So you think you know your friends. Especially the ones oldest and dearest to you, you know, the ones that you actually care about? But, you know I am beginning to think that maybe we never really know anyone, even ourselves. After all everyone has said "I can't believe I did that". So, if we were more familiar with ourselves would we be so surprised? Or if we thought we were tough enough to take on as many hurts as we had to just to make it through life? And then we find that just because you're tough enough doesn't mean that you come out unscathed? What then? Just because you don't shatter like glass doesn't mean that little pieces aren't chipped away. Tiny little fragments of our innocence and hope. Does that make less of our souls, or more? Does "I thought I knew" make a difference in the end? Does it make the hurt less or easier or the disappointment less earth shattering than it always seems at the time? Does "I must have been wrong" make the pain go away more quickly? Or is all that we can do for ourselves is gather up the fragments of our broken hearts and keep them close so that we may never forget the whole that we once were?
Unknown "~Lisa'sBAD GIRL" Annoyed - 16 years, 11 months, 13 days ago

the theory of linear thought is flawed.
in the byways & highways of ideas & imagings linear thought is inescapable mind-death.
crashing single-minded through barriers constructed to take us in new directions leading to new ideas - theories of life unconstructed.
unfettered thoughts of spiritual madmen yearning for a life undefined.
undefined - unknown.
desires for novelty in dreams.
imaginings of a presence. of earth. of end.
we are one. one without.
without whom.
who.
what?
with each other & our Self. in singular. in plural. in total.
with our minds screaming for release
for orgasm
for birth.
of.
of self-soul-mind-life.
screaming through the night unknown in darkness - in chains.
in chains bound for glory
for ether
for nirvana's perfect light.
light of discovery.
new light in the dimness
the darkness
the dumbness.
the fortitude of the spirit manifest.
in the spirit on the page in the soul.
soul of life spewing forth geysers of life pouring
streaming
splashing
through the conscious walls of never was.
will be.
forever.
unended life in springs.
hope springs.
eternal in life in spirit in soul.
new to the universe.
uncoiled in the brilliant blue of morning.
mourning age
loss
heart
disappearing behind today.
in the shadows lurking.
today.
today.
todaytodaytoday.
stopping the promise of tomorrow by dwelling on today.
& the pieces.
particles,
bits crumbs dust ash
of today.
become.
soil for tomorrow.
in a moment
flash
blink
blip
becomes yesterday & tomorrow.
tomorrow never was.
today never is.
all the past shrieking into the past a base for the future.
men in space.
space in time.
time in meaning.
means nothing.
nothing is everything.
everything.

all things.


Unknown "~Lisa'sBAD GIRL" Annoyed - 16 years, 11 months, 13 days ago

running rampant through the lines of communication in us

truth seeps through the crack when no one is looking

lies pour over the bridges we once walked o'er proud

thinking is against the masses and the masses are against YOU

think for self

but never share a thought

orwellian doublespeak will kill us

think globally

think locally

think about who is watching you think

editing your brain

warning you off

hunting you down

inside your own head



it is you.


Unknown "~Lisa'sBAD GIRL" Annoyed - 16 years, 11 months, 13 days ago

It seems that I am finding myself compelled to revisit this subject every few months. I will not be reposting or resending anything to massive amounts of people about the Christian god. Or any other god for that matter. Religion and Spirituality are very different concepts for the mass of thinking people. Your religion refers to what belief structure you adhere and your spirituality is a reference to the actual beliefs to which you subscribe. However I find that overwhelmingly the shove-it-down-your-throat means by which Christianity promotes their belief structure is incredibly off-putting. I will repeat this for those who may not have read my first blog on the topic. Christianity has ruined spitituality for millions of people. The idea of a vengeful loving god is a dichotomy that I cannot accept. I believe that faith is very important but only to the person who has it. Tolerance is important to everyone. So while I support your right to plant the seeds of your religious faith as you please, allow me to deny them water. Faith is a very personal thing. Your relationship between you and your god is highly personal, even if your relationship means you don't believe at all. More important in our daily lives though is that we accept and understand those whose belief structures differ from our own and do not belittle or vilify them because of it. We must also be on constant guard to see that because of our unintentional actions that we do not fall prey to that same trap. If we expect respect from our fellow man, we must give it. Attacking the very essence of their belief structure is an very personal attack. Please try to recognise that the people are around you deserve the same respect that you would ask them to give you.
Unknown "~Lisa'sBAD GIRL" Annoyed - 16 years, 11 months, 13 days ago

I am deeply internalised. I find myself living inside my own head more often than not, whether or not this is healthy has become quite a debate between me, myself and I. I am sensitive to the point of fault, but calloused to a point of fault as well. I am caring beyond all belief, but seemingly not so. I have a thick skin, but I am extremely fragile. I love without reserve. I am my own worst enemy. I am critical & hypocritical. I am content to be alone but find loneliness a pain too deep to bear. I think too much. Sometimes I don't think enough. I am tempestous & unbalanced. I am a rock. I am thoughtless and thoughtfull all at once. I am myself. I am indefinable; the definition of me defines dichotomy. I am a mess - but well put together. I am the person no one wants to be, but everyone admires. I am something beyond myself.

Unknown "~Lisa'sBAD GIRL" Annoyed - 16 years, 11 months, 13 days ago