Stole this from Tim's Page... So True;

A dog is truly a man's best friend,
don't believe me,
lock both your dog and your girlfriend/wife in the boot of your car for a hour,
when you open it, who is really happy to see you?
Therese "Wilde Temptress" . - 15 years, 7 months, 18 days ago

IF I WAS IN YOUR BED
If you woke up one morning and saw me in your bed what would u do?

1) Go back to sleep............6) Climb on top of me and cuddle
2) Slap me......................7) Do me
3) Cuss me out.................8) Make me breakfast
4) Push me off the bed........9) Ask me my name
5) Just tell me to leave.......10) Call the cops

Repost in your tales too!!!!! and see how many people want you in their bed...you might be surprised by the answers you get back... put your answer below xxx
Therese "Wilde Temptress" . - 15 years, 7 months, 27 days ago

Unlucky Young Man

A young man goes into a chemist to buy condoms.

The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.

"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that."

"Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."

The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.

The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."

The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
Therese "Wilde Temptress" . - 15 years, 8 months, 2 days ago

Another Favorite.... Something for Kate - Monsters

I was hanging upside down from the overpass
Waiting to discover something about the world
I couldn't get with the program and I couldn't listen to them
It was like trying to think in reverse
And I don't want to slide into apathy
And I don't want to die in captivity
But these monsters follow me around
Hunting me down
Tryin to wipe me out

Wipe me out
Wipe me out
Wipe me out

Yeah I was hiding away under water
Waiting for distance and buying some time
Trying to be two hundred thousand years younger
So I could excuse myself from human kind
'Cos I don't want to be a container
Or a bastard with a ten page disclaimer
But these monsters spin me around
Get me down
Just try and shut me out

Shut me out
Shut me out
Shut me out

Hold it in your head
Hold it in your head
Hold it in your head (Believe in me, believe in me, believe)

I was hiding away under water (Shut me out)
Waiting for distance, waiting for time (Shut me out)
And I don't want to slide into apathy (Shut me out)
And I don't
and I don't want to live in captivity (Shut me out)
Shut me out (wooh...)
Shut me out
Shut me out
Shut me out


Therese "Wilde Temptress" . - 15 years, 8 months, 22 days ago

The Bathtub Test :)

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director ‘how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalised?’

‘Well,’ said the Director, ‘we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.’

'Oh, I understand,’ said the visitor. ‘A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.’

‘No.’ said the Director, ‘A normal person would pull the plug.’

‘Do you want a bed near the window?’

Therese "Wilde Temptress" . - 15 years, 8 months, 23 days ago