Baron Dangercat and the Black Friday at Petsmart
By: Christopher Mack

Baron Dangercat lowered his goggles as wisps of murky cloud began stinging his squinting eyes. Through the pre-dawn gloom he could make out the dark shapes of the parking lot. He made a wide circle over the black asphalt lake, it's surface filled with metal-glass islands in zig-zag rows. The lot was full, no place to land... or park.

Dangercat looked wearily at his fuel gauge, the dial fluttering nervously above the red line indicator. Sign of a quick drop and a sudden stop if he didn't think fast. Not knowing any other way to think except fast, Dangercat formulated a plan.

A gust of wind now, with feline grace and speed Dangercat maneuvered his Orange Tri-Plane through the turbulent sky. The dawn's coming light revealing the lettering on the side of the little machine, "The Citrus Tragedy". The agitation in the air lasting only a moment he realized he no longer hand time to dally about planning. He banked the tiny plane to a course above the pavement walkway and nosed the many winged sky craft down. The distant details of the scene suddenly becoming close and personal as he plummeted like falling stone. The beige concrete footpath moating the strip mall seemed to widen as he swooped in low, which reminded him of a skin toned rock hard carpet rolling out before him.

The Baron spiraled past the Best Buy. A long line of waiting patrons were receiving vouchers for gaming consoles, laptops and other technological delights. He could not resist opening fire on them with a cackle. As the panicked costumers dove and crouched for cover their paper vouchers flying into the air like confetti he reached out and clawed at their prizes. Snatching a few from the ether as he passed, Dangercat observed his haul. Several X-Box 360 coupons and an I-Pod certificate. He quickly stuffed the I-Pod voucher in his billowing scarf letting the 360 coupons flutter out of the plane's cockpit.

"One more reason to survive this..." he thought, imagining how much better this would have all been with background music. Focused now and back to work Dangercat looked again at his fuel gauge and was suddenly reminded of the imminent danger to his life should he not touch down soon. His target so near he resigned fate and pushed on damning the consequences.

No sooner did he accept his possible fate did he now pass a long line of humans standing anxiously awaiting entry to "The Gap". Dangercat didn't have the heart to open fire on these people thinking, "Poor fools... they're dead already." He envied the human ability to cry in this moment and felt a strong pang of sympathy for all misguided life scurrying about the globe infinitely ignorant of their own folly.

This thought process was cut short as the red and blue signpost indicator of his target quickly approached. Nearly manic with glee the Baron thought about leaping from the craft twords his heavenly goal. Glancing down at the streaking pavement he thought better of this and decided that he would attempt a landing instead. Still pale and murky in the early hours Dangercat could faintly make out the neon lettering on the inside window of his target. Just beneath the heavenly blue and red characters spelling "PetSmart" other letters mocked him with their intensity. "Closed."

Baron Dangercat thought briefly about his life and the exciting events therein. Resolving that this quest was as noble and worthy as any of the previous and that fortune favors madness he aimed his flight path directly for the wide glass panels. He was surprised that his first thought before impact was a sudden worry about locking the door before he left his estate.

The glass exploded around him like a dazzling fireworks show reflecting every lighted surface around him suddenly in slow motion. It was as if in that moment he could see every possible angle of the store reflected in the twirling shards all around him. In the chaotic spinning he saw the object of his quest on this Blackest of Fridays. A stack of green gold piled as a Mayan pyramid might be arranged. The Catnip was an island of sweet promises of the ecstasy to come. Dazed he reached out for it.

The vision of Catnip twirled away as the shard of glass reflecting it from some other angle of the store fell out of sight. Dangercat suddenly became aware of a barred surface rushing twords him at impossible speed. Placing his paws over his eyes and ducking suddenly explosive catastrophe tore "The Citrus Tragedy" asunder. It's wings folding inwards and ripping apart as her fuselage like a bullet, blasted through the bars and into the caged inner area of the store. The whirling prop ground to a halt lodged on what seemed to be a log. The engine half submerged in a huge water basin of began pouring grey smoke from the twisted hull of the once proud "Tragedy".

Snapping to sudden awareness Dangercat immediately checked his scarf, finding the I-Pod voucher still there he let out an uncomfortable sigh. The straps keeping him safely in his cockpit now trapping him and the building heat at his back paws growing. Struggling franticly with the straps now the heat unbearable Dangercat heard a sound which took all focus from his plight in the cockpit... a hissing chuckle from a short distance away.

Looking over his shoulder the Baron Could now make out the shape of a great mound of luminescent scaly flesh half lit in the increasing light of the morning. A pile of scaly flesh like a thick rope sat atop a heated rock a few feet away. A massive forked tongue flicked out and in tasting the air. Dangercat suddenly realized that the coiled mound was eyeing him quite casually but in his mind decidedly hungrily.

"The things I get myself into he thought..."

(to be continued!)
Unknown "Baron Dangercat" Daring - 16 years, 6 months, 11 days ago