Spoiled Mother

A mother, father and young son are visiting the circus. The elephants walk out into the circus ring and the little boy says to his mother, "What's that?"
"That's the elephant's tail," she replies.
"No, under the tail," says the youngster.
The mother is clearly embarrassed and says, "Oh, nothing."
The boy turns to his father and repeats the same question. His father looks and says, "That's the elephant's penis, son."
"So, why did mum say it was nothing?" asks the boy.
The father draws himself up to his full height and says, "Son, I've spoiled that woman."

Unknown "My Sexy" Adventurous - 15 years, 8 months, 28 days ago

Third Child

Some newly married friends were visiting us when the topic of children came up. The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him.
They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the husband thought he'd put an end to things by saying boldly, "After our second child, I'll just have a vasectomy."
Without a moment's hesitation, the bride retorted, "Well, I hope you'll love the third one as if it's your own."

Unknown "My Sexy" Adventurous - 15 years, 8 months, 28 days ago

Wet Smokers

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.
Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom.
Lady 1: Where'd you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, the first lady hobbled into the local drugstore and announced to the pharmacist that she wanted to buy a package of condoms.
The guy looked at her kind of strangely (she was, after all, in her 80s), but politely asked what brand she preferred.
"Doesn't matter," she replied, "as long as it fits a Camel."

Unknown "My Sexy" Adventurous - 15 years, 8 months, 28 days ago

New AOL Messages

Since AOL has introduce there unlimited hours package they have started displaying special messages to customers. 1. You have been on-line for 46 minutes. Do you want to stay on-line? Please respond within 10 minutes, or you will be logged off. 2. You have been on-line 135 minutes. Not to put any pressure on you, but there are OTHER people in the world who would like to sign on. Let's show some consideration for our fellow members and sign off, WHADDYA SAY? 3. You DO realize that you have been on-line for 180 minutes, right? When was the last time you went outside? 4. OK, this is getting ridiculous. Frankly, you're starting to upset us! If you sign off now, we'll bring back your buddy list, OK? 5. You have been on-line for 360 minutes now! We promised you unlimited time, we know, but can't you just finish up and go read a good book?! 6. You have been on-line for 467 minutes. Do you remember your family members names? 7. You have been on-line for 513 minutes. Your spouse has left and your dog is starving. Do you wish to remain on-line? 8. You have been on-line for 724 minutes. Steve Case is coming personally to your house to yank the phone cord! 9. You have been on-line for 852 minutes. Do you KNOW how many hours that is? 10. You have been on-line for 921 minutes. Do you realize that AOL averages 921 complaints per hour about busy phone lines? Do you realize that AOL receives 9.21 lawsuits per day, due to busy phone lines? PLEASE sign-off, to reduce these averages, or go to KEYWORD: Class Action to join a lawsuit. 11. You have been on-line for 967 minutes. When AOL went unlimited, they didn't think you would take it LITERALLY! So get OFF, before we go broke! 12. You have been on-line for 1013 minutes. This is Steve Case, I need to sign-on myself and answer some mail. Could you PLEASE sign-off? 13. You have been on-line for 1105 minutes. Are you and your family chatting in shifts? GEEZE get off already! 14. You have been on-line 1151 minutes. WELCOME TO THE TEAM... See job application enclosed!

Unknown "My Sexy" Adventurous - 15 years, 8 months, 28 days ago

Put To Sleep

Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the veterinarian's. One of the dogs was looking glum, and the second dog turned to him and asked, ''What are you in for''?
''I'm in big trouble,'' he said. ''My owner has a really nice sports car with leather seats—he took me for a ride and I was so excited I peed on the seat, and now he's having put to sleep.''
''I know how you feel,'' said the second dog. ''My owner has a beautiful expensive oriental rug.The other day they were late getting home from work and I just couldn't help myself...I shit all over their nice carpet and ruined it.They're having me put to sleep too.''
Both dogs turned to the third dog in the waiting room. ''So what are you in here for?'' they asked.
''Well,'' the third dog said, ''my owner likes to do her housework in the nude.The other day, she was vacumming and she knelt down to vacuum under the sofa and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and had the ride of my life.''
The other dogs nodded in sympathy, ''So she's having you put to sleep, too, Huh?''
''No,'' said the other dog, ''I'm having my nails clipped.''

Unknown "My Sexy" Adventurous - 15 years, 8 months, 28 days ago