Trying a new pic, not quite sure it works though coz now i just look like a head lol. It'll give it trial run....
Unknown "♪La Boheme♪" Sparkling - 16 years, 6 months, 18 days ago

Nine Words Women Use…



1. FINE – This is a word women se to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. FIVE MINUTES – If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five minutes only means five minutes f you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. NOTHING – This is the calm before the storm. This means something and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. GO AHEAD – This is a dare, not permission. DON’T DO IT!

5. LOUD SIGH - This is actually a word, but a non verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer to #3 for the meaning of nothing)

6. THAT’S OKAY – This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. THANKS – A woman is thanking you, do not question her or faint. Just say you’re welcome.

8. WHATEVER – A woman’s way of saying fuck you.

9. DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT – Another dangerous statement, meaning that this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing herself. This will later result in a man asking “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response, refer to #2.




Unknown "♪La Boheme♪" Sparkling - 16 years, 6 months, 28 days ago

Delia's Way
> Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent
> ice-cream drips .
> The Real Woman's Way
> Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for God's sake. You are
> probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.
>
> Delia 's Way
> To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
> The Real Woman's Way
> Buy Smash and keep it in the cupboard for up to a year.
>
> Delia 's Way
> When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake
> mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
> The Real Woman's Way
> Tescos' sell cakes. They even do decorated versions.
>
> Delia 's Way
> If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato
> slice.
> The Real Woman's Way
> If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough sh!t. Please recite
> with me the Real Woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care
> how bad it tastes."
>
> Delia 's Way
> Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep
> for weeks
> The Real Woman's Way
> It could keep forever. Who eats it?
>
> Delia 's Way
> Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead.
> The throbbing will go away.
> The Real Woman's Way
> Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces of
> vodka. Drink the vodka. You might still have the headache, but you wont give a
> sh*t!
>
> Delia 's Way
> If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They
> give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
> The Real Woman's Way
> It's one of the few uses men have.
>
> Finally the most important tip:
>
> Delia 's Way
> Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles
> The Real Woman's Way
> Left over wine???? Helllloooo ????

Unknown "♪La Boheme♪" Sparkling - 16 years, 6 months, 28 days ago

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up.
Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow.

It was addressed, 'Dad.' With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

'Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.

I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am..

But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy.. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't, really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love,

your son,

Joshua.





P.S. Dad, none of the above is true.

I'm over at Jason's house.

I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table.

Call when it is safe for me to come home.


Unknown "♪La Boheme♪" Sparkling - 16 years, 7 months, 16 days ago