Technology for country folk

LOG ON: Making a wood stove hotter.
LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood.
MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the woodstove.
DOWNLOAD: Getting the farwood off the truk.
MEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerful gettin the farwood.
FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood.
RAM: That thar thing that whut splits the farwood.
HARD DRIVE: Gettin home in the winter time.
PROMPT: Whut the mail ain't in the winter.
WINDOWS: Whut to shut when it's cold outside.
SCREEN: Whut to shut when it's blackfly season.
BYTE: Whut dem dang flys do.
CHIP: Munchies fer the tv.
MICRO CHIP: Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag.
MODEM: Whatcha did to the hayfields.
DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix's wife.
LAPTOP: Whar the kitty sleeps.
KEYBOARD: Whar ya hang the dang truck keys.
SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knives.
MOUSE: What eats the grain in the barn.
MAINFRAME: Holds up the barn ruf.
PORT: Fancy flatlander wine.
MOUSEPAD: That's hippy talk for the rat hole.
Unknown Peppy - 16 years, 9 months, 1 day ago

I woke early one morning, the earth lay cool and still
when suddenly a tiny bird pirched on my window sill
he sang a song so lovely, so joyful and so gay,
that slowly all my problems began to fade away
I stirred beneath the covers, crept quietly out of bed,
gently shut the window
and crushed his fucking head

I'm not a morning person.
Unknown Peppy - 16 years, 9 months, 1 day ago