Lesson 1: - Don't upset the Pirate who brought you....she must be a god of some form...

I have many pets, that I have named under the pirate act of 1509, and they're my crew, each one of the pets I have I pet, buy things for, kept entertained, genrally do what they want or ask for.
Now one of my pets is a cheeky little scurvvy dog who demands to be made Cpt of the area he lives in, then tells me that he wants to take over my little pirate world.
LISTEN here you little welp, I'll crush you like the hermet crab you are, and cast ye over board before I'd consider doing anything nice for you again.
I know I may have stolen you in the first place, but you came running back when someone stole you back.
ITS called the pirates way of life.
I live for the 3 Ps (pillaging, plundering and penatration).
So I spent some hard pillaged gold, brought the scally wag back, and now he's trying to mutiny , so I shall do what all good pirates should.
I bluming well tought him a lesson.
Now the sea shall be his judge.

DON'T upset those who are greater than you, or those who are more pirate!

Unknown "Pirate Packman" Inspired - 16 years, 4 months, 3 days ago

Today me and my mate Oli decided to fight by bidding over a mate of his called Ronni, and to be fair I think he's going to somehow loose because I am sexyer....lol yeah right how can I beat a man that dresses in the Rocky Horror style of clothing you just can't do that to the poor guy!
Unknown "Pirate Packman" Inspired - 16 years, 4 months, 3 days ago

My cat is called Baba, but before that he was called Custard. Two weeks ago my cat decided to try and kill himself, or show off to my two mates, and he jumped out of my bedroom window. Stupid!
He always does stupid stunts like this, my mother thinks hes high on catnip all the time, and that he somehow has an death wish.
When my friends and I told my mother that my cat jumped out of the window, the first thing she asked was "did you push him to do it?"
I know I am a scary person but god damn it what a mean thing to surgest!
Unknown "Pirate Packman" Inspired - 16 years, 4 months, 12 days ago