update on life
Hello...

I am back once again. lol

I will be getting online more often know...I think. heh

I was just wanting to give everybody an update on my life. Well.. I got a new job at a place called Rock Bottom Wholesale. It is a pretty good job. All I do is unload and load trucks and restock the warehouse that I work. It is a pretty hard job...but I can handle it. I went to Texas about a month ago and had a really good time with somebody that I like alot and one day hope to be with him. :-)

I got hurt a little while back. It was 3 Thursdays ago. I got woke up at 5:28 am. to one of my room mates screaming FIRE!! I got up and ran into the hallway and it was really smokey. The apartment next to the one that I live in was on fire and it was spreading quick. I know everybody that I live around and I knew that they were all still asleep. So...being the nice person that I am..I ran up to the second floor and started banging on everybodys door. This all happend in about a minute and a half. It was starting to get to where I couldnt see anymore. I turned around to go down the same stairwell that I came up and the smoke was so bad. It looked like a black monster coming at me. The whole entire second floor filled up in under 30 seconds. I couldnt see. I couldnt breathe. I was starting to freak out and started crying. I had to feel my way all the way down to the other end of the hallway. When I got to the window it wouldnt open and I started freaking out even more. So..I grabbed the handle on the window and pulled straight out and it shattered. I had to do the only thing that I could do to get out of the building...jump. I did and ended up bouncing off of the building twice before landing on the wood porch in front of the building. I am so fucking happy that I made it out. It was a different world up on the second floor and I thought I wasnt going to make. I was being the good guy.

I learned that the 3 guys that I woke up that were in the apartment right above the one that was on fire got hurt jumping from their apartment window. 2 of them broke their legs and 1 broke his ankle. I had to go to the hospital and they found carbon monoxide in my system and the xrays they took of my chest showed that my lungs were filled with black crap. I am still coughing it up.

Well...That is all I am going to write for now. ttly
Unknown "§ Gunsel §" Seductive - 15 years, 5 months, 15 days ago

"Sleep....those little slices of death...how I loathe them."

:-)
Unknown "§ Gunsel §" Seductive - 16 years, 4 months, 8 days ago

My life sucks so much.

People like to hurt me.

I have freinds that care for me.

I wish I could block out the world.

People look at me in disgust.

I live in a fucked up world.

Why are people so mean.

I thought my friend really was my friend but now I know the truth.

I wish time would stop.

I love everyone.

I care for people.....but do they care for me?

I am gay....I am human.....Why do you hate me?

I sometimes wish I was never born.

My dad wishes I was dead.

Why do I cry at night?

I am single.

I show so much love to everyone.

I get called a fag by people that I care about everyday.


I have tried to commit suicide coutless times in the past.

I like to lve without drama.....But it always finds me sooner or later...Then I have to try to delete it from my life.

I need a boyfriend.


I am finished writing for now. I will come back on another day and write some more random things about my life.
Unknown "§ Gunsel §" Seductive - 16 years, 4 months, 12 days ago

"Positivise your negative. Negativise you positive. Find your balance." That is the neutral factor for a better life
Unknown "§ Gunsel §" Seductive - 16 years, 4 months, 12 days ago

I am going to type this song that I like so much and I cry everytime I hear it. It is by Celine Dion and it is called "I surrender"



There's so much life I've left to live
And this fire's burning still
When I watch you look at me
I think I could find the will
To stand for every dream
And forsake the solid ground
And give up this fear within
Of what would happen if they ever knew
I'm in love with you

'Cause I'd surrender everything
To feel the chance to live again
I reach to you
I know you can feel it to
We'd make it through
A thousand dreams I still believe
I'd make you give them all to me
I'd hold you in my arms and never let go
I surrender

I know I can't survive
Another night away from you
You're the reason I go on
And now I need to live the truth
Right now, there's no better time
From this fear I will break free
And I'll live again with love
And no they can't take that away from me
And they will see...

'Cause I’d surrender everything
To feel the chance to live again
I reach to you
I know you can feel it too
We'd make it through
A thousand dreams I still believe
I'd make you give them all to me
I'd hold you in my arms and never let go
I surrender

Every night's getting longer
And this fire is getting stronger, babe
I'll swallow my pride and I'll be alive
CAN'T you hear my call
I surrender all

'Cause I'd surrender everything
To feel the chance to live again
I reach to you
I know you can feel it too
We'd make it through
A thousand dreams I still believe
I'd make you give them all to me
I'd hold you in my arms and never let go
I surrender

Right here, right now
I give my life to live again
I'll break free, take me
My everything I surrender all to you

Right here, right now
I give my life to live again
I break free, take me
My everything I surrender all to you
Unknown "§ Gunsel §" Seductive - 16 years, 4 months, 12 days ago