I've got nervous knots in my tummy now LOL

Got a message that was totally unexpected.....in a good way. I've got butterflies in my tummy...and I have a feeling "said butterflies" will be there for a while.

Long story short, I guess it DOES pay to keep sifting through profiles on HumanPets until you see one that makes you stop -- and then you're all like: "Well NOW what do I do"?? LOL

I'll elaborate in the next few days but, I at least wanted to throw that out there
Leslie "ma btl" Playful - 9 years, 8 months, 12 days ago

My Diary…….March 5th 2014

I want to start writing a journal, diary, political entries, etc, —- whatever you want to call it. Writing the first entry is the hardest — I never know quite how to “introduce myself” or start out.

Anyway, I’m a single mom of two daughters - ages 21 & 17 - and that’s a long story in and of itself. I am currently in Columbus Ohio but, I was raised in Wheeling / Moundsville, W.Va. So yeah, I was born and raised a redneck (don’t hate, LOL)

I am a registered Conservative Independent ( I’ll explain more about that later - again, long story )…..but I had enough of the Republican Party after George Bush’s second term in office.

I am a Book-A-Holic. I love to read, and I currently have books strewn all OVER my apartment ( no lie ). I am an avid movie buff. I love to write movie reviews but, I have a never ending lazy streak that, I watch more movies than I do reviewing them LOL. I hope to change that, after I get into the habit of blogging, writing, etc.

So, that’s enough for this entry. Like most people, I don’t like to read journal entries that are paragraph after paragraph after paragraph. I like to read blogs that are short and sweet and to the point. I’ll try to write another entry tonight before I go to bed. It’s now 5:22pm Eastern Time so, I hope to have another one up tonight
Leslie "ma btl" Playful - 10 years, 1 month, 24 days ago

So anyhoo, it's been over 25 days since my last journal. I'm gonna try to write more but, I might just start writing my journal on pen and paper, and taking a break from the internet altogether ( although I'll never leave it - sometimes we just need a break you know? )

I really hate the fact that, no matter what happened in my life in the past that was bad, that I had to tell my mom & stepdad about, I knew they wouldn't hug me and say: "It's ok sweetie --- it's ok".

Instead I knew I would get nothing but mental, emotional, psychological, and verbal BULLETS from them....and that's never how life should be. Your kids should NEVER be afraid to talk to you.......about ANYTHING.

It doesn't make it any easier, nor does it soften my heart toward my mother, the fact that she's bi polar, and SEVERELY bi polar at that; because honestly, she uses her illness as a crutch. She always talks about how nervous, paranoid, fearful, scared, depressed, etc she is, and I just want to look at her and say:

"" MOM, NOBODY CARES BUT YOU!!!!! ""
Leslie "ma btl" Playful - 10 years, 8 months, 28 days ago

I hope my diary / Journal won't be boring to anyone but, I have a feeling it will be boring to a select few. Oh well. Can't please everybody.

I was born in Wheeling, W.VA at 5:56pm Eastern Time at Reynolds Memorial Hospital. It pains me to know that I'm even on this earth right now, and I wonder what life would have been like if my little sister had been here. I really do feel all alone sometimes like, a piece of me is missing.

And you know, honestly, no matter what I do, I think a piece of me always WILL be missing, something that just can't be psychologically remedied with needle and thread, or a pep talk or any other "adjective" you want to insert in here. I'll explain more about why I just wrote that in a later diary....but for now, I kinda want to lay it out there.

So yes, I AM an only child, whose parents divorced when I was just 2 ( or so my parents have said ). And I've heard plenty of He-Said-She-Said kind of stories from BOTH of my parents in regards to who caused the marriage to fall apart. I'm inclined to not believe either one of them, because both of them LIE.

And they wonder why I had such a bad lying streak (as does my 16yr old daughter) when I was kid. It was because HALF the time, when the situation arose, my mother out right TOLD me to lie about certain things. ( I'll tell you more on that later ).
Leslie "ma btl" Playful - 10 years, 9 months, 24 days ago

So, trying to figure out where I'm gonna keep a journal / diary / whatever.

I tried FaceBook & Twitter but, I've gotten to know too many people personally; and I really want my journal to be in a "neutral" zone, where strangers will read it....and they won't have any pre conceived notions about who I am or what I'm about.

But trust me, it's nothing bad LOL. I just like having a generic spot to keep my thoughts so that when strangers read it, they'll be reading it objectively, with no pre-conceived notions and no pre judgmental thoughts.

So anyway, I'll start there....and I'll probably keep my diary here for a while. I'll just see how it goes.
Leslie "ma btl" Playful - 10 years, 9 months, 29 days ago