the kids are truely investing themselves into the program to bring about a change within themselves. If he (T.J.) decides just to pay lip service, they will know and they will NOT let him out after the 30days are up. It's a 30 day minumum and a 4 month maximum program. So there you have it. T.J. will stay in the detention center until this Thursday at which time he will be transported to the boot camp a couple of hours away from here. He will spend at least 30 days there. He will be spending his 17th birthday there, which is on August 31st. This will no doubt be a memorable birthday for him.


Unknown "LadyValkyrie" Lustful - 15 years, 8 months, 12 days ago

The Probabtion Officer that is handling T.J.'s case called me yesterday. She wanted to know my opinion about what the reccomendation to the court should be concerning T.J. I told her I thought he should go into a Residential Treatment Facility. She said that normally the courts only send minors to Residential Treatment Facilities when they've committed felonies. T.J. has only committed 4 misdemeanors. Therefore it would be highly unlikely that the judge would agree with a Residential Treament Facility as punishment for T.J.'s crimes. She then suggested that T.J. be sent to a "wilderness camp" for troubled youths or a military style "boot camp." I agreed to the boot camp. Considering he's extremely defiant towards all authority figures, boot camp sounds like an excellent punishment and a wake up call. If the judge agrees, he will be sent there immediately following the hearing this Monday August 11th, and will stay there for 30 days. That means he will miss the first few weeks of the school year, which starts August 25th. He will go to school at the boot camp and will have any credits he recieves transfered over to his regular school once comes back home. However, the downside to all of this is that he may loose his place at CTC (Career Technological Center) where he was going to go for half the school day to study electrical technology (he has aspirations of being an electrician).

T.J. called me last night and when I told him all of this, he simply stated, "I don't think that will be good for me. I need my place at CTC." I told him if he loses his place at CTC, that is but another consequence he'll have to deal with. I told him that he's known for a long time that if he continued with this type of behavior that something like this was bound to happen. I told him that he's turning 17 at the end of this month. If he were to ever let something like this happen again, more than likely he would be tried as an adult and placed into an adult jail. I told him that everything he chooses can eventually effect his shorterm and longterm future. He simply said, fine whatever and hungup on he. Actually, from the sound of it, he just threw down the phone and stomped away, because I could still hear background noises. I waited a few minutes to see if he or someone else would pick the phone back up. No one did, so I hung up. He has this weekend to think about all of this before he goes before the judge on Monday. Will he have an epiphany between now and then. I very much doubt it. More than likely he'll continue to believe that we (his family) hate him and just want to get rid of him. He'll continue to blame his bad behavior on his mental disorders and even us (his family). He'll continue to not be accountable for his words and actions.

I'm doing better than I was. I've been talking a lot with the Home Based therapists that come to our home multiple days a week. They've been extremely supportive. They will continue to work with us as a family and as individuals until T.J. comes back from boot camp and even after that. The only time they would have to stop the Family Based Therapy is if T.J. was placed in a Residential Treatment Facility. It's probably going to be weird for T.J. when he does come back home, to have these 2 Family Based Therapist coming into the home multiple times a week, the rest of the family already very familiar with the therapists and he's only visited with them one time for 2 hours before he was placed in the juvenille detention center. Oh well, he'll have to get used to it. Family Based is a 32 week program. If he doesn't get a damn thing out of it, we (the rest of the family) will.


Unknown "LadyValkyrie" Lustful - 15 years, 8 months, 15 days ago

Tom and I worked things out. He and I decided not to allow T.J. to ruin our relationship. Yes, Tom was so very wrong for getting physical with T.J. first. He was the adult and he did not act adultlike. However, his frustration towards T.J. has built up over many years. Everytime he leaves for work and goes out on the road he fears getting calls from me. He's so afraid of what I have to tell him. He's always wondering if T.J. flipped out on me, my other two kids, or someone else's kid. When Tom is home and sees firsthand what T.J. is capable of... the lieing, cheating, stealing, manipulation, blatant disrespect towards everyone, especially me, he goes into angry Papa-bear mode. I've been there myself... so frustrated with an incorrigible child (a child in a man's body) who can have a lethal effect if he wanted to. Tom simply broke. It wasn't a good choice. However, it is understandable. T.J. will be 18 August 31, 2009 at which time I will have his ass thrown out of my house legally, with an eviction notice. Tom and I agreed that when Tom feels that he's going over the top when it comes to T.J. he will back off and allow me to handle T.J. He asked me if I would step in between he and T.J. if I saw that it was going the wrong way, I said I would, not just to protect T.J., but to protect Tom's ass from going to jail at the hands of an incorrigible and spiteful teenager. Tom also agreed that he will come in with me to my individual counseling sessions, when I want him to, so we can get worked on as a couple. He also agreed that once Family Based Therapy started for the entire family with T.J. being the center of it all, he would participate. I told Tom, even if T.J. doesn't get a damn thing out of Family Based Therapy, the rest of us as individuals and as a family can.

That was all weeks ago, though. So very much has changed, for the worse.

T.J. is in a juvenille detention center at this moment. I had him charged with Reckless Endangerment, Making Terroristic Threats, and 2 counts of Simple Assault. I just got back from the preliminary hearing where the judge decided where T.J. was going to stay until the time of his trial. I refused to have him come back into my home because he is a threat to my other two children, myself, and to society in general. It seems that the Probation Officer and the Judge agreed with me. So, he will stay in the Juvenille Detention Center a couple of counties away from me until his trial hearing August 11th. What happens after that is anyone's guess. I don't want him back into my home. I want him placed into a Residential Treatment Facility or as a last resort the state can take him and I'll have to pay the state child support to keep him till he turns 18. Whatever happens he will NOT come back into my home. He is too unpredictable and violent. I should NOT have to live in fear of my son! If I did the things to him that he does to me and the rest of the family, I would be thrown in prison for child abuse! However, since he is a minor, the law protects him, all in the name of "keeping the family together." All the while the family is indeed being torn apart because of that one child's violence and unpredictablity. Will all our problems be solved once T.J. is gone? Hell NO! However, we will be in a better place to be able to work on other issues that plague this family.

As I followed T.J. into the Judge's chamber's this morning my heart nearly came out of my chest. They had him shackled... arms shackled to a leather belt at the waist... a chin led from the leather belt down to his feet where those were shackled as well. As he shuffled his feet it walk, my heart was literally aching. I kept telling myself, "He must learn this hard lesson... HE MUST!"

Unknown "LadyValkyrie" Lustful - 15 years, 8 months, 18 days ago

Please vote for me in this silly superficial popularity contest called Miss HP 2008, and show the creators that a F.A.T. (Fabulous And Thick) woman can indeed win it! http://humanpets.com/herdProfile.php?hid=35933 Thanks so much!

Unknown "LadyValkyrie" Lustful - 15 years, 9 months ago

Please vote for me in this silly superficial popularity contest called Miss HP 2008, and show the creators that a F.A.T. (Fabulous And Thick) woman can indeed win it! http://humanpets.com/herdProfile.php?hid=35933 Thanks so much!
Unknown "LadyValkyrie" Lustful - 15 years, 9 months, 3 days ago