TOP 10 REASONS WHY SOME MEN FAVOR HANDGUNS OVER WOMEN

10 - YOU CAN TRADE IN AN OLD 44 FOR A NEW 22, NO QUESTIONS ASKED.

9 - YOU CAN KEEP ONE HANDGUN AT HOME, AND HAVE ANOTHER FOR WHEN YOU'RE
ON THE ROAD.

8 - IF YOU ADMIRE A FRIEND'S HANDGUN AND TELL HIM SO, HE WILL PROBABLY LET YOU TRY IT OUT A FEW TIMES.

7 - YOUR PRIMARY HANDGUN DOESN'T MIND IF YOU KEEP ANOTHER HANDGUN FOR A BACK UP.

6 - YOUR HANDGUN WILL STAY WITH YOU EVEN IF YOU RUN OUT OF AMMO.

5 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T TAKE UP A LOT OF CLOSET SPACE.

4 - HANDGUNS FUNCTION NORMALLY EVERY DAY OF THE MONTH.

3 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T ASK, "DO THESE NEW GRIPS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?"

2 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T MIND IF YOU GO TO SLEEP AFTER YOU USE IT.

1 - YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A HANDGUN
Unknown "Best Friend" Dazed - 16 years, 9 months, 21 days ago

TOP TEN REASONS TO GO TO WORK NAKED...

1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"

2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.

3. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."

4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.

5. You want to see if it's like the dream.

6. So that with a little help from Muzak you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume.

7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.

8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.

9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.

10. No one steals your chair.
Unknown "Best Friend" Dazed - 16 years, 9 months, 21 days ago

BUMPER STICKER

My karma ran over your dogma.

I brake for... wait... AAAH! NO BRAKES!!!!!

A fool and his money are a girl's best friend.

I'm not driving fast-just flying low.

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

"I is a college student."

If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.

Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Life is too complicated in the morning.

All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.

Nobody's perfect. I'm a Nobody.

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

He who laughs last thinks slowest!

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.

Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an IDIOT!

Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Tastes like chicken keep on licking. Tastes like trout get the fuck out!

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Born free... taxed to death.

If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

Mopeds are like fat women. Fun to ride but you don't want to be seen with em!

Don't drink and drive.... You might hit a bump and spill your drink.

My Kid Beat Up Your Honor Student!

Unknown "Best Friend" Dazed - 16 years, 9 months, 21 days ago

WANT A DAY OFF WORK!!!!!

So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away fron work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year which leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be darned if you are going to take that day off!

Unknown "Best Friend" Dazed - 16 years, 9 months, 21 days ago

I don't know if I could kill someone with a frozen turkey because that is a lot of evidence to eat .... unless I found a whole room of people who also wanted that person dead
Unknown "Best Friend" Dazed - 16 years, 9 months, 29 days ago