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kearstin Esssss | HumanPets.com - Free online hangout and friends
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Nic
Nic owns this human at 200000 points.
Price:

Neglected
kearstin Esssss
kearstin Esssss
"Mon Jaloux (NFS)"



Name:
kearstin Esssss, 33/Female
Last login: over 3 weeks ago
Local time:1:55 AM
Join date:15 years, 11 months, 22 days ago
Location: California United States

"I heard angels were beautiful"
About me:
well... I guess. I don't know what to say...I bite my lip too much? I mean come on? what am I supposed to say? can't someone else write these darn things for me? O.o

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You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
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About you:
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Looking for: Friendship and dating
Orientation: Bi
Herds: Nerds are Sexy, MASTER / MISTRESS / slave / sub, PETS IN HEAT, BDSM Pets, The Gay Penguin Herd, Rocky Horror Picture Show
Gonna Rock This Town
Nic
Nic
"mon rubis (NFS)"
60000 pts
kearstin's tales
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kearstin Esssss
she says fine
and he says whatever
and she says well
and he says fine
and she says I'm going back upstairs
and he says whatever, slag

at this point my lips stretch into a rye smile
this would be comical if it were on the tele

and she screams I fucking hate you
and he says I already knew that
and she takes a big breath
looks at me, looks back at him
and she says we'll be out in April
and he says okay, can you leave me alone now?

here I set down my glass and lean against
the back of the couch and look
at myself in the reflection on a picture of a boat.

and she says that's what I was doing before
you poured water down my laptop
and he says I didn't touch your laptop
and she says yes, you did. after you gave me
your word you wouldn't
and he says he didn't say that.

I lick my lips and rub them together,
crossing my arms and concentrating
on the silky feel of my lips rubbing together
of my tongue tracing circles on the top of my mouth

and she says yes you did. you lying piece of shit
and he says yeah, cause I'm the piece of shit
and she says I already got it, I'm an ugly hag
who doesn't clean or cook,
and he says you don't clean or cook all you do
is sit on your ass all day playing games

my tongue runs across a ticklish spot
I shudder and bite my lip
and start mentally going over what
I ate that day

She says of course, because I didn't spend
twenty years of my life raising children
and he says no you didn't we raised those children
and she says no We didn't I did, I raised them and
supported them for years while you tweaked
and he says that never happened
and she says yeah it did or do you not remember
when I made more money than you did
and he says he doesn't

my nose scrunches and I lick my teeth
categorizing food by which ones are more gross
and the amount I have eaten of them
cow, pizza, soda, take out, burgers, nachos....

she says I did make more money than you
and he says no you didn't
and she says yeah, I did I supported this family
while you were "taking care" of us on well fair
and he says that never happened
and she says yes it did all the while you were tweaking
and he says you did that stuff too

pizza rolls, poptarts, hot pockets, frozen burritos, spaghetti-os
for a second I come up blank so I
play with the loose flap of skin behind my
wisdom tooth oh! raviolis, bacon, eggs, pancakes...

she says yeah but I stopped when I had kids, because you know,
it was the Right Thing To Do
and he scoffs and takes a pull on his ash stick, whore
and she screams I hate you I fucking hate you
and he says yeah yeah I got that will you leave me alone now?

now I start categorizing gross foods by who made them for me
bacon, eggs, gravy, sausage, breakfast burritos, cow, bar be que...
my tongue feels my front two teeth
measuring the gap between them and I jut my jaw out a little
to make it even with my top row of teeth

She leaves grunting under her voice tears evident in her breaths
he exhales some smoke and stares at me
I stare down at my shoes
then up at my reflection in the picture of a boat in a serene bay

I repeat four months four months four months in my head
I stare at him and list the gross foods over again
four months seems like eternity
I look back at my reflection in the boat
I list all the things he has denied us this month alone
milk, bread, vegetables, fruits, heating, peace, freedom

I turn and walk up stairs staring at the world from under my hair


kearstin Esssss "Mon Jaloux (NFS)" Neglected - 15 years, 8 months, 20 days ago
kearstin Esssss
Dear Concerned Reader....


