I have closed my shop and am moving on...buhbye...xxoo
CyndiM NOT FOR SALE "Iz leving HP " Purring - 14 years, 11 months ago

Some 'gasms for ya...lol

Situations you may find yourself in, and the "gasms" you may encounter

Sex in a boat - oar-gasms.
Sex with a nerd - dork-gasms.
Sex at the entrance to your house - door-gasms.
Sex on carpet or linoleum - floor-gasms.
Sex at the supermarket - store-gasms.
Sex at a Steven King Movie - horror-gasms.
Sex with a prostitute - whore-gasms.
Sex with an accountant - bore-gasms.
Sex while sleeping - snore-gasms.
Sex with 'Arthur' - Dudley Moore-gasms.
Sex with cartoon donkeys - Eyeore-gasms.
Sex while broke - poor-gasms.
Sex with a lion - roar-gasms.
Sex for hours and hours on end - sore-gasms.
Sex on a golf course - fore-gasms.
Sex with a nymphomaniac - more-gasms.
Sex in a gold mine - ore-gasms.
Sex with a dermatologist - pore-gasms.
Sex with a politician - Al Gore-gasms.
Sex with Chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers - s'more-gasms.
Sex with a bullfighter - toreador-gasms.
Sex with a masked man carrying a sword - zorro-gasms.
Sex on the beach - shore-gasms.
Sex at an all-you-can-eat buffet - smorgasbord-gasms.
Sex on a cruise ship deck - shuffleboard-gasms.
Sex in Asia - Singapore-gasms.
Sex among the wonders of nature - outdoor-gasms.
Sex in the vicinity of a garbage can - odor-gasms.
Sex on the way to the train - 'All Aboard'-gasms.
Sex that wasn't very satisfying - 'There's the door'-gasms.
Sex in an adult theater - hard-core-gasms.
Sex with someone who's not paying attention - ignore-gasms.
Sex with a competitive partner - score-gasms.
Sex while flying - soar-gasms.
Sex with a beloved partner - adore-gasms.
Sex with a meat-eater - carnivore-gasms.
Sex with a person who's got a really bad hairdo - pompadour-gasms.
Sex with someone who's got bad taste in clothes - velour-gasms.
Sex while travelling - tour-gasms.
Sex with a big dog - Labrador-gasms.
Sex with Beavis and Butthead - 'GonnaScore'-gasms.
Sex on stairs at the mall - escalator-gasms.
Sex with three of your friends - four-gasms.
Sex with a Norse God - Thor-gasms.
Sex when resistance is futile - Borg-gasms.
CyndiM NOT FOR SALE "Iz leving HP " Purring - 15 years, 1 month ago

Oh to be 12 again...




A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife,
looking at herself in the mirror.

Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to
have for her Birthday.

'I'd like to be twelve again', she replied, still looking in the
mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice
big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Alton Towers theme park.

What a day!

He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the
Corkscrew, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster,
everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park.

Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

He then took her to a Mc Donald's where he ordered her a Happy
Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake..

Then it was off to the cinema with popcorn, a huge Cola, and her
favorite sweets............M&M's.

What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed
exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked,
'Well Dear, what was it like being twelve again?'

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. 'I
meant my dress size, you retard!!!!'

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is
gonna get it wrong.
CyndiM NOT FOR SALE "Iz leving HP " Purring - 15 years, 1 month, 15 days ago

Thank you, Warren for those lovely jokes...lmao!
CyndiM NOT FOR SALE "Iz leving HP " Purring - 15 years, 1 month, 18 days ago

My friend went out on a date last night. He asked his new companion about sex and she said "i like it infrequently" he is wondering if that is one word, or two??
CyndiM NOT FOR SALE "Iz leving HP " Purring - 15 years, 1 month, 18 days ago