A husband wrote the following letter for his wife and left it on the dining room table:

'To My Dear Wife,

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you & I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset - I shall be home before midnight.'

When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:
'My Dear Husband, I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Marriot Hotel with Michael, one of my students, who is also on the tennis team. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old.
As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of Math, you will understand although it may appear that we are in the same situation, there is one mathematical difference: 18 goes into 54
a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.

Unknown "hi" Playful - 16 years, 7 months, 21 days ago

The Commanding Officer of a Regiment in the U. S. Marine Corps was about to start the morning briefing to his Staff and Battalion and Company Commanders. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, he decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had
been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was 'work' and how much of it was 'pleasure?' The X.O. chimed in with 75-25% in favor of work.
A Captain said it was 50-50%.
The Colonel's Aide, a Lt., responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure, depending on his state of inebriation at the time.
There being no consensus, the Colonel turned to the Private First Class who was in charge of making the coffee. What was HIS opinion?
With out hesitation, the young Private First Class responded, "Sir, it absolutely has to be 100% pleasure."
The Colonel was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why?
"Well, Sir, began the Private First Class, "if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."

Unknown "hi" Playful - 16 years, 9 months, 5 days ago

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good
manners asked her students the following question:


Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young
lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?

Michael said, 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'


The teacher responded by saying, 'That would be rude and impolite.'
What about you, Sherman, how would you say it?

Sherman said, 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom.
I'll be right back.

That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word
bathroom at the dinner table.

And you, little Stevie, can you use your brain for once and show us
your good manners?

I would say, 'Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have
to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to
introduce you to after dinner.


The teacher fainted.

Unknown "hi" Playful - 16 years, 9 months, 5 days ago

WHAT DOES A KISS TASTE LIKE??

One day a First Grade teacher had a taste test with her students. She
picked a little boy to do the first test. She blindfolded him, put a
Hershey kiss in his mouth and asked, 'Do you know what it is?' 'No, I
don't,' said the little boy. 'Okay, I'll give you a clue. It's the thing
your daddy wants from your Mom before he goes to work.' Suddenly, a
little girl at the back of the room yelled, 'Spit it out! It's a piece
of ass.'

Unknown "hi" Playful - 16 years, 9 months, 20 days ago

Okay, I will start posting Jokes here so it is easier for people to read and keep up to date on.
Unknown "hi" Playful - 16 years, 9 months, 21 days ago