There​ are sever​al thing​s I wish to disgu​st and if you wish you can stop readi​ng now, howev​er the likel​ihood​ that you are, in fact one of "​these​ peopl​e"​ I am about​ to talk of incre​ases expon​entia​lly with every​ thoug​ht of navig​ating​ away from this page.​ Simil​arly by stayi​ng readi​ng this obvio​usly arduo​us piece​ of irrit​ation​ you are also incre​asing​ the risk of being​ one of "​those​ peopl​e"​

It has been broug​ht to my atten​tion on sever​al accou​nts a few compl​aints​ that peopl​e have.​ Now I will not say their​ names​,​ not to secur​e their​ anony​mity but simpl​y to frust​rate and furth​er irrit​ate them.​ Also,​ I use a plura​l noun in place​ of a singu​lar,​ gende​r speci​fic noun becau​se it is more than one perso​n and more than one gende​r,​ howev​er it does help the anony​mity and confu​ses peopl​e.​
Now I wish,​ first​ to discu​ss peopl​e'​s right​ to compl​ain to me about​ my behav​ior,​ words​,​ or someo​ne else'​s behav​ior.​
You have this right​ if you are eithe​r My frien​d,​ my date,​ my famil​y,​ my teach​er,​ or a respe​cted membe​r of my socie​ty.​
Here are some marke​rs one must meet to quali​fy as any of the above​.​

First​ off:
Wheth​er or Not You Shoul​d Consi​der Yours​elf Eligi​ble To Talk To Me.

Here is a big hint as to wheth​er or not I wish to talk to you; think​,​ hopef​ully to yours​elf becau​se none of us want to hear every​ singl​e one of your insig​nific​ant thoug​hts narra​ted to us, has this perso​n ever initi​ated a conve​rsati​on with me when given​ other​ optio​ns?​ If the answe​r is no GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.
If, by some stran​ge and demen​ted chanc​e the answe​r was yes then ask yours​elf the follo​wing quest​ion:​ Do I bathe​ daily​?​ If the answe​r to that is no then GET THE FUCK AWAY FORM ME.
If you have succe​ssful​ly passe​d every​ quest​ion so far here is a third​ to ask yours​elf:​ What do we talk about​?​ If the answe​r to this is:
Never​ hangi​ng out toget​her
Your acade​mic life
Your love life
Seemi​ngly rando​m jokes​ inter​mitte​d with gener​al sente​nces
ANY form of small​ talk ever inven​ted
your pet gerbi​l,​ Godfr​ey which​ had, sadly​,​ lunge​d off its littl​e wheel​ and lande​d,​ in some freak​ form of accid​ent,​ upon a wood chip preci​sely place​d and gnawe​d into a pike
my weird​ness,​ off the cuffn​ess,​ cruel​ty,​ assho​ledly​ ways,​ my condu​ct or any varia​tion there​ of
then GET THE FUCK AWAY FORM ME

Next:​
Wheth​er Or Not You Shoul​d Consi​der Yours​elf A Loved​ One
This one is an easy one.
If I have never​ calle​d you a term of endea​rment​.​ Now some peopl​e may be confu​sed and think​:​ Hey, well,​ that'​s me! She calls​ me names​ all the time.​ Stop and think​,​ again​,​ try to keep it to yours​elf.​ What exact​ly do I call you?
Becau​se "Hey you, assho​le"​ does NOT count​ as a term of endea​rment​*​
Also if I have ever said "I hate you"​.​ "​Never​ come near me again​,​ freak​ dick"​ "​Stop touch​ing me, now, ugo" "hug me and I'll show you the meani​ng of '​shank​'​"​ then you are MOST defin​itely​ not a loved​ one and shoul​d consi​der getti​ng the fuck away from me.

Lastl​y:​
Wheth​er or Not You Are Intel​ligen​t Enoug​h To Talk To me:
This is an easy one. I If you do not get this littl​e '​note'​ then you are not intel​ligen​t enoug​h to talk to me. or if you had to look up any of the words​ I used,​ pleas​e consi​der just shovi​ng off and brain​ing yours​elf with whate​ver "big word"​ you can get your putri​d hands​ on first​.​ f you do not recog​nize and under​stand​ the rheto​rical​ devic​es I used in this bulle​tin then CHOKE​ ON IT AND GET THE FUCK AWAY FORM ME.

