HOW DO YOU UN-MEAN YOURSELF?
If meanness is a flu, i think i already have a fever. High fever, that is. I need to treat it before it worsens and get innocent bodies infected.
My conscience diagnosed it. Getting a great audience from shooting funny nasty remarks like a fire gun is empowering. It makes me deliriously evil. As i bask in the joy of being a funny witch, strange fear slowly creeps in. Suddenly, Dr. Conscience showed up and asked, what if I am going overboard? And what am i doing to my innately good soul? (Yeah, i believe that...so take that smirk out.)
I think I am ruthless. I can sleep having overly-sensitive people hurt from my truthful rougishness. I could just sigh and roll my eyes. I am a believer that life is not just about tenderness, but toughness. Vulnerable people die in grief. For a time, I went on walking mercilessly in my throne of funny arrogance.
But I have a conscience.
In my quiet moment now, I am contemplating on how have I molded my character lately. I still believe that life is about toughness. But I am not liking what I am creating myself.
I still want to be that gentle tender woman who knows how to be frisky and fierce when needed...just when needed. I know I could be that beautiful, modest, and graceful lady with hidden mischievousness coming out only to amuse innocent souls around.
So now I seek help. How do I un-mean myself and retain that charming impishness?
How do I control it when I feel it is already running in my veins?
How do i undo this bad habit? Hard.
At this moment, I am feeling the symptoms of meanness attacking my good soul (notice that I mentioned it twice already ;D). I feel sad a bit, a little guilty and weak. So should i blame my conscience for this? Or should I acknowledge this sickness and try a good remedy?
I want a remedy.
Unknown "__) MEH (__" Purring
- 16 years, 9 days ago
