I have two daughters, and I am a grandfather, who enjoys his grandson, doing woodworking, the Packers and Brewers. I enjoy sitting on my deck in the evening listening to music and the crackling of a good fire in the fire pit. I enjoy a good laugh, and making people laugh.
A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is pregnant and
Her contractions are only two minutes apart.' 'Is this her first child?'
The doctor asked. 'No!' the man shouted, 'This is her husband!' Al Z"My Buddy Al :)"Relaxing!
- 2 years, 9 months, 2 days ago
I ended up with an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 65-year-old.
In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of vodkas , and she asked if I'd ever had a 'Sportsman's Double'?
'What's that?' I asked.
'It's a mother & daughter threesome ,' she said.
I said, 'No, I haven't', as my mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered what her daughter might look like.
We drank a bit more, and then she said with a wink, 'tonight's your lucky night'.
We went back to her place. We walked in... She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs,
"Hey Mom...you still awake?"
Al Z"My Buddy Al :)"Relaxing!
- 3 years, 1 month, 25 days ago
A pastor was presenting a children's sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was.
Now, asking questions during children's sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous. Having asked the children if they knew the meaning of the resurrection, a little boy raised his hand.
The pastor called on him and the little boy said, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours, you are supposed to call the doctor."
It took over ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough for the worship service to be continued. Al Z"My Buddy Al :)"Relaxing!
- 4 years, 10 months, 3 days ago
Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore.
A friend of mine was wearing one, when he was shot by the woman's husband. Al Z"My Buddy Al :)"Relaxing!
- 5 years, 1 month, 21 days ago
My trip to the store
There was a bit of confusion at the store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said, "Strip down facing me."
Making a mental note to complain to my congressman about Homeland Security running amok, I did just as she had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to my credit card.
I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.
They need to make their instructions to us seniors a little clearer! Al Z"My Buddy Al :)"Relaxing!
- 5 years, 4 months, 23 days ago