For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit - demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.

Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed..............................................+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows....-1
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...................-1
You leave the toilet seat up..................................-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty............ 0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom...........-2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5
in the snow...................................................+8
but return with beer..........................................-5
and no liners................................................-25
You check out a suspicious noise at night.....................+2
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing............ 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something..........+5
You pummel it with a six iron................................+10
It's her cat.................................................-50

AT THE PARTY

You stay by her side the entire party......................... 0
You stay by her side for a while then go to chat with a friend from school...................................................-2
Named Tiffany.................................................-4
Tiffany is now a dancer......................................-10
With breast implants.........................................-18

HER BIRTHDAY

You remember her birthday............................... 0
You buy a card and flowers.............................. 0
You take her out to dinner.............................. 0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1
It is a sports bar......................................-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night..........................-3
And your face is painted the colors of your favorite team...................................................-10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

You go out with a pal............................... 0
The pal is happily married..........................+1
The pal is single...................................-7
He drives a Ferrari................................-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED).......-15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER

You take her to a movie...................................+2
You take her to a movie she likes.........................+4
You take her to a movie you hate..........................+6
You take her to a movie you like..........................-2
It's called Death Cop III.................................-3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans....................-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans....-15

YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable pot belly...........................,.-15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it.+10
You resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts............-30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."...............-800

THE BIG QUESTION

She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
You hesitate in responding......................-10
You reply, "Where?".............................-35
You reply, "No, I think it's your ass".........-100
Any other response..............................-20

COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a
Unknown "miias friend ;)" Playful - 16 years, 10 months, 22 days ago

A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. He decides to clean it, prepare it, and serve the deer meat for dinner. He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won't eat it if they know what it is, so he doesn't tell them.
His little boy keeps asking him, "What's for dinner dad?"
"You'll see", he replies.
They start eating dinner and his daughter keeps asking him what they are eating.
" Ok", says her dad, "Here's a hint. It's what your mother sometimes calls me."
His daughter screams... "Don't eat it, Jimmy !...... It's a f***ing arsehole...!!!"


Unknown "miias friend ;)" Playful - 16 years, 10 months, 22 days ago

i went to the hospital today.................. i am having a baby ( well not me) it was soooo beautiful, and you could see its heart beating..... im sooooooooooooo happy, please think of me.. xxx
Unknown "miias friend ;)" Playful - 16 years, 10 months, 28 days ago

I know a girl who called me to get my phone number.
she spent 20 minutes looking at the
orange juice box because it said
"concentrate."
she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
she tried to drown a fish .
she thought a quarterback was a refund.
she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
She asked for a price check at a dollarstore.
she tripped over a cordless phone.
she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
she asked for a price check at the Pound Shop.
she studied for a blood test.
she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home,
she moved.
when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said
"Airport Left" she turned around and went home
Unknown "miias friend ;)" Playful - 16 years, 11 months, 2 days ago

Its Happened everyone, Im going to be a dad, I am so happy, now dosnt that deserve some thumbs?
Unknown "miias friend ;)" Playful - 16 years, 11 months, 3 days ago