which wasted much time on their journey. They came across the centre known as "fictional character rehab". This was a large building where characters from history and cartoons and books, could all go and try to get off their individual grievance. The horse stopped outside the gates, and said to Denise, "I have been searching for this for many years now, I need to cure my urge to hide, and please can we make a stop?" Denise couldn't resist his pretty little face and told him she didn't mind. They both hesitantly entered the enormous glass boiling and were immediately greeted by the receptionist, or what they though was the receptionist, but was actually the weasel from "the animals of farthing wood", and evil and twisted little animal, and at the same time such a bitch. She was sat behind the desk on an extremely high chair and when she got down taking the horse to his cell, she was absolutely tiny. It really is no wonder she fits in the TV is it? Anyways that is beside the point, she showed the horse to his room. This was a trick and he fell from many miles in the air falling and falling like a penny off the empire state boiling, growing in pace and his horse cheeks flapping with the g-force. Luckily night crawler from X-men was also a member of the rehab centre and managed to teleport collect the horse and teleport back inside. The wEasel had been rumbled and ran away leaving the receptionist's uniform lying on the floor, shouting, "Ooh, I've been rumbled", like a coy-carp in salt water. The real receptionist came out of a door in the skirting board completely naked, covered by a false moustache and ran away with her uniform. Tony the tiger was back only this time he was carrying an envelope addressed to Denise. He stayed for a while, shouted in his usual booming voice, "they're grrrreat", and ran back into his padded cell to eat another pickled egg. She opened the envelope to find only some singed hair and a note saying, "MWUhahaha, your children have been singed as you completed the challenge however, you shall live, like Frankenstein on cannabis. You must also run a marathon in clogs, ha ha no, that's a joke. for completing all the challenges in the given time we have also enclosed a small piece of cake, the only problem being we ate the cake so basically we haven't really put the piece of cake into the envelope, so there's some singed hair there instead, I hope it goes well in the future for you. If you break the rules again though we will simply kill you with a fish, or tell the big G to give you allepesha so all your hair falls out. Have a nice life you hair bitch. Love from, the Council of random flying objects (and Dave the technician)". Denise was as relieved as a constipated rat after a huge poo. She put on her favourite poncho and danced in the shower with her best friend peter the German sociology teacher, with their moustaches flailing in the swinging motion of their head. It was poetry in motion. Suddenly the wall burst and they were once again faced with the council. "damn you", bellowed Noel Fielding's hair, " you have once again committed a sin, now you must be punished much greater than before", he whipped out a shaver and shaved half of each of their moustaches off it was absolutely ridiculous. They each had half shaven moustaches looked like they been on their side in the sun too long. Anyway this epidemic has gone on far too long, it is not time for me to bring this to a close. Denise got on with her life and lead a full and prosperous life hairy and happy, she died when she was 123 when she lived in the old peoples home along with the hiding horse, the rabbit, Tony the tiger and her good fried the German who shall not be named, and her children carried on the tradition form the flying council and grew wings and set people challenges when they broke the rules spoken by the black and white rainbow of proclamations and commandments.

THE END


Unknown "sexy manwhore" Crazy - 16 years, 9 months, 12 days ago

wanted to know what the challenge was she had to pay him good money. Not having any money at this time proved a problem for Denise. She did however come to an agreement, and gave the Master Badger 3 sirloin snakes and a copy of terminator she found inside the papoose from a previous adventure, as well as some seaweed and a horn, possibly from a moose. The badger was very happy with these gifts and proceeded to tell Denise of the next challenge, it was a rather strange task even compared with all the previous ones. She had to find four friends and enter fort boyard, consequently winning all the challenges and finding the clue the paying the red neck to take her across the mystic sea and get back to dry land . After this she must find the pearly gates of the Council of random flying objects and wait for further instructions.

