AAADD- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.


This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.As I start toward the garage,I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.I take my check book off the table,
and see that there is only one check left.My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside
so that I don't accidentally knock it over.The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need water.I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morningI decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.At the end of the day: the car isn't washedthe bills aren't paid the flowers don't have enough water,there is still only 1 check in my check book,I can't find the remote,I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day, and I'm really tired.I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail....
Unknown "Not For Sale!" Loyal - 16 years, 9 months, 27 days ago

I'm Back...Bought a new computer..got the internet..and having fun in Saskatoon with my Sweety Pie Rita..
Unknown "Not For Sale!" Loyal - 16 years, 11 months, 19 days ago

Dont go to church on sunday
Dont get on my knees to pray
Dont memorize the books of the bible
I got my own special way
Bit I know jesus loves me
Maybe just a little bit more

I fall on my knees every sunday
At zerelda lees candy store

Well its got to be a chocolate jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate jesus
Keep me satisfied

Well I dont want no anna zabba
Dont want no almond joy
There aint nothing better
Suitable for this boy
Well its the only thing
That can pick me up
Better than a cup of gold
See only a chocolate jesus
Can satisfy my soul

(solo)
When the weather gets rough
And its whiskey in the shade
Its best to wrap your savior
Up in cellophane
He flows like the big muddy
But thats ok
Pour him over ice cream
For a nice parfait

Well its got to be a chocolate jesus
Good enough for me
Got to be a chocolate jesus
Good enough for me

Well its got to be a chocolate jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate jesus
Keep me satisfied

Words BY Tom Tom Waits..
Unknown "Not For Sale!" Loyal - 16 years, 11 months, 21 days ago

Rabbits Rabbits Rabbits...
Unknown "Not For Sale!" Loyal - 16 years, 11 months, 29 days ago

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after work, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I don't play many sports but can trash talk like the best of them. My 3 Superbowl rings mean little to me compared to my Stanley Cup that sits in my foyer. I can speak braille. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Uruguay (hehe), I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis, and drank in a strip club with the Dahli Llama and the Pope..... Does anyone actually read these?
Unknown "Not For Sale!" Loyal - 17 years, 5 days ago