Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Sit down, sir, we serve anyone.
Cust omer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter?
Cust omer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes Sir, they are not very good swimmers.
Cu stomer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That's all right, Sir, he won't drink much.
Custom er : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup?
Waiter : I wouldn't know, Sir, I'm a waiter,not a fortune teller
Custo mer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter : Funny? But why aren't you laughing?
Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get mummy then?
Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask I can take this train to
Kuala Lumpur.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
Teach er : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the
game went into extra time.
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a
commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table
and shouted, "Order, order." The drunkard immediately responded,
"Thank you, your honour, I'll have a scotch and soda."
Cu stomer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Penang in
two days time?
Post Master : Well it might do.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Johor.
An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
'How long has what been going on?' said the man.
Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.
1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.
Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.
Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the
field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.
Waite r : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu.
Kien Fei "♥Mr Playful" Playful
- 16 years, 9 months, 18 days ago