She set off on the next challenge, she came to the sea. The master did not however, explain the method she was going to have to use to get across the sea and she had forgotten to acquire the four friends needed to compete in this legendary competition. She set off the other way in search of the friends and a possible method of getting to them across the sea. She found the four, they were, and the hiding horse that actually had come to her as his lifelong dream was to compete in fort board, so he could get on TV. Michael Jordan was another one, Elvis Costello's son, and john cheese made up the team, this was the best one she could muster with the time given. She had also found a method of crossing the sea to the former prison in order to compete in the tasks set by board himself. The method of crossing was Falcon the Luck dragon from the never-ending story, he had crossed books and was out of work so he said he would love to transport this immense team to where they needed to be. When they arrived at the fort, Falcon crashed right into the side of the old legendary building crushing the whole thing down to just one level. Board was killed and so were all the crazy little midgets and the tigers, this was a real shame although a great help to denies, she waved goodbye to falcon and said that her team apart from the horse could leave her if they wanted, so they did. She took all the gold pieces from the head and headed to the ways wing. whEre the red necked seaman, was situated. She paid him the 17 gold pieces he asked for and placed the rest of the money inside her moustache in a small bottle. The horse was having a ball, which was weird because they were on a small boat and he only invited himself none the less, he had a whale of a time at the ball.

Bump!! The red neck had landed the boat safely back on dry land, and Denise and the horse climbed off saying thank you and goodbye. All the while the Council of random flying objects were getting more and more agitated by her constant be founding of the challenges. They thought she would have been killed or worse by now, but no, she ventured on pretty much unsaved. When they reached the other side she only had one more hour to find the council, so the horse said for her to climb aboard his back and he would carry her there, which could only lead to more speed. There on the bank of a possible sea where they had ventured to fort board were the two legendary characters. Dumbfounded by all the events she had been through. She had used muscles that she never even knew she had, she had met characters that she never knew existed other than in the in the head of the bewildering creator of this novel.

They couldn't contemplate for long as they had but 37 minutes to get to the pearly gates of the council of random flying objects. They could already see the immense black and white rainbow that had caused such a journey much before they got any where near the gates of the council. Denise was growing tired of walking but the horse was not even breathing heavy yet and decided to carry her and her mystical papoose to the gates and wrath. Closer and closer they came, there was however one last peril they must endure before they reached the gates whi
Unknown "sexy manwhore" Crazy - 16 years, 9 months, 12 days ago

world it seemed, which was soon to be a complete and utter misconception of the truth. As she approached another fork in the road, she noticed that her papoose was moving. She had finally come to realise the snake was in her papoose. tHis was no ordinary snake, it was a mystical anaconda with coloured liquids and crystals on. It was the reincarnated body of her father. Her father, the snake and she got talking. Her father explained many things to her, like why she was so hairy, and why he ran away when the gang of chavs tried to name her, and also why he was now a snake. The reasons were delightful to her lonely ears at this point, but it was short lived as out of nowhere the council of random flying objects appeared and took care of the snake with a single shock to the brain and then an oval tine power packet. It was a horrendous watch for our Denise, but the endeavour only spurred her on more to complete all the challenges and keep her moustache and kids. She wandered lonely as a cloud, unfortunately not through a field of golden daffodils, but this was a very different kind of field, it was made entire of props from pat sharp's fun house, which is an old program from the 80s. It was marvellous, many things were now bulging from her increasingly brown papoose. She had no idea why it was increasingly brown, but she ventured forth anyway.

Denise had just realised she was still dressed as a posh horse and took off the costume leaving it precariously placed at the side of the path. A herd of root vole came and carried the costume into their warm kangaroo's belly pouch home they were currently occupying. It looked rather strange with a kangaroo having a horse's face poking out of it, smoking a pipe and wearing a flat cap. Tony tiger came from nowhere, shouted in his usual booming voice, "they're grrrreat", and ran from the path like a gay in high heels. Shocked by this outrageous behaviour, Denise ran as fast as she could in the general direction of that fateful valley.

