我哭過了,
我痛過了,
我忙過了,
怎麼樣的愛才能 滿足你,
要怎麼做才能讓你愛我多一秒,
如果你輕易 就放棄我,
那又何必忙的一場空,
如果你沒愛過 那你為甚麼要更我走,
如果你愛過我那你為甚麼 輕易就愛上他人,
你放心我會原諒你,
誰然我好像 越來越恨你,
還是我是在恨自己,
我忘不了,我也 不下,
我喜歡你,
我愛你,
但愛的也深,痛的也深,
很辛苦,
但我還是愛著你,
永遠愛著你...

Unknown "Marcus ;)" Loyal - 15 years, 3 months, 8 days ago

so long didn't write anything here.. let me write something since i m thinking alot recently..

I am in a dilemma. I was thinking, what type of feeling am I having now. Recently, there were few gals hinting me. But whenever they hint, I will think of my ex-gf. I guess I am still loving her. Although now she just treated me as her friend. For those who hint, it is still ok since they were not direct. So I can escape. But there was one, ask me directly. I was so confuse that time. I tried to change the topic. I guess, she was really unhappy that time since it's so obvious that I tried to avoid answering her.

For so long, I was thinking do true love really exist. I hope it does. Initially, i thought that after some time, if i could change, we (me and my ex) will be able to make up. But it seems like I am really wrong. I guess, she never really love me deeply. If not, she would never have any relationship with others. I think i can never blame her since it's my fault. I am not able to give her happiness.

As for me, I like her since I knew her. Then tried to tackle her when she got bf (i never know that time). After certain incident, I thought I will never have the chance. So I give up and tried to hide the feeling in me. Try to think back, i thought i was able to buried that feeling, but i never do. It was just a lie to myself. Fate brought us together last yr. But I destroyed it with my hands. I was really stupid. Opp only comes once. GOD never give the second chance. But I still want to have the hope coz there is no other gal that can make me to love this deeply. If there is chance, i will want to tell her that I really miss her. I really love her. Can we be together. I will never like before (immature). I don't want to lose you anymore.

Since she already got her soul partner, the only thing i can do is to give her my blessing. Hope she will be happy forever. I will always be there for her whenever she needs me.

Love forever~
Unknown "Marcus ;)" Loyal - 15 years, 3 months, 16 days ago

let bygone be bygone.

Recently, I m thinking too much. It is really mental torture to me. I guess it's really time for me to wake up. We can't predict what is going to happen in the future. Let the nature take it path. Whatever things going to happen, happen. And if that's the way it going to be, let it be.

Here, I would like to say a few words to the only special person. I know whatever happen back there, happened. I can't change the fact. And indeed I send you alot of messages, this and that. In the content, I really meant it, and I guess you might not like it. Just forget about that, alright? I guess we need time right? Just to let you know that, whatever things happen, you won't walk alone. If any other people able to give you happiness, go for it. What I can say is, you will still be my friend, and I will be glad to see you smiling and happy everyday. Though, I may still want to tackle you. Haha!!! Alright!! Enough of that. I hope you aren't going to avoid me in the future. And I hope that, there is a day where we are able to share our happiness and sadness, just like we did before as friends.

May happiness shine in your future path, always.


Unknown "Marcus ;)" Loyal - 15 years, 8 months, 24 days ago

it has been so many months, I still carry a strong feeling. I m not sure why is it so. I feel like somehow I m attached to her although I no longer with her anymore. I m still thinking about her. Missing her so much. Yet what can I do? I just stay put wishing for her happiness. Is this what I can do the most for her? I really don't know. The only thing I need to do is to change myself. There aren't any other thing I can do for her.

Thinking back, my heart was really aching when she said break up. My heart hurted even more when she said she got a bf. I start to wonder what is love. The question is, can I blame her? I guess no. She left me just because I wasn't good for her. I guess I hurt her alot. But to be frank, I guess she is the only person I had love ever since I know her from the first day. Though not really know her in reality (laugh).

From the very beginning, I feel so comfortable just being with her. I guess she felt the same. If not, she won't have chosen me. However, I was the one at fault. As time passed, we were separated in distance. I gotten more and more worried and pressure her unintentionally. I was too persistance at that time; weren't able to control myself. Maybe I heard too many stories from my friends about them breaking up at that time. I felt so useless losing control of myself and weren't able to sit down with her and settle the problem.

In my mind, it is full of questions. Sometimes people say, if you can't think of the answer, the think of it. She once said love me, so did I. We had make promises. Trying to work for the future. It wasn't promise broken that I care much. Though, no point make promises when we don't keep it. The question is, she said she love me, does she meant it? If yes, after we broke up, why is it so soon that she can have another bf? If no, why she said the words? I really got no idea.

But I do care about her. And I do love her even until now. Somehow, I still feel attach to her. I did try to forget. It is not that I can't put it down and carry on my life. I still living normally. It is the feeling, and the love to her I can't get rid off. I did try to flirt with gals, chit-chatting with gals. But everytime I do, she will come to my mind.

I guess I was the one too naive. I thought if we break up, she will give each other some time before the right time. I guess she doesn't really care about it. If not, she will have tell me. And even for friends, I guess she become cold to me, comparing last time. Still, I wanted to believe if we are meant to be, then we will be. And I really hope we are.
Unknown "Marcus ;)" Loyal - 15 years, 9 months, 6 days ago

I was abit blur recently. Yesterday, I went out to for dinner. Then i left my house key in my car. I forgot to take out the key when i went back home. So this morning, I was about to go to work, but I didn't realize that I don't have the key to open the gate. My friend went to work earlier than me, and he locked the gate. If there is any fire, I am dead. Haha!!! I always say to one person, blur queen blur queen. Seems like, I am now becoming the blur king. Haha!!!
Unknown "Marcus ;)" Loyal - 16 years, 18 days ago