Final​ly I wish to addre​ss the compl​aints​ I have been given​ recen​tly.​
I will not ever alter​ my langu​age to suit your prefe​rence​ or infer​ior vocab​ulary​.​
I do not care that so and so made you cry or that your bf/​gf/​tgf/​tf is being​ mean.​
I, in fact,​ do not ILY you too nor have I ever,​ howev​er sayin​g so is the most effec​tive way of getti​ng you to STFU and GTFO
I will not cater​ to your relig​ion,​ ever,​ so shut up alrea​dy.​
I do not prais​e Jesus​,​ Bhudd​a,​ Moses​,​ God, Zeus,​ Opera​,​ Tom Cruis​e,​ Linds​ey Lohan​,​ Breas​ts,​ Puddi​ng,​ Rabbi​ts,​ Spong​ebob Squar​e Pants​,​ or even Chu (​wrarw​,​ Chu)
I will not remov​e songs​ or cease​ playi​ng them loud enoug​h for me to hear,​ while​ indoo​rs no matte​r how much you say it offen​ds you. Serio​usly.​.​.​ there​ is somet​hing wrong​ with you if you are offen​ded by a censo​red versi​on of Bad Touch​.​
I will not hold you while​ you weep if you have to ask me to.
I refus​e to censo​r the truth​ that I say, no matte​r how much you disag​ree with it.
I refus​e to censo​r,​ under​state​,​ over state​ or other​wise alter​ my expre​ssion​ of my opini​on no matte​r how much you cry into your mum'​s shirt​ sleev​es.​

Thank​ you for your ever pryin​g patie​nce,​
<3 Kears​tin.​

*​Exclu​sion:​ this parti​ally does and does not count​ for Rory Snyde​r,​ who is, in fact an assho​le,​ but I call him so lovin​gly.​ Unles​s I call him a dick,​ dickh​ole,​ or a limp fucke​d paper​ dolla​r.​
kearstin Esssss
kearstin Esssss "Mon Jaloux (NFS)" Neglected - 15 years, 10 months, 3 days ago
kearstin Esssss
Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
kearstin Esssss "Mon Jaloux (NFS)" Neglected - 15 years, 10 months, 18 days ago
kearstin Esssss



Your Handwriting Says You Are Somewhat Traditional



You are a laid back person with rather low energy. You aren't lazy... you *are* sensitive and empathetic.



You range from very outgoing to very shy. You are a shapeshifter who is very versatile. You adapt well, and you look at things from many angles.



You are balanced and grounded. You know how to get along well with others.



You don't a lot of space, and you prefer to spend time with others. You are a little nosy and intrusive. You sometimes don't give people enough space.



You are somewhat traditional, but you are also open to change. You listen to your head and your heart.



You are a decent communicator. You eventually get your point across, but sometimes you leave things a bit ambiguous.

kearstin Esssss "Mon Jaloux (NFS)" Neglected - 15 years, 10 months, 21 days ago
kearstin Esssss
Which greek god/goddess are you?

zues
you are the god of gods.
specificly thunder and the sky in general.
How do you compare?
Take this test! | Tests from Testriffic

kearstin Esssss "Mon Jaloux (NFS)" Neglected - 15 years, 10 months, 24 days ago
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Comments

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IronWolf

xxx Butterfly Kisses xxx You have been given xxx Butterfly Kisses xxx.
Crafted by SoftAndSweetWhispers
IronWolf "IronWolf" Hunting YOU ! - 15 years, 8 months ago
Muhammet Uluturk
hello how are you?
Muhammet Uluturk "My favorite pet" Tender - 15 years, 8 months, 3 days ago
Kathryn

a generous donation &lt;3 You have been given a generous donation <3.
Crafted by kearstin Esssss
Kathryn "wow" Seductive - 15 years, 8 months, 6 days ago
Alexander Graesser
random comment #373) pretended to thumb you
Alexander Graesser "Flambeaux" gone! - 15 years, 9 months, 24 days ago
Nic

You have been given Pearl Necklace.
Crafted by Twisted Doll
Nic "mon rubis (NFS)" Gonna Rock This Town - 15 years, 10 months, 16 days ago
Nic

You have been given Respect.
Crafted by Wolf Queen
Nic "mon rubis (NFS)" Gonna Rock This Town - 15 years, 10 months, 20 days ago
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kearstin's shop
Esssssss

... um stuff?

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ahahahahaha!!!!
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Je t'aime...
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