She slipped and fell to her knees, only to look up and see she had made the valley, and was petrified by the prospect of finding this one turtle in a hard hat. She felt a slight nudging on her side, as she turned around she realised it was the turtle in a hard hat, although as she turned more, until her head was fully rotated like an owl, she noticed that there was at least six of these turtle like creatures. She had a hard time finding the key, but eventually she found it, and asked the turtle where she should be heading now, as she had forgot what the key was for. "Sie müssen in Richtung zum Haus von Dachsmilch vorangehen und hereinkommen, zwecks die Hilfe des unbeliebten Vorlagendachses auszusuchen", said the turtle. Luckily Denise was bilingual as well as very very hairy so she understood completely and headed for the house. She ran like linford christe, only with less of a package towards the house, getting more and more tired she began to slow and suddenly caught narcolepsy from a nearby penguin and fell asleep, which in these parts was never a good idea for anyone other than john cheese. Without Denise knowing, the grapes of wrath game from out of the ground like a bunch of zombies and turned her completely around. When Denise awoke several minutes later she did not realise she was facing the wrong way so she just headed back in the direction she came from unknowingly. She realised when she got back to the fork in the road that she had been heading in the wrong direction. Luckily this particular fork was a very kind, quietly spoken fork, and decided to help her on her way quicker by lending her a penny farthing. She hopped aboard the penny farthing and set off as fast as Lance Armstrong in the tour de France. Flashing past bushels of coats, trees and a large broccoli. Soon enough she came to the house where the master badger was hiding, reaching into her papoose she came out with the key for the house and entered. The badger was sat eating a cheese sandwich dressed as an old lady in a nylon gown and a wig. He said that if she
Unknown "sexy manwhore" Crazy - 16 years, 9 months, 12 days ago

The glove came to a sudden stop thrusting Denise into a bush. The bush actually turned out to be the leg hair of Shatoon the bringer of corn himself. "Dam nit, stupid glove, stop at an appropriate time in future, i've never had to comb my leg hair so much in my life", boomed a voice from above. Shatoon was enormous, over 12 feet tall, with a beard and a wizard's hat, possibly stolen from Merlin the great wizard of the sword in the stone cartoon film. "Who are you anyways? are you the young lady who has many challenges to perform in order to keep that lovely moustache of yours?" it was indeed a lovely handlebar moustache she had, was mishapen from the bumping into Shatoon's leg hair, but it was still rather ingenius. The pair got down to business, no not that kind of business they simply began kneading the dough for the cheese bread, and putting it int a marvellous cat shaped bread device. They actually made two loaves, and Denise put into papoose the half that Shatoon had made for her. Her papoose was getting bigger and bigger and was bulging at the seems by now, She had so many random objects it it, the horse costume, the party had from the Pelican in a party hat she previously helped, bread, and many other delights. She thanked Shatoon with a kiss on the knee and was again set on her merry way. The bringer of corn himself had told her exactly where to find the magical mouse, and gave her a hessien sack to catch the blighter in.

She wandered tentatively down the chocolate button cobbled street of toffee. It smelled wonderfully, but Denise was not coaxed into trying to eat anywhere as she remembered what her long dead grandfather used to say, "if it smells nice and you're walking on it, don't eat it, you never know who's scrubba feet have been walking all over it". Her grandad was a wise old owl, literally an owl had to help with transportation when his legs stopped working after the Great War, but this story has nothing to do with him. She just skipped on her merry way past turtles in dresses, badgers in dungarees, and even a giraffe hiding behind a clowd because his paranoid nature prevented him from seeking more knowledge of the world from the learning tree. Suddenly she was attacked by a heard of wahlrus', coming at her from all angles their wheels squeeking like an old gate that hasn't been oiled for weeks. Denise however was far too clever for a gang of wahlrus bandits and jumped inside the horse suit, and galloped away to the mouse's house.as she closed on the house she took out the cheese bread and the hessien sack from her papoose and heald the cheese bread over the mouse's door. The huge mouse burst out of the wall and woofed the cheese bread thankfully the size was a hinderance to the mouse and she could snatch the mouse in the sack before he could turn and run away. She did wonder why the sack was so big previously but chose to ignore what the reason may have been. Now she knew, the mouse was fooking massive. Anyways the size of the mouse has nothing to do with the fact that our Denise is an absolute legend, and was edging ever closer to keeping her moustache. The mouse was a very friendly massive mouse and was an outrageous hoot, he was telling jokes about puffa-fish, until he realised he was still in the net. After that it was like watching free Willy floss his face off. Denise explained that she could not let him go until he had explained her next random task to her, so he obliged with great pleasure. He proceeded to explain to her that she must go far far away from there to the valley of chip fat and lesbian goats, which was a rather random name for anything, let alone a valley. At the valley she was advised to find the giant turtle in a hard hat, and reach under the hat, therefore extracting the key to the house of badger milk, and finding inside the mystical Master badger and asking him of the next challenge. Denise didn't know it yet but a Rastafarian snake had slithered into her papoose whilst the giant mouse was explaining all this to her. She set off without a care in the wor
Unknown "sexy manwhore" Crazy - 16 years, 9 months, 12 days ago

she was seen as a very nice young lady and the crossbow lead her out of the forest and right into the terratory of the ingenius rabbit. Suddenly out of nowhere a puff off purple smoke came spirting from the ground and minced away like a member of boyzone. From behind the big gay purple cloud came the rabbit, wearing the mystical top hat, and the rainbow protruding greaciously from its velvety exterior. The rabbit leaps backwards and completely cleas the valley of vegetable soup leaving our challenged young lady on her own on the wrong side of the valley. She had a sudden idea that was both fool proof and ingenius. She plaited all her facial and chest hair to form a bridge and wandered easily across it. The rabbit was shocked and the battle could now ensue. The referee of the battle was a scouse man dressed as an old monkfish goulash. During the fight there was much tickling, slapping and saucering. The rabbit sensing defeat pulls an army of ginger smurfs from the incredible top hat. Denise got out the horse costume from the previous challenge and scooped all the smurfs into it, and zipped it up, throwing it gracefully into the valley of vegetable soup. there was gravy soaked bread flying around and hiding inside coats and papooses.eventually the rabbit was defeated by some processed ham that had been left on the floor, he slipped and put his back out, couldn't get up, and Denise took advantage by making him watch the spongebob squarepants film until the rabbit was beaten into submission. The rabbit was beaten, and out from inside the rabbit costume came the tiny Irishman and a young girl with hands made from weetabix and legs made from spoons with a tiny version of urie gellar bending then in order for her to walk properly, like knees. The girl told our Denise to comb her moustache and unplait her armpits as the next challenge was just around the corner. She was told of a magical glove far far away in the land of used rubber gloves. It was the giant glove that leads to Shatoon himself, the bringer of corn. The challenge was to go to the glove and ride it directly to Shatoon, and get him to make her a nice loaf of cheese bread. With the cheese bread she must coax out of his house the mouse from mouse hunt, and then catch it in a hessien sack and ask it about the next challenge. The spoon legged lady decided to help her on the way by giving her the map of the treaturous journey. Our Denise set of at a brisk pace and was soon picking up speed and getting closer and closer to the mystical glove. She came to a fork in the road; he told her exactly what was going on in the area. Things such as how the party hat wearing pelican and the shark with knees had fallen out and needed help settling their differences. Denise had no time for this but as she was a kind natured person she decided to make an attempt to help the two marvellous characters. As the fork leads her to the pelican she could see right away what the problem was. The pelican was holding the shark in its huge balloon like mouth whih wouldn't exactly make the shark a happy little shark with knees now would it. She simply held an old sock in the shape of a fish in front of the pelican waited for him to open his mouth and took out the shark. She made them shake hands, stole the pelicans party hat slipped it next to the bread and spongebob DVD in her papoose, and was on her way again. The helpful fork took her back to the road, as she may not have remembered the way; she thanked him and carried on her merry journey. She trundled along skipping and hopping and making the whole journey fun with her ingenius mind tank. Soon she could see the glove protruding from the landscape like a massive glove protruding from a landscape. She ran with excitement and grabbed hold of the glove. She noticed the glove had Shatoon written in giant letters on the side of the glove, which immediately whizzed through the air as soon as our entrepid explorer was seated comfortably upon its back. She was thrown around like a rag doll in a tumble dryer, thankfully she didn't shrink like one. Th
Unknown "sexy manwhore" Crazy - 16 years, 9 months, 12 